


Snapped

by skycruuuuu



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Romance, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt Clarke Griffin, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Bellamy Blake, Post-Season/Series 04, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Protective Bellamy Blake, Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 05, Suicidal Clarke Griffin, Suicidal Thoughts, The 100 (TV) Season 4, The 100 (TV) Season 5, The 100 (TV) Season 6, josephine!clarke - Freeform, primes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:14:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 54,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24497779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skycruuuuu/pseuds/skycruuuuu
Summary: "Oh stop it Murphy, let the princess wallow in her self pity, she dug this hole herself. I mean she left Bellamy to die, what does she expect, to be welcomed with open arms."Season 5 finale au. After they take off and are safely in space, Clarke snaps.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin
Comments: 174
Kudos: 357





	1. I hate him

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sick of the hating on Clarke club, it's about time she stands up for herself and lets everyone have it. This is a multi chapter fic full of angst and drama so if that's not your cup of tea don't read it. This is my first story for the 100, so let me know what you think in the comments.Please please please comment

Part I 

_I hate him_

"Cheer up Clarke, we won! Things could be worse. You could be McCreary!" said a familiar voice. 

"I wish I was McCreary" she said softly. Murphy turned his head sharply towards her catching many eyes. 

"Woahh there Clarke, you ok?" He said, except this time there was a certain gravity in his voice that wasn't there before. 

"No" she whispered softly. Murphy looked at her, a sort of understanding in his eyes. 

"Well, that's ok, you wanna tell me what's going on, Princess?" 

"I hate him." She said. Murphy snorted. 

"McCreary? Ya me too, guys an asshat." Murphy said somewhat relieved, as if McCreary was the problem she was dealing with. 

"No, I hate _him_." Murphy looked to her in confusion.

"Whose him? You're gonna have to clue me in here Princess?" More eyes were starting to look over. It was the first time Clarke had spoken in a while, and even though everyone hated her, they were all watching. Even Raven was. Her conversation with Echo coming to a halt. Madi was also looking at her. Madi, her daughter. Her daughter that was now Heda. Her daughter that wouldn't look her in the eye, that was _ashamed_ of her. Just because she wanted to keep her safe. She shook her head blowing some hair out of her face. Murphy put a hand on her shoulder and she flinched, violently. She wasn't used to touch, she'd been alone for so long. It was overwhelming. "Clarke" he said softly. "You can talk to me, you're not alon-" at that she turned to him sharply. Blue eyes meeting blue. 

"I'm not alone?" she questioned sharply, her tone bitter, even though she tried to keep it out. She was now absolutely sure every eye in the control room was watching her. The control room, not the cabin in the valley. No they were on the ship. They weren't on earth in _her_ Cabin, in _her_ Valley- well Madi's valley. The Cabin she built, the Cabin she put her blood sweat and tears into, so that when he finally came down from space he would have a place to stay, they all would. No they weren' t there because they ruined it with war and death and bloodshed. They were in space. Murphy looked at a loss for words, not expecting her bitter tone. She scoffed, how could he not expect it. 

"Clark-"

"Forget it" she said "It's not a big deal. I know you only came here because nobody else would talk to me. You've completed whatever messed up obligation you have, ok." She said turning away and looking at her hands. 

"Clarke, that's not true. I came over here because I care, alright, and you are not alon-" At that Clarke jumped up, wanting to get away from him. 

"I'm not alone? I'm not alone? When has that ever been true" she said, somewhat hysterically. It looked like Murphy was trying to backtrack somehow, he knew he'd come across a touchy subject. He put his hands up as if trying to calm a wild animal. It looked like Raven was coming over, a scowl etched on her face. Great. She wanted to leave, and she scrambled trying to get to the door, until someone grabbed her arm. It was Raven. Clarke flinched back pulling her arm away with a start. Raven looked offended as if she couldn't figure out why Clarke was refusing her, as if Raven wasn't hating her, refusing to look at her, not two minutes ago. Murphy frowned at Raven, and they had a silent conversation with each other. Right, that's new. Raven looked resigned and stepped away slightly, her frown still painted on her face. It looked like some of the others were starting to come over as well. 

Breathe. Walk away. Calm down Clarke. Just Breath- 

"Clarke? Clarke?" said Murphy, "Clarke can you look at me for a second? Clarke?" 

"Oh stop it Murphy, let the princess wallow in her self pity, she dug this hole herself. I mean she left Bellamy to die, what does she expect, to be welcomed back with open arms." Raven said meanly.

Breathe. Calm down. Walk away. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale.

"You gonna respond or are you just gonna sit there. Great. Go ahead Clarke see if I care." Raven said walking away. "I should've known you would do this, your so selfish." 

It was like something snapped inside her. Something that she had been pushing down, trying to ignore the whole time. She couldn't breathe she couldn't calm down it was too much. 

"Selfish? _Selfish? "_ she cried, broken and hollow inside. "I have done everything, everything for everyone else, and I am always chosen second. Always the decisions fall on me. Always. I bore it so you don't have to. I chose who lives or dies! Right Raven. Isn't that what you said. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't want that? That maybe I didn't want to make those choices." Raven turned to look at her in shock. Clarke had never snapped like that before, gotten so angry like that. 

"Clarke, we've all had to do tough things." Raven seemed to be backtracking, realizing her mistake. Good. 

"I sacrificed everything! Over and Over and Over again, and I have always been _alone_." Murphy was stepping towards her and she whipped her head across towards him. 

"Don't even try to deny it Murphy. You know it's true. I was alone on the ark with only my best friend, my brother, who I thought betrayed me and got my parents killed. I was alone in isolation for a year. A year! I had no human contact for a year. Do you understand what that does to a person? To be so touch-starved like that. No human contact for a year! I was alone on the ground, and when finally, finally, I had someone. I had my brother back, he was murdered. I was _alone_ again. I found Finn, but it turns out I was the other woman and he had someone else the whole time. I was alone. I was alone when I had to pull the dropship lever burning 300 people alive, but saving my own people. I was alone when I had to carry that burden at 17 years old. I was alone when I escaped Mt. Weather, because everyone thought I was paranoid. I was alone when I had to make the decision to kill a man I loved to stop his suffering, but it didn't stop mine. I was alone when I had to make the choice to send _him_ in into Mt. Weather. I was alone when I was betrayed by our allies. I was alone when I had to kill the entire Mt. Weather civilization, no matter how much everyone tried to deny it tried to say it wasn't just my choice. The blame always fell on me, and I was tired I was so tired. I went from having no human contact to becoming the leader of an entire civilization, and I was 17 years old. 17 years old!"

Clarke could tell other people were staring, everyone was staring at her. Diyoza was looking at her like this was the first time she had ever seen her. Miller was glaring at everyone and everything. Madi was shaking, _shaking,_ in the corner. Echo was standing at the door analyzing everyone with sharp eyes. Emori looked horrified. Raven, Raven looked taken aback, as if she didn't expect this to happen. Monty and Harper huddled together wrapping there arms around eachother, so did her mom and Kane. Murphy was looking at her with something akin to empathy, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She couldn't stop. She couldn't look at him. 

"I had enough of it, I couldn't keep making those hard choices. It couldn't keep falling on me, I couldn't handle it. So I left, and everyone condemned me for it, as if I owed them something for it. As if I didn't sacrifice who I was for them. I left, and then I was the commander of death, _wanheda_." she cried bitterly. 

"I bore it so they don't have to. I was brought back to Polis, I had to broker peace with the grounders, by myself, alone. I finally, finally found someone who understood and then she was murdered right in front of me. I was alone again. I was alone when I went into the city of light. I was alone when a horrible peace of technology was shoved into my head. I had to make that list deciding who lives or dies alone, and I never wanted to do that. I was still a teenager, and I had to make those choices. Those decisions I never wanted to make. I-I thought that maybe just maybe I had someone then, but I was wrong, I was so so wrong. I sacrificed myself and climbed the tower and put the dish back into alignment alone. I watched you take off and leave me here, and I was proud of you. I lived on a dead planet, a planet that has done everything in it's power to kill me, alone. I was the last human on the planet earth, and I couldn't know if you guys survived in space, and I couldn't know if anyone survived in the bunker. I was truly and completely alone for months. I called _him_ on the radio everyday for six years. I put a gun to a gun to my head and prayed, prayed for it all to just _end_. I think Jasper had the right fucking idea, all we do is ruin everything we touch" she breathed out, interrupted by a chocked sob.

She looked over and saw Monty shaking, and the horrified expressions of the others, of her mom. She avoided his gaze he kept trying to catch her eye but she couldn't let herself look at him. She couldn't. 

"I almost did it, I was so close, but then I saw a bird, and I chased it through the dessert, and I found the valley, and Madi. I wasn't completely alone, I had someone to protect. Sure it was hard, and Madi was so little not able to hold real conversations, but I wasn't completely alone anymore. I found my home and my daughter. I thought the universe was giving me a break, that I could be happy. I would do anything, _anything_ , to protect her. Madi was all I had, is all I have. She's my family, and you've all showed me that I was never a part of yours. No matter how much I sacrificed, no matter how much I love you, I will always be chosen second. It didn't matter that I didn't want that malicious piece of technology in Madi's head. The thing made Lexa believe in blood must have blood, the thing that made me hear the other commanders in my head. The thing that Madi's parents hide her under the floor for, just like Octavia was hidden. The thing that made Madi try to attack me because she thought I was a fleimkeipa who killed everyone in the valley and was now here to take her. I don't even think Madi remembers that. It didn't matter that I fucking begged him chained up against the wall not to put it in her head."At that the eyes in the room turned to him accusing, shocked. Figures he didn't tell them that part. 

"It didn't matter that if I had chained him up and put the flame in Octavia's head he would've done the exact same thing. As if he hadn't put her first over and over again, and I understood. It didn't matter that I couldn't let anything happen to her. It didn't matter. It didn't matter because i'm not a part of your family. Right? Right!" she practically screamed the last part, shaking all over.

"No. Clarke, Clarke that's not true." came a bunch of different voices across the room, but she couldn't listen. "You are a part of our family, of my family." She couldn't listen. Someone grabbed her arm. It was Raven. 

"Clarke you are a part of my family. I chose you" Raven said throwing her own words back at her, but it was too late. 

"No no no he told me I wasn't he told me." 

"Who told you? I don't- I don't understand" Raven said. Raven the genius didn't understand something, shocking. 

"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. " Clarke whispered over and over and over, willing it to be true. 

"Clarke." Monty said softly. "Clarke?" putting an arm on her shoulder. She flinched away, still whispering. "Clarke? Clarke?" She could see him on the other side of Raven. She could see him, she couldn't-couldn't.

"Echo, Monty, Harper, Raven, Murphy, and Emori are my family." Monty looked at her confused. "Isn't that what he said" she hissed that last part out looking at the ground. 

"Clarke" he chocked out his voice sounding broken. She flinched violently at the sound, turning away from him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. She repeated in her head over and over and over again. "Clarke. Clarke that is not what I meant."

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. 

"Clarke. Clarke please just look at me." He sounded so broken so wrecked she wanted to just reach out and comfort him. Hug him like she used to, but she can't he's moved on. He has Echo now, and a family that she's not a part of. "Clarke _please_." She never could deny him anything. She turned around slowly, her whole body trembling. And finally, finally brown eyes met blue. 


	2. She hates us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone deals with the aftermath of Clarke's explosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it's finally here! Yay! sorry about the wait. This chapter was really hard for me to write, I couldn't figure out how I was going to go about it, but overall I think it turned out pretty good. Let me know what you guys think in the comments.

Part II 

_She Hates Us_

Clarke had broken down, all the walls around her crashing and burning, she knew nothing would ever be the same. She was staring at his face uncomprehending, they just stood there staring at each other. She couldn't bring herself to say anything, she had already said so much. He stood there his piercing brown eyes staring at her. Locked onto her. 

"Clarke." he said softly. His arms were shifting by his side it looked like he wanted to reach out and touch her, but thought better of himself. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." He said sincerely his voice like gravel. 

"I can't- I can't do this right now." she breathed out, and then she ran. She fled from the room like a coward. She could hear the others calling out to her trying to go get her, and she could hear arguments starting in the room, but she couldn't deal with it, with any of it right now. It was all to much. She ran through the ship, catching the eyes of both wonkru and elegius, but she couldn't bring herself to care. 

"What the hell is wrong you." 

"You left her chained up!" 

"You're such a bitch Raven, why the hell would you call her selfish?"

"You all just left her on a planet to die, I think I care way more about her then you do."

"Get off your high horse Miller, you've been a lapdog for Octavia this whole time"

"We all know you like to blame Clarke for everything."

"You're her mother! How could you do this to her."

"I'm a spy, and I can definitely tell that no one in this room has treated the poor woman fairly."

"Shut the fuck up Echo."

"Huh not so perfect now are you."

"At least I tried to talk to her, you all were just perfectly happy with hating her from afar like usual."

"Ya like your perfect."

"You're such a bitch."

"Fuck off."

"She definitely hates you."

"Like your one to talk Diyoza."

"Well she sure as hell doesn't like you prick ."

"Don't be a dick Monty." 

"How dare you." 

"Everybody QUIET!" 

Suddenly all the voices in the room slowed and stopped. The heads in the room all turning to look at the little girl huddled up in the corner. "She told me stories about you all, did you know that?" The people in the room looked at each other guilt written all over their faces. "She was never the hero, it was always you guys. I was so excited for when her friends would come down from space, and when we would finally be able to open the bunker. I wanted to meet the heroes from her stories, it turns out none of you are heroes. She was the hero the whole time, and you tried to make her the villain. I wish we never opened the bunker. I wish the chip was never put in my head, and I wish- I wish none of you had ever come down from space!" she yelled the last part out panting heavily. "I wish we could go back to normal, and live in the valley again without you guys. I wish none of this had ever happened." Madi cried. Gaia walked over towards her calmly. She looked at the others in the room walking closer and shook her head. Guilt was etched all over her face. She gently pushed the sobbing girl out of the room, and closed the door with a resounding click. 

Bellamy sunk into the chair in the corner, his head in his hands. Echo turned to him, and they conversed softly.   
  
"I hate to do this right now Bellamy, and this sure as hell isn't about me, but I think we should go back to being broken up." at that Bellamy looked sharply up to Echo. "We were never going to last, and we weren't ever the best for each other. I will cherish the times we had together, but you and I both know we are too different. We fought on the ark and broke up too many times to count. I think we both know that this is it for us."

"Echo..." Bellamy whispered softly. 

"Don't Bellamy, don't apologize. I will always love you, but not like that, and the same goes for you. You know it, I know it. You're my family Blake, and just because we're breaking up doesn't mean we can't still be friends." Echo said smiling softly. 

"You're my family too Echo." Bellamy said softly. Echo hugged him and then moved away turning towards Monty and Harper. They gave her a reassuring nod and she felt, for once in her life, like she did the right thing. The spy could tell that the others in the room had heard the exchange but she didn't care, in fact, that was probably a good thing. Now Echo didn't have to tell them herself. 

Clarke had found a gym on one of the lower levels of the ship, and began punching a punching bag. She fought and fought and fought until her knuckles bled and she couldn't fight anymore. 

Murphy and Raven would not look at each other. They had always been an explosive duo, the two of them. Their personalities clashed too much for them to not fight. "Well well well, looks like Becho's over now for the 80th time." Murphy said. Echo glared at him her eyes narrowing into slits. " I think we all called it." 

"Shut the fuck up Murphy." Bellamy growled.   
  
"Make me asshat." Bellamy stood up his eyes dark and dangerous, but Murphy would not back down. "Huh what are you going to do Blake chain me up and stick a malicous piece of technology in my duaghters head, oh wait you've already done that, time to think of another tactic." he cried malicously. The room collectively sucked in a breath. Bellamy took a wild step backwards, hurt shining all over his face. 

"It wasn't like that. I-I" 

"Well tell me then what was it like Bellamy, huh?" Raven asked bitterly. At that Murphy spun around towards her. 

"Don't you talk you Raven, I haven't forgotten about you, you're a fucking hypocrite, you are just as bad as he is, if not worse." Murphy said. 

"Excuse me Murphy. Wanna say that again." Raven cried her hands balling into fists.

"Sure Raven. You're a fucking hypocrite, you are just as bad as he is, if not worse." 

"You fucking dick Murphy."

"Oh i'm the dick aren't I, not you two, Clarke's supposed "best friends." Murphy said addressing both Bellamy and Raven. They both flinched at that, good, Murphy thought bitterly. They should feel bad. 

"In my personal opinion you're all dicks." Diyoza deadpanned. At that every head in the room turned to look at her. 

"Excuse me" Abby cried. "You are the reason the valley fell."

"No we are all the reason it fell, you can't blame it on just one person. Clarke was the only one who really fought for it, and you guys were blaming her. Don't blame me if I don't believe a word that comes out of any of your mouthes." Diyoza said smirking. Shaw elbowed Diyoza as if willing her to stop talking, and she scowled at him. 

"Let's all just calm down, alright, I think we can all admit to treating Clarke horribly." Monty said, ever the voice of reason. Raven opened her mouth to deny Monty and claim she's never done anything horrible, but the words died in her mouth and she slumped against the wall. Sliding down it, landing on the floor with an audabile thud. Bellamy had his head in his hands again, Miller was still scowling, Abby sat with her arms around Kane, Harper and Monty were still standing together, Muprhy was sitting on a chair tapping his foot impatiently on the ground, Emori was staring at Murphy worridly, Echo was gaurding the door, and Diyoza and shaw were sitting the corner together. 

"I should go after her." Raven said with a sigh, and then was met with a chorus of protests.

"Are you fucking insane." said Bellamy, "she hates you, she hates us." at that everyone in the room fell quiet again. 

Clarke got back up and started practicing again. She grabbed a play sword and started attacking a dummy. She had gotten very good at fighting, she practiced everyday on the ground. It was a habit, she made it part of her routine, and because of it, and the knowledge she had from the flame, she had become a very good fighter. She heard the door open and immediately spun around fists up.

"Woah there Clarke, you good?" asked the person she was least expecting. Octavia Blake in all her glory was standing _concerned_ in front of her. "Clarke?" she asked. 

"Huh" Clarke shook her head tucking a loose piece of hair into her pony tail that she'd tied up. Sometimes short hair was the worst. "I'm ok." she said. At that Octavia sent her a pointed look filled with disbelief. It kind of shocked her that this girl that stood in front of her was the same one from a couple of days ago. Bloodreina no more. "I kinda lost my shit and blew up at everyone." she finally admitted. Octavia let out a startled laugh but smothered it with her hand. Clarke glared at her. "It's not funny." she said pouted. Octavia just shook her head but didn't push her.

"Wanna spar?" Octavia asked. Clarke nodded in response. In that moment she was immensely greatfull for Octavia Blake, she didn't think she could forgive her yet, but she understood her. She understood the pressure of leadership, and while she would never truly understand everything that happened in the bunker, she would try her best to. It struck her suddenly that the girl in isolation, and the girl under the floor were very similar. They both would have to spend the rest of their lives trying to earn forgiveness for their actions. All of her friends would. At that thought she shuddered. Her friends. They weren't really her friends were they, and they sure as hell wouldn't be now. They probably hated her even more, but for once Clarke couldn't bring herself to go find them, to go comfort them. Instead she grabbed another fake sword tossed it to Octavia, preparing herself for the inevitable defeat that would come with sparing with Octavia. Octavia nodded to her and then in a flash her sword whirled towards her. Their swords clashing. They were dancing around each other, and Octavia looked surprised. "Damn Clarke, I didn't know you could fight?" she said her eyes dancing. Clarke just grinned slashing her in the stomach. 

"Not much to do when your alone on a planet for six years." she said grinning. In truth, Clarke had become quite the fighter. She found books on fighting techniques in Becca's lab, had the commanders fighting techniques in her head, and endless time to practice. Octavia whirled her sword around attempting to strike her in the side, but Clarke blocked her with a side parry, and Octavia laughed. Eventually they both had swords up against each others necks. "Truce?" she asked. 

"Sure Clarke." Octavia said lowering her sword, and at that moment Clarke struck her in the side and twisted her arm around pinning her to the floor. She got up dusted herself off and offered her hand out to Octavia. Who looked appalled but grinned as she took her hand and let Clarke pull hers up. "Damn Clarke, you play dirty." 

"I have a competitive streak." the girl in question said grinning. "It's a problem." 

"I don't want it in my head anymore." Madi said quietly, and the hand that was stroking her hair stilled suddenly.   
  


"Are you- are you sure _heda?_ " Gaia asked, albeit hesitantly. 

"Don't call me that." Madi scowled. " I don't want this, I've never wanted this, I- i just want to be a kid again. Did you know my parents last words to me were to hide from the flame. To not let it get into my head?" she asked suddenly. At that Gaia shook her head, surprised. "It's one of the reasons Clarke was so adamantly against it. I told her about it, and she told me she would do everything in her power to make sure that didn't happen. The only reason I wanted it to be in my head was because I wanted to save her, I couldn't lose another mom." Madi said softly. 

"I'm so sorry Madi." Gaia said. 

"Can you take it out, _please."_ Madi cried out. " I know it-it I know it makes me a coward, but I can't do this. I don't want to do this." 

"Madi." Gaia said. "You are anything but a coward. You have been so very brave, and if you do not want the flame, you don't need to have it." she said quietly. "There is no shame in not wanting it in your head. I can take it out right now if you're sure that's what you want." 

"I'm sure." she said. 

"Alright." Gaia said slowly. Then she grabbed a bandage from a medical bag in the corner, turned Madi around and pushed her hair over her shoulder. She whispered those famous words and pulled the flame out of her neck. She carefully put it in the box she carried for it, bandaged Madi's neck, and sealed the box closed. 

Bellamy stood up abruptly and punched a wall. 

"Oi!" Murphy said. "What the fuck is wrong with you." Bellamy turned around wildly scowling at him. "Stop it Bellamy! This isn't helping anything, you need to calm down." 

"How am I supposed to calm down?" Bellamy cried hysterically. "I love her and she hates me, she couldn't even look at me, she- she couldn't even address me." At that everyone fell silent. " Yes, I noticed. She didn't say my name. Not even once, not even once! She just refered to me as him and then whisper about how much she hated me over and over and over again." 

"Bellamy." Kane said softly putting a hand on his shoulder. 

"Fuck! Fuck. I really messed up." he said. 

"I think we all messed up." Harper pipped up. 

"I only put it in Madi's head because-because I couldn't lose Clarke, and when I said that bit about you guys being my family, I didn't think she'd interpret it like that. " he said softly. 

"I think all you people can do is beg on your hands and knees for forgiveness." Diyoza said sharply from across the room.   
  
"Jesus Christ Diyoza! Can you learn some tact!" chided Shaw as he elbowed her again. 

"I have no filter I'm pregnant." at that Shaw scowled and looked down at the floor muttering stuff about Gen Z having no chill. 

"Someone should go find her, if not me right?" asked Raven. At that the heads in the room turned towards her. 

"Your probably right, but who?" asked Abby. 

"Definetely not someone she's outright mad at." said Murphy," and that list includes everyone in the room so-"

"Not helpful John!" Emori bit out. 

"Sorry just speaking the truth." He said shrugging, but you could see hurt and guilt in his eyes as he spoke words.   
  
"Ok well, lets figure out who she is the least mad at in the room." Kane said. That man was always trying to find solutions to problems. 

"Well then, we can immediately rule out Raven and Bellamy." said Murphy. Emori glared at him, but nobody tried to deny what he said. 

"I don't think i'm a good idea either." said Abby softly.

"Me as well." said Kane. 

"Well." said Diyoza. "I think we all know I'm out of the picture." 

"I don't really think anyone who was in space should go either." said Monty. At that everyone turned to him. 

"What" asked Miller. "I didn't think she was particularly mad at you, Emori, or Harper." he said. 

"I don't know." said Monty "I was really unfair to her in the bunker, and we kind of all left her to die, and she's probably still bitter about how Bellamy would wait for us and not for her, plus their's the whole family thing." he said. At that Bellamy turned to him. Monty backtracked quickly, " I know that's not what you meant by waiting for us and not her when you closed the door, but-but that could also be something she's thinking about." Emori frowned pensively. 

"Monty's right." said Echo. 

" I always am" he quipped, attempting to lighten the mood. 

"I don't think I should go." said Miller. "I mean, you guys are kind of right, I was Octavia's lapdog and I don't think she'd want to see me right now." 

"So who's left?" interrupted Harper. "None of the people in space, and none of the people on the ground, that's everyone."

"Well, not everyone." said Raven turning to look at the one person who hadn't said anything. 

"No no no no no." said Shaw quickly. "I don't even know her, what am I supposed to say." 

"I don't know pilot boy, but you're gonna have to figure it out and not make her even more mad at us because you my friend," said Murphy slapping him on the back," our are best bet." Shaw scowled but nodded. 

"Alright fine, but i'm not doing this for you, and i'm not going to try to make her less mad at you people, because quite frankly you deserve her anger. I'm just going to go and try to be a friend, because she sure as hell needs one" said Shaw, and then as quickly as he said his speech he was gone, leaving silence in his wake for the millionth time today. 

"Well that was one hell of a fight." said a somewhat familiar voice from the doorway, both Octavia and Clarke spun around to see Shaw standing in the doorway slowly clapping his hands. 

"Shaw?" Clarke questioned, "what are you doing here?" 

"I was elected by the cowards upstairs." at that Octavia chocked on a laugh and Shaw flashed her a grin, "to come down and see how your doing." 

"Oh." Clarke said. Octavia shot her a look. 

"Go, I'll be fine here. I'll just be practicing so I can beat you in our next fight." 

"You wish Octavia." Clarke said grinning, Octavia just shook her head smiling as she resumed her attack on the punching bag. 

Shaw and Clarke walked around the ship in silence, it wasn't awkward silence, but companiable silence, and Clarke found herself thinking about all the times she'd walked like this with-with Bell-Bellamy. 

"They all feel horrible upstairs you know," Shaw said breaking the silence. Clarke looked to him suprised, and felt a flash of guilt strike through her. "but in all honesty they deserve that, and worse in my opinion." at that Clarke's eyes widened and she turned to look at him curiously. "Clarke, you've been through hell and back, it's ok for you to be mad at the people who left you there, it's ok for you to be mad at the world, or be mad at the people who were supposed to help you through it." Clarke just continued staring at him with wide eyes, nobody had ever talked to her about this. "Did you know when I was on earth I was a pilot in war?" he questioned, Clarke shook her head slightly. "When the soldiers came back home they often had ptsd, and there friends and family were all there to help them through it. I'm going to help you through this ok, because you sure as hell need someone who's on your side." Clarke didn't know what to say. She thought Shaw was going to talk about how she was making a big deal about nothing or that she should just forgive them, she wasn't expecting this. 

"Shaw." she said her voice thick and chocked up, "thank you." He nodded at her and swung and arm around her shoulder, and she leaned into the touch thankful to have a friend. 

"Look!" said Harper from the window. "It looks like Shaw and Clarke are walking around the ship." At that everyone scrambled to the windows, and they saw Clarke and Shaw walk together with Shaw's arm over her shoulder and Clarke leaning slightly into his touch. 

"Pilot boy did it!" Murphy exclaimed. Bellamy however wasn't overjoyed like Murphy, instead he felt an irrational flash of jealousy stab him, thinking about how that should've been him with his arm over Clarke's shoulder. He shook his head realizing that he'd forfeited that right and felt terrible all over again. "I'm going to go talk to her." said Murphy suddenly. He was met with a chorus of protests similar to when Raven said she would go out, but Murphy waived them off. 

"Look, I know we said nobody should space should talk to her, but I want to, and I don't care if that makes her mad at me. I was the one who tried to talk to her in the first place when you people were too busy hating her, and I'm going to talk to her now, I don't care what any of you have to say, except for well Emori." and with that he was gone opening the door and walking to Clarke in the hallway. 

"Princess!" Murphy hollered catching many eyes. "Let's take a walk." he said grinning. Shaw glared at him whispered something else at Clarke and then rolled his eyes walking back intro the control room where everyone else was. 

"What do you want Murphy." Clarke called back. 

"Princess, I'm wounded, how could you think I just "want" something. I came here to talk, plus I'm not a coward." Clarke shook her head fondly. "OK but seriously I want to say a few things ok." Clarke looked up sharply at his change in tone. "Clarke I'm so sorry for all the irrational blame I put on you through the years. I'm sorry about blaming you for the nightblood, and the hanging and all of it. You're one of my best friends Clarke, and I really missed you up their on the ring. I think you're one of the only people who understands me, and if you were up their it would've been totally different, plus nobody else understands me humour." he said earning a laugh from Clarke. "Clarke, if you ever feel like pulling a Jasper, come talk to me ok, because I understand what that's like. Us coakroaches got to stick together." Clarke smiled at him and he shoved her. 

"Hey!" she yelped outraged. 

"Sorry not sorry." Murphy said running down the hallway.

"I'm gonna kill you Murphy!" she said chasing after him. 

"I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me." Murphy yelled in a funny accent. Clarke stopped ubruptly. 

"What the hell was that." she exclaimed. 

"Something Diyoza taught me, that woman is nuts. I like it." Clarke laughed again the sound filling the hallway, and then little arms ran up to her, encircling her waist. 

"Clarke." she whispered tearfully. Murphy stopped running and turned around scowling. 

"Oi munchkin!" he said. "Your ruining my moment." 

"Shut up Murphy." she retorted. "I don't know why Clarke said you were funny when your clearly not." she said pouting. 

"You've raised a monster Clarke." Clarke didn't respond to Murphy, instead she knelt down in front of her daughter, searching her face. 

"Madi." Clarke said, placing a hand on her cheek, "Are you ok?" 

"Ya." she responded. "Gaia took the flame out, I don't want to commander." 

At that Clarke sucked in a breath. "Are you sure?" 

"I'm sure." Madi said burrowing her face in Clarke's neck. She pulled back from Clarke and then said. "Are you ok?"

"I will be." she said shooting Murphy a grin. He smiled back. The three of them walked to Clarke's room. Murphy and Madi arguing the whole way there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what'd you guys think? I'm thinking about maybe adding more chapters, and maybe make the story include the events of season 6, instead of it being a 3 shot. Or maybe make this a collection and add another story to it which includes the events of season 6. Let me know what you guys think in the comments!


	3. Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and co make plans for the futre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo sorry about the wait! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think in the comments! I decided to add a couple chapters... I felt like I couldn't consolidate it into 3 + I think some people didn't deserve Clarke's forgiveness so soon.

Part III

_Making Plans_

Since everyone was still awake on the ship and there wasn’t enough space for everyone to have their own room, people had to bunk up, which had immediately given her anxiety because she was not ready to face anyone yet especially not Bellamy or Raven. She paced the hallway wondering about what she was gonna do and where she was going to go, with Madi clinging to her arm. Luckily a solution came along in the form of John Murphy. Who came running over.

  
“Hey Clarke! You and Madi alright bunking with me, Emori ,Gaia, Shaw, and Octavia?” Clarke let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She liked everyone in that room, even though it was an odd bunch. Murphy and Octavia in the same room, sleeping. Well she was in for an interesting night. She followed Murphy down the hall until they reached a small door with all her bunkmates inside. It was definitely an interesting sight. Emori and Murphy had one part of the room while Diyoza, wait what? Murphy didn’t say she was going to be there. She sent a questioning glance his way and he just shrugged settling down next to Emori.  
  
“If you think for one second that I was going to bunk with that other group of people you are sorely mistaken Murphy, I’m pretty sure half of those people hate me or want to kill me. At least the people in here aren’t completely insane.” At that Clarke raised an eyebrow. “It’s the better alternative, deal with it.” Clarke just shook her head and rolled out a sleeping bag for herself and Madi who looked distrustfully around the room. Gaia walked over to Clarke clasped her hand and started talking.  
  
“Clarke, I am truly sorry for putting the flame in your daughters head without your permission. It’s with me now but if you don’t feel I deserve to keep it or-“ Clarke interrupted her speech.  
  
“Gaia, you’re a good fleimkeepa, you know so much about, there’s no one else I’d give it to.” Truthfully that wasn’t true, she’d rather keep it herself, but the flame was Gaia’s entire life, she couldn’t take that from her. Gaia nodded great fully and then went to role put her mat. Octavia walked over and then quitely asked Clarke is she could role her mat out next to her, Clarke said yes, of course, and then everyone settled down. Madi was curled up on her left and Octavia was leaning against the wall on her right. Diyoza and shaw were in one corner while Murphy, Emori, and Gaia were in another. It was tight fit but they made it work. Clarke was just glad that she wasn't with the others, she did not think she could face them. 

"Clarke." Madi whispered, Clarke turned her head towards the small girl immediately. "Will you tell me a story?" the girl asked softly. 

"What type?" Clarke asked, praying that she wouldn't ask for a story about her friends. 

"How about a story about the Greek gods?" Madi responded, Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. It seemed Madi caught onto her discomfort in telling stories about her life, and instead opted for something fictional. She didn't truly know much about the Greek Gods, only the stuff Bellamy had told her, she had always imagined him coming down to earth and telling a story about them to Madi. It looked like that was never going to happen. 

"The gods?" Octavia pipped up, in a questioning voice. Clarke nodded in response. 

"Madi I only really know the one story about their crea-" she was interrupted by Octavia. 

"Umm- well I know some other stories if you want to her them." Octavia said quickly. "You don't have to- it's just clarke said she only knew the one- and uhh umm I though ya know you might want to hear a different one- but ya know if you don't thats totally uh cool- fine ya whatever- I don't wanna step on your toes or anythin-." her ramble was interuppted by a snort from across the room. It looked like Diyoza was trying to hold in her laughter and Octavia glared at her. Clarke looked to Madi, and she nodded excitedly at the though of hearing something new, so Clarke turned back to Octavia. 

"I think me and Madii would both love to hear one of your stories." Octavia blushed and nodded. It was so weird for her to see Octavia like this. She was still fierce of course, but she reminded her of the Octavia she had first met. The innocent one who would chase butterflies. She wasn't the same, she still had that hard look in her eyes that would never go away, but it was nice to see her like this again. It made Clarke think of the beggining, of the girl who friended a grounder. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts and listened to Octavia's story about the Greeks and the Trojan war. Clarke knew that one, but only vaguely, not enough for her to tell Madi the whole story. Octavia finished the story yawned but reached over Clarke to give Octavia a hug. Octavia froze but eventually wrapped her arms around the girl, albeit awkwardly. When Clarke's eyes met Octavia's she was surprised to see tears swimming around her striking blue orbs. Octavia blinked furiously and Clarke gave her a reassuring smile that Octavia shyly returned.   
  
"Thanks" the little girl said sleepily curling back up next to Clarke, "that was really good. Will you tell me another story tomorrow?" she asked. Octavia looked somewhat taken aback but nodded in response. Madi fell asleep in no time. 

"That girl sure is something else." Octavia said quietly. "You did a really great job raising her." At that it was Clarke's turn to stammer and blush. Octavia let out a soft chuckle. "Don't try to deny it, you did really good Clarke. Madi is wonderful." 

"Well it was mostly her parents." Clarke eventually stammered out. At that Octavia raised an eyebrow. 

"Didn't you find her when she was six?" Octavia asked. Clarke nodded in response. "That's to young to really remember her parents, you were the one who taught her and was there for her. That's the portion of her childhood that she'll remember. I don't know how you did it." Octavia continued on. "You were alone on a planet for months, and then found a little girl and raised her. Plus you were still a teenager, just barely an adult." At that Clarke sent her a questioning look. "What?" Octavia asked. "You were only 18 and you had only turned 18 a little bit before primfaya , that's a lot to deal with. I can't even imagine raising a kid by myself at 18, let alone doing it on a dead planet with no one else there to help." Clarke just shook her head. Octavia was making it sound much worse then it actually was, right? I guess when she truly though about it, it sounded terrible, but she made it through. Octavia slipped into her sleeping bag and got herself ready to sleep.   
  
"Goodnight O." Clarke said softly. 

"Night." she responded. 

Bellamy rolled his sleeping bag down in the corner. He was crammed up in this small room with Harper, Monty, Abby,Indra,Kane, Jackson, Miller, Echo and Raven, basically everyone Clarke was currently mad at. Everyone else was with Clarke. He couldn't believe Octavia was with her, but according to Shaw said they were getting along, so Octavia was with Clarke instead of in here with everyone else. Truthfully, he was glad, he didn't think he could face Octavia again. He didn't know had Clarke could do it. Clarke, gods he missed her. It was like an ache in his side. He had gotten her back just to have her ripped away from him. He knew he loved her. He had known for a long time, and had been planning on breaking up with Echo because of it. It just wasn't fair to her. Thankfully Echo broke up with him, so at least there was that. All of a sudden the door opened and Murphy came striding in. 

"Well." he said. "This looks cozy." he said with a lazy grin. "I just came here to inform you all that Diyoza is with me not you people." and with that Murphy turned ready to leave. 

"Is Clarke ok?" he blurted out. He couldn't help himself, he had to know. Murphy spun around and Bellamy thought he was going to yell at him for a second, but his face softened. 

"Just- give her time ok Bell." Murphy said. "Maybe talk to her tomorrow." He turned addressing the room. "But don't bombard her, and don't just apologize and go back to treating her like crap." Everyone in the room nodded though a few scowled defensively. 

"What's she doing?" Abby said softly. Murphy turned to Abby and his gaze hardened slightly. Murphy had never really liked Abby he always thought she treated Clarke horribly. It was a well known fact for everyone on the ring, because one time while Murphy was drunk he went on a rant talking about how Clarke should've been treated better. Nobody really knows when his dislike for Abby really started, but its always been there, bubbling under the surface. Murphy sighed resignedly. 

"She's with Octavia and Madi. I'm pretty sure they're telling eachother stories or something." Abby seemed suprised at that.

"She's not upset?" Abby said hesitantly, as if she expected Clarke would be crying and losing her mind or something. Murphy glared. 

"Of course she's fucking upset." He said sharply, Abby reered back and Kane narrowed his eyes, "It's just Clarke's not the type of person to fall apart and start crying all the time. If you knew anything about her." he sneered, "You would know that."   
  


"Hey." Raven barked, "that was uncalled for. We're just worried about her, Abby just wanted to know if she was ok, and Abby is Clarke's mother of course she knows stu-." Murphy turned his murderous gaze to Raven interrupting her. 

"Abby doesn't know a goddamned thing about Clarke, she either treated her like a baby and made it so that nobody ever respected her and she couldn't make decisions, or she placed every single burden ever on her." Bellamy found that he couldn't really disagree with Murphy. When the arkers got to the ground Abby never let Clarke (or him) make decisions and tried to coop her up, and then she did a 180 and started putting everything on her. Abby just switched between doing those to things, and it was honestly unhealthy. He remembered Clarke telling him about her mother's reaction to TonDC and he was honest to god furious with Abby. He shook his head, and cleared his thoughts turning back towards the argument Murphy and Raven were having.   
  
"Oh and you think you know Clarke! Ha!" he barked. "Comedy gold, Raven Reyes claims she knows Clarke." 

"Shut the hell up Murphy." Raven growled. 

"You started it, oh wise one."

"I swear to god I'm gonna ki-"

"Raven stop." Monty said. "You two really need to learn how to get along." They both just scowled at each other again. 

"Well, this was fun, i'm gonna go now." Murphy drawled, leaving the room. 

Bellamy just sighed and turned around to face the wall in his sleeping bag. His thoughts warring in his brain. 

Clarke woke up early in the morning, while everyone else was asleep. She glanced around the room and carefully removed Madi's arm from around her waist. She slipped on her shoes at the edge of her sleeping bag and tiptoed out the room, making sure she didn't wake anyone up. She managed to find a bathroom at the end of the hallway and a spare set of clothes, hers were filled with dirt, dust, and death. She slipped into the sweatpants and henley long sleeve tee, and washed her face rubbing the grime off her skin. She missed the lake where she and Madi used to swim and bathe in. As she stared at her reflection she was surprised to see dark circles in her eyes and bruises around her neck where echo had chocked her. God Echo had chocked her and none of them even cared. Raven just watched. I mean how could they expect her to help them if they never even cared. They claimed they were her "friends" but what friends leave their friends to die, or betray them and make their 12 year old daughter lead an army, or blame them for everything or-or. She shook her head. She needed to stop. She knew they would hate them for forever, but she didn't have to hate them, right. She sort of did. She loved them and would sacrifice herself again for them, but some part of her hated them. Deep inside she hated that they always villanized her and how they never treated her nicely. I mean what did they expect when they got to the ground, and the first thing they did was betray her, and the one person she was meant to protect. She went back to looking in the mirror and assessed her rats nest of hair on her head and decided to try to fix it. She spotted a brush in the corner of the room and slowly brushed through her hair. Then she pulled it half up half down kind of like how she would where it when they first got to the ground. It was much shorter though, and little pieces of hair fell out of it and framed her face, but it was better then it being down. She sighed and left the bathroom and began wandering the ship she went to the bottom floor of the ship, and stopped and heard shouting down the corridor. She turned around and raced down the hallway in that direction. It looked like members of Wonkru and Elegius were fighting with eachother. Shit! Wasn't someone supposed to be down here monitering them, making sure this wasn't happening. She glanced around the huge room with the two groups and she couldn't find a familiar face anywhere. Where was Indra or Kane or anyone. She shook her head, that was a foolish idea, leaving them down here with no supervision. 

  
"What's going on!" she commanded sharply. All of a sudden all of the eyes in the room turned towards her. "Wanheda" someone whispered. All of a sudden Wonkru members were bowing or lowering their eyes, and even the people in Elegius were listening to her. She glanced over at the two groups of people fighting in the center of the room. They were still shouting at eachother. "What's going on?" she asked again. All of a sudden voices were coming at her trying to explain what had happened. It looks like there was some argument about space and blankets. Huh. She quickly settled the argument and then everything was quiet again. She spotted Niylah in the crowd and made her way over to her. 

Niylah turned towards her and clasped her arm. "You ok?" she asked. Clarke nodded greatfully. 

"I will be, don't worry." Niylah assessed her quickly and nodded. "What's going on here?" Clarke asked.

"Nothing much, it was fine at the beginning, but people are starting to get restless." Clarke nodded in assent. "We've got to figure out what were doing and soon, these people aren't just going to sit her forever." 

"I agree, I have no idea what were doing, or how long were going to be up her, but in the mean time we need to create some semblance of organization." Clarke whispered, and Niylah nodded in approval. "Has anyone eaten anything. We have 400 people in this room, and were going to figure out how to get some food. I'll go check the supply area in this ship." Niylah nodded her approval. Clarke left the room promising to be back soon. 

  
She eventually found a storage room where she found rations, however since there were 400 people on this ship it looks like it would only last them 2 months at best. She sighed and grabbed the rations and put some of them in a bin. She then grabbed a clipboard and dragged the box to the hall. From there she started assigning out rations and also seperating the injured from the healthy. They were definetely going to need to be treated. None of these people had life threataning injures, but they still needed to be checked up on. She didn't want them to get infections or anything. Clarke sighed and got to work. 

Bellamy awoke to someone bursting into the room. Murphy and Sjaw assessed the room, hair mussed from sleep. It looked like they were both looking for something. "Clarke gone!" Murphy panted. The reaction was immediate, people began jumping to their feet demanding to know what had happened. 

"How can she be gone? What happened?" Raven asked. 

"Madi woke up a couple minutes ago freaking out cause Clarke wasn't there, which caused everyone else to freak out, and then I told them to stay there and me and Shaw would go check this room but she's clearly not here." Murphy explained.   
  
"Maybe she's in the bathroom?" Harper asked. 

"I checked." Shaw said. "Raven can you just check the monitors please." OH, that was a simple solution. Raven looked surprised that she didn't think of doing that herself, but she nodded in agreement and then checked the monitors. Everyone was looking at different screens trying to find Clarke.   
  
"Over there!" Indra pointed and immediately all the heads in the room turned to that screen. There she was, he couldn't quite make out what she was doing, but it was definetly her. "Can you zoom in." someone asked, and Raven obliged. Everyone took a step back as the video filled all the screens. It looked like Clarke was handing out rations and organizing members of Wonkru and Elegius. She was wearing different clothes, and her hair was pulled back in the same style he met her in, except shorter.

"Of course she's working." Murphy drawled shaking his head fondly.   
  
"It looks like she's assigning rations." Raven said. 

"And she's seperating a group of people over there, they're a mix of Wonkru and Elegius, I wonder why." Monty said pointing to that small huddle in the corner. 

"She's seperating the injured." Jackson said "Probably so she can bring them to the medbay and have them treated, smart." 

"What's on her neck?" Harper asked. Bellamy squinted at the screen, he didn't notice anything there before, but now he could clearly see a ring of bruises on it.

"Shit!" Murphy exclaimed.

"What happened." asked Monty. 

"When the hell did that even happen?" Bellamy asked gruffly. He searched the room looking for answers, but nobody gived him any. It looked like Shaw was staring at Raven and he minutely shook his head. "Do none of you know?" 

"Maybe it happened while she was in battle?" Miller said meekly. 

"No those are clearly marks by someone who has been chocked." Jackson said. 

"There's another ring of bruises below it!" Monty exclaimed. 

"What!" Raven asked. 

"I think those are from the shook collar." Diyoza said from the doorway. 

"I don't have any though." Raven asked confused. It seemed nobody questioned the woman's sudden appearance, 

"Well you weren't tortured nearly as much or as long as Clarke was, so that makes sense." Raven paled. She'd been too busy blaming Clarke for everything to think about what she had gone through. 

"Well." Murphy said. "Now that we know where she is, I'll be leaving, Diyoza will you tell everyone in our room that she's okay. I'm gonna go see Clarke." Diyoza nodded and left the room, and then Murphy left as well, except he had a whole band of people behind him. Murphy just sighed. "I swear to god if you people make her feel worse I will personally kick your ass." Raven looked offended and opened her mouth to retort but the words died on her lips at the look Monty shot her. 

They eventually made it to the room and Clarke was busy handing out rations 

"- ok you too here are your rations for the day, so make sure you save enough for whenever you want to eat, ok." Clarke said sweetly. She was sqwating, talking to two little Wonkru kids, and the sight made his heart flutter in his chest. The parents of the kids smiled at her greatfuly, and Clarke nodded her head towards them, turning around. When she saw him she froze for a millisecond, her eyes locked onto his. He quirked his lips up just a little, and she quickly unfroze turning away from him. "Good your here." Bellamy couldn't really figure out who she was addressing. She walked over to the group of them and just started barking out orders. "- I've split the people into groups." she said handing her clipboard to Kane and then telling them about the rations "-we need to come up with an immediate solution for food because this is only going to last us two months, Monty can you start up an Algea farm here? If not were going to figure out something else. I've listed some names of Wonkru and Elegius members who have some background in this area so they might be helpful towards that. Jackson, I'm going to need you to come with me, we should be going to the medbay to help..." He was struck suddenly by an image of Clarke when they first landed doing the exact same thing, she really was a natural leader. He found himself missing those days, when they were both together side by side. He glanced at Clarke trying to meet her eyes, but she would not look at him. Or anyone frankly, the only person she would talk directly too was Shaw and Murphy. Everyone else, she kind of talked at. She hadn't even looked at her mother, and he noticed that she didn't include her in any of her plans, including the medbay. His eyes caught on her neck, and the ring of bruises there and suddenly he couldn't help himself, he had to know what happened. "Murphy if you wan-"  
  


"What happened to your neck?" He asked albeit a little gruffly. She turned to look at him, but not really at him, her eyes were trained on a spot on his shoulder not his face. She shook her head and her eyes narrowed. Her fists clenching. He noticed that her wrists were also cut up and bruised. He felt immensly guilty for that, those wounds only came from struggling in chains, and he chained her up. 

"You know what happened." She said quickly. 

"Uh no, I don't." He retorted. His friends eyes were darting between the two of them as if watching a tennis match.

"Yes you do." she said shortly. 

"I don't actually, so maybe you could elaborate so I could find out." he said sharply. Why did she have to be so obstinant. She looked sharply up at him meeting his eyes for a millisecond, and he saw a variety of emotions flicker through them. 

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend." She said quickly, her eyes flickering downward as if she regreted saying it. She grabbed Jackson's arm and then walked over to the injured hearding them out.   
  
"What's that supposed to mean." He shouted towards her, but she ignored him. Striding out the room with Jackson and Miller trailing behind her. He turned to Echo.

"What's she talking about." he asked slowly. Echo was shifting guiltily, and he was surprised to see Raven look down guiltily at the floor as well.

"Echo..." Murphy warned. "What. Is. She. Talking. About." Murphy asked sharply punctuating each word. Echo swallowed audibly, but it was Raven who started talking. She just rambled actually, he had never seen Raven look so out of it before. 

"Well, uh basically when we found Madi, we were all pretty annoyed with. Clarke. Albeit unfairly." She added quickly when everyone glared at her. "She was like pointing her gun at us and grabbing Madi trying to leave, and I get why she did it now. But then I was so confused, because we were her friends you know, and she was always on are side, sacrficing for us, and I know that's not fair, and we shouldn't have held that against her because we were the ones who left her to die to save ourselves, and then we betrayed her the second we got down, and put the flame in her daughters head which was totally terrible-" 

"Raven, get to the point." Bellamy said gruffly. Raven nodded. 

"Right so, uh Clarke was trying to leave with Madi and then Echo kind of yelled and chocked her." At that everyone's eyes widned "But you know she didn't go through with it, Madi stopped her." 

"Madi. stopped. her." Murphy said slowly, "Madi stopped her! What about you, were you just going to let your "best friend" die! What the hell Raven. No wonder she doesn't think we care about her, you were literally going to let Echo kill her, and the only reason she didn't is because Clarke's commander daughter had to stop her. What in the fucking hell is this shit!" 

"You tried to kill Clarke." Bellamy said turning to Echo. Murphy stopped arguing with Raven to look at Bellamy, all of his friends were. "You knew how hard I took it when I thought she was dead, how the hell do you think I would've reacted if she died. What do you think I would be happy?" he said. 

"She betrayed you." Echo said sharply. 

"I betrayed her first!" he exclaimed hysterically. "I left her to die and I put the flame in her daughters head without her permission." Echo looked like she was going to interrupt him, deny him "Don't deny it. We all left her to die after she saved our lives over and over and over again. How many times has she saved your life. You would be dead if it wasn't for her, or still in a cage trapped under Mt. Weather, what the hell is wrong with you." 

"I did what I thought was right." Echo said stubbornly 

"What you thought was right!!! What you though was right! You thought killing the woman who I love." Echo reered back at that "the woman who has saved every single person in this room over and over again, was "right" you thought that was the right thing to do. I thought you changed after five years of peace, I thought you changed and you wouldn't resort to violence. I can't - I can't believe this Echo. Was it all a lie, a front?" 

"Bellamy-" 

"No don't. I don't wanna listen to a word you have to say right now. There is no way you can defend your actions, no way either of you can." he said turning to Raven. "You had the audacity to blame me for everything. Ha!" he said bitterly. Turning around scowling. Raven and Murphy were arguing again, and there was a crowd developing around them, there had been a crowd around him and Echo. He could he people whispering about what had happened, a plus entertainment he though bitterely. He just wanted to find Clarke and apolagize and tell her that he didn't know. God she thought he knew about it and was fine with it, and that hurt. How could she think that, she had to know how much he cared about her. She had to. 

"Both of you be quiet!" Monty snapped. Raven and Murphy turned to him with wide eyes. "You're drawing a crowd!" he gestured wildly around him, "and Clarke gave us jobs, we better get started." He hissed turning around looking for the people on Clarke's list that could help him. 

Clarke hurridly walked out of the hall. Bellamy had to know that Echo tried to kill her, right, she was his girl friend, and the only reason she would do that is because it's what Bellamy would want, right. But, he looked so surprised, I-I don't know what to think. Everyone appeared so suddenly, and right when everything was going so well. She sighed and entered the medbay where she had set up some cots for the injured to lie on and imediately got ready to work, but before she could start someone grabbed her arm, it was Miller. 

"Clarke" he said "Can we talk." She nodded in response. "I'm really sorry Clarke." at that she sent him a questioning look about to interrupt him, "No don't interupt, i've gotta say this, look I'm sorry for the bunker, blaming you, and all of it. I know we aren't as close as we once were but I hope you know you can talk to me." 

"Me too." Jackson pipped up. She turned to him in surprise, she hadn't even realized he was there. 

"Look we're one of the last members of the original 100 left. It's only me, you, Octavia, Murphy, Bellamy, Monty, and Harper." 

"You forgot Raven." she said. Miller just grinned at her. 

"I think it would do a world of good if Raven was forgotten once in a while, plus she's not an original member. I really missed you down their Clarke. I feel like life in the bunker would've been different if you were there." Clarke just shook her head smiling softly, it was nice to know she had people in her corner for once. " Also, that takedown yesterday was epic" He said lightening the mood slightly. At that Clarke looked up sharply at him a questioning grin on her face. 

"I'm serious, you are the only person I know who can do an epic take down like that. You kick ass, take names, and give 0 shits. You really tore "spacekru" a Primfaya sized new asshole." Clarke chocked on a laugh and Miller grinned. "I'm glad you were the one to do it, sometimes people really need to be knocked down a few pegs. Raven's been on her high horse for far too long in my opinion, all of them have been." Miller said grinning conspiratily,

"Miller you're the worst." 

"Nahh, I am clearly the best." Clarke just laughed and they headed inside chatting away. It was so nice for her to have her friend back. She didn't really realize how much she had missed him until he was right here talking to her. While she worked on patients Miller and Jackson chatted with her the whole time, about all sorts of things. It was so nice to not be alone, to not have to do this by herself. 

Bellamy brain was whirling the thoughts spinning around his head. He was helping give out rations right now but he couldn't focus. God, Echo had tried to kill Clarke. He just couldn't believe it, except some part of him deep inside him could. Echo has always been vicous and bloodthirsty, he just-he thought she had changed. He shook his head sighing and tuned back into the conversation. 

"- I think we should hold a meeting." Kane said. " We need to figure out what were doing and fast. Clarke's brilliant and has bought us some time with the rations, plus she organised Wonkru and Elegius, and her notes here are excellent, but we need to figure out the long term and stability..." Bellamy started to tune out. Clarke was so brilliant. When did she even have time to develop plans? She must've woken up while everyone else was sleeping, god that girl worked too hard. He wanted to chide her and make her take a break like he used to on the ground, but this wasn't the ground, and she was definetely mad at him. Someone was saying his name. 

"Bellamy can you go round up the people in here who need to be at the meeting?" Monty asked 

"Sure." He responded. 

"I'll go get Clarke." Monty said. He grabbed Harper's arm and they made their way to the medbay. 

"Clare? Miller?" A voice said from the doorway. She turned and Harper and Monty were both standing there looking for her.   
  
"Over here." Miller responded waving his hand. They spotted Miller and walked over. 

"We're having a meeting in a couple minutes, and we just wanted to let you guys know." Harper said. She turned to Jackson. 

"Do you still need Clarke's help, we can post pone it a little so she has more time here." At that Clarke sent a confused glance there way. They would postpone the meeting just because she wasn't there, she was not that important.   
  
"No, I'm good. Clarke and Miller can head out, I can have someone find you if I really need help." Jackson responded. 

"Ok great." said Monty. "Come on guys lets go." Clarke quickly removed her gloves and put her tools away. Following them out the door. "Hey Miller." Monty said. "You can go on ahead, we'll catch up." Miller sent him a knowing look and then walked away. Ok, this is weird, she's now alone with Harper and Monty. 

"So... I'm assuming you want to talk to me-" Clarke started until she was interrupted. 

"I'm sorry!" Monty blurted out and Harper gave him a look. "I'm so so sorry Clarke. I've treated you like crap for sooo long, I mean I don't even know how many times I treated you terribly. You're one of my best friends, my family, and I just I took you forgranted. I resented you for leaving when you left after Mt. Weather even though it was what you wanted I din't even think about how solitary could have affected you, and I was always making you make the hard choices. I-i I'm so sorry about what I said when you made the list. I understand why you did it now, but back then I was cruel and it was unfair. I'm really sorry about how I treated you in the bunker and I'm so sorry I didn't wait for you."  
  
"Monty..." Clarke started. 

"No no no don't try and comfort me, I've been a bad friend to you for far to long to you." 

"We both have." Harper pipped up. "You've been there for me for so long, I can't even count the amount of times you've saved me, and I just want you to know that I'm sorry about how I reacted when I found out about you leaving Bell, it wasn't fair and it wasn't right for me to treat you like that."   
  
"I hope you can forgive us, but you don't have to." Monty said quietly. 

"You guys..." Clarke said somewhat chocked up. "Of course I forgive you." Clarke didn't know what to say. She hadn't really thought that Monty and Harper would apolagize to her, she didn't think they had any reason to. It sounded so much worse then it actually was in her opinion. 

"You don't have to though." Harper said seriously. "We treated you terribly and I want you to know that you don't have to just say that to say it. We're going to try, and be better." Harper said softly looking at Monty when she said that last bit. 

"Be better." Clarke echoed softly. 

"And Clarke." Monty started. "If you ever-ever feel like Jasper did again, like he had the right idea." He swallowed audabily. "I want you to know that you can come to me, to both of us. I don't want to lose anyone else like that ever again. After Jasper I found books on the ark about dealing with suicide and if you ever, I mean _ever_ are considering it or anything like that, talk to me. I promise you I won't judge ok." Clarke nodded and Monty wrapped his arms around her, and Harper joined in. She was sandwhiched inbetween them, but it was good. It felt nice. 

"Well, well, well." Murphy drawled. "It's a Monty Clarke Harper Sandwich. Can I join." Murphy said wiggling his eyebrows. Monty pulled back and narrowed his eyes at Murphy. 

"Never." he said. 

"I am offended Monty." Murphy said in mock outrage. 

"Shut up John." Emori quipped.

"You too Emori, how could you." Emori just rolled her eyes and made her way over to Clarke. Oh god is Emori going to apoligize as well. 

"Clarke." Emori started. Clarke was about to interrupt her but Emori held up a hand. "I know were not the closest, but I want you too know that I'm so greatful for you. You've saved my life so many times. You injected yourself with nightblood for me, you gave me your suit, you sacrificed yourself so I could live. I just want you to know that you've got a friend in me allright." She said. 

"Thanks Emori." Clarke said. 

"Of course." Emori responded clasping her arm. Clarke was so glad Emori didn't apologize to her because she was never really mad at her. She and Emori hadn't ever really been close, and she had always been nice to her. The two of them caught up to Monty, Murphy, and Harper chatting the whole way there. Murphy swung an arm around her shoulder and Clarke glared at him. 

"You annoy me." She deadpanned. 

"Clarke how could you, after I've been so nice." Clarke just rolled her eyes but let him keep his arm on her shoulder. 

"Us coakroaches got to stick together you know, were two peas in a pod." Emori just rolled her eyes at him. 

"God I don't know how you could become anymore annoying." Harper groaned. At that Murphy grinned evilly. 

"Clarke and Murphy. Clarke and Murphy. The dynamic duo. The dynamic duo. Clarke and Murphy. Clarke and Murphy. Two-oo-oo Coak-a-roaches. Two-oo-oo Coak-a-roaches." Murphy sang. Monty covered his ears. 

"Make it stop." He groaned, which just made Murphy sing loader. 

"Clarke." He said pausing. "It's _Clarke_ and Murphy the dynamic duo, not Murphy and Murphy." He whined. "You need to sing it with meeeeee." 

"Clarke would never do that, she wouldn't subjugate me to that torture." At that Clarke raised an eyebrow and smirked evilly locking eyes with Murphy. "Right?" Monty paused when she didn't respond. "Clarke...?" Monty questioned. Murphy nodded subtly towards her and then they both starting singing. 

"Clarke and Murphy. Clarke and Murphy. The dynamic duo. The dynamic duo. Clarke and Murphy. Clarke and Murphy. Two-oo-oo Coak-a-roaches. Two-oo-oo Coak-a-roaches." They both sang. 

"I thought you were better then this." Harper said shaking her head sadly. 

"You too are like the annoying pair of siblings that everyone collectively hates" Emori said deadpanned. 

"You don't hate me Emori." Murphy said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Ewwwww." Clarke whined. 

"Shut up annoying little sister." Murphy quipped. 

"Heyyyyyyyy, I am not the annoying little sister, you are." Monty chocked on a laugh. 

"Excuse me, _annoying little siste_ r." Murphy said scowling at her. 

"Are you talking to yourself." Clarke quipped. "Because _you're_ the annoying little sister." 

Murphy scowled at her, and the 5 of them laughed and talked all the way to the meeting room. 

Bellamy was waiting in the meeting room for Monty, Harper, Emori, Murphy, and Clarke. It was a tense atmosphere. Miller had got here a little bit ago and said that they would be here soon, but it was awkward in the room. Everyone had kind of kept to their self. Nobody really knew what Clarke was gonna say, it was just weird. On top of it everyone was mad at each other. He heard laughter echo in the hall and then the door opened and everyone straightened. The five of them walked in, smiling. Clarke had a big grin on her face, and it was nice. Bellamy couldn't even remember the last time she had smiled like that. He wanted her to keep smiling like that. _He_ wanted to make her smile like that. Clarke eyes scanned the room and the smile dropped from her face, the mood turning more serious. 

"Ok." Kane said clasping his hands together. "Lets get started, since everyone's here."

"Shouldn't we wait for heda." Echo said, and Bellamy winced. Madi was just a kid.

" _Madi"_ Clarke emphasized. "Is not coming." Echo narrowed her eyes. 

"Madi is _heda_ she should be here." Echo retorted. Everyone's eyes in the room were darting between them. 

"Madi is not the commander anymore and never should have been in the first place." Clarke said trying to end the conversation. At that Bellamy's eyes widened. Madi wasn't the commander anymore?

"You took the flame out of her head. That is not your decision to make." Echo said sharply.   
  
"Excuse me." Clarke hissed, but Echo would not back down. "I am her _mother,_ and Madi is a 12 year old _child,_ she's a minor." Clarke said bitingly. 

"You are not in charge here, and you had no right to take the flame out of her head." Echo continued. "Did you force her to do it." At that his jaw dropped, Echo was out of control. 

"She choose to have it removed not me." Clarke said shortly. Echo scoffed. 

"Like I believe that for a sec-" 

"I took the flame out of her head." Gaia said. At that all the eyes in the room turned to her. Echo was gaping at her. "Clarke wasn't even present when it happened. Madi asked me to take it out. We never should have forced it on her, we were cruel and manipulative. It was the wrong thing to do. Madi didn't want to be commander, and she never should've been." 

"But who's going to be commander now?" Echo said. 

"Nobody." Gaia said shortly. "The rule of the flame is over." Gaia said effectively ending the conversation. 

"Right." Kane said slowly. "So... we have some things to figure out." Clarke nodded and began talking.   
  
"So first things first, we only have to Months worth of rations so we are going to need to find another food source. Monty how's the algae farm coming?"  
  
"It's alright but it won't be ready anytime soon." Clarke nodded sharply and began talking again.

"Also we need to figure out our game plan, it doesn't look like the earth will be healing anytime soon. Are we just going to stay in space, if so we need to figure out a secure way to handle having two warring groups of people living together." 

"According to my calculations it doesn't look like the earth's going to be healing until at least another 10 years... or ever." Monty said hesitantly. At that Clarke's eyes turned sharply towards him the gears whirling in her head. 

"Ok well, we need to prepare for all possibilities. The Elegius had multiple explorer ships, right?" She asked Diyoza. 

"Yep." she said popping the p. "There were 3 of them sent out us, and two ships full of scientists. We might be able to find what planet they went to by haking into there files. If we think the earth won't ever become inhabitable." 

"How long would that take, finding a planet that we could go to instead of earth?" Clarke asked. Jeez this was moving fast, another planet that just seems so crazy.   
  
"I don't know, but I'm sure you tech geniuses can find it somewhere. In the meantime are we all just going to wait here for 10 years to see if the earth can become inhabitable again?"

"We could go back into Cryo sleep." Shaw suggested. 

"How would that work?" Kane asked. 

"It depends." Shaw said. "Are we going to go in for ten years and then see if the earth is inhabitable or are we going to sleep for the amount of time it takes for us to get to a new planet, like 100 years." Clarke crossed her arms pensively. 

"We have enough rations for 2 months" Kane said. "And if we can use that time to find the other planet and set a destination and course for it that we be great. Once we find that we can go into Cryo for 10 years, and then have only us wake up so that we can decide what to do next"

"That way we can see if Earth will become inhabitable or not. If it'll take another 20 years we can just go back to sleep for another 20 years, but if lets say we figure out that the earth will never become inhabitable again then we can set our course for the new planet we find and sleep until we get there." Clarke added on. 

"That... could work." Monty said hesitantly.   
  
"But we need to figure out the logistics, like would anyone have to stay awake, we need to examine all the Cryo chambers, plus we need to find the new planet." Raven said.   
  
"Well we can do that right now. We should aim to try to figure out all this stuff in a month so that when we wake up for good we still have a month of rations, and maybe Monty's algae farm if he can get it to grow without us." Clarke said 

"I don't know if it can run without me but I'll try." Monty said.   
  
"It's better then nothing" said Bellamy .

"What are we going to do about everyone here in the meantime." asked Emori. 

"We have two warring groups of people, how are we going to get them to live together for a month?"Indra asked. 

"It might not be a month." Raven responded. "But I get your point." 

"Well we need to figure out spacing and where they're going to live. We kind of just stuck them all together in that big hall and gave them blankets and sleeping bags, but that's not going to work forever. We need to analyze the ship and figure out where all the rooms are, and split people up so they can stay in them." Raven nodded and pulled up an image of the ship and all the rooms. "Can you grab me some paper?" Clarke asked to nobody in particular. Miller nodded and grabbed a huge role of paper from a corner in the room. Clarke grinned at him.

"Ok, people in the bunker I'm going to need you to get a headcount of everyone from Wonkru who's here." Indra, Octavia, and Gaia nodded. "We're also going to need to figure out how many injured people we have. Next, Diyoza, I'm going to need you to tell me how many of your people you have, and I need both of you to identifify hostile people in your group. If there are people you know who can't be together or people who are violent we need to know who they are." Both Indra and Diyoza nodded at her and left the room getting to work. "Raven." Clarke said, and Ravens head shot up surprised at hearing her voice from Clarke's lips. "I need you to get me a birds eye view of the ship, I need you to analyze how many people you think can fit in each room, and I need you to figure out what each room is for." Clarke pointed to the screen closest to her. "Can you project the lay out of the ship right here?" 

"Of course." Raven said and an image of the ship immediately popped up. Bellamy narrowed his eyes looking between the two of them. Clarke was working with Raven but she wasn't really interacting with her, she didn't look at her and kept her eyes trained away from her, it was... weird. Clarke turned away from the sheet of paper and looked at Miller.   
  
"Miller, I'm going to need you to station guards around the storage room which is here." she said pointing to a room on the screen, "and wherever the weaponry room is." Raven highlighted another room on the screen and Clarke pointed to it. "Also, I'm going to need you guys to round up all the weapons that both Wonkru and Elegius have and put them in the armory, only guards, _who you trust,_ should be allowed to have them." Miller nodded in agreement and got to work. Clarke was brilliant at this, she truly was a natural born leader, she stepped up and into this role perfectly. Clarke stopped talking and instead started sketching out some of her plans and Kane started talking to Monty and Shaw about planets. 

"So how long do you think it'll take for you to find another planet?" Bellamy asked. His thoughts running a mile a minute. 

"It depends," Shaw said "We need to be able to figure out where in this ship they put their plans, and we need to figure out the conditions of each planet, but between me Raven, and Monty we should be able to figure it out."   
  
"If you guys are going to be working on finding the planet, who's going to be working on checking the Cyro pods?" He asked glancing at Clarke as she continued sketching something. He continued talking planet logistics until Clarke interrupted them. 

"Can you tell me which rooms people can sleep in and how many people can fit in each room?" she asked directing the question at Raven. She turned realizing she interrupted them on blushed mumbling out a sorry.   
  
"No problem princess." The familiar nickname slipping out like an instinct. Clarke froze for a second her eyes flickering up to meet his, and everyone in the room not-so-subetly-stared at them, but Clarke just looked back at her paper continuing to work, and then Raven glanced between the two of them one more time before telling Clarke which room could fit which amount of people. Eventually Diyoza and Indra came back with headcounts and lists about who couldn't be with who and who was dangerous, and they worked together figuring out who could work with who. Clarke had created a layout of the ship on the paper had room descriptions, the amount of people in the room, and which people in the room annoted all over it. She and Miller worked on figuring out gaurd patrols and which rooms were most important. She also figured out what rooms should be communal areas, and which rooms should be for sleeping. She, Emori, and Harper worked on figuring out rationing supplies and clothes. They were doing really well and ended up working well into the night. They had decided to have Wonkru and Elegius stay in that hall one more night until they would give them their room assignments. Eventually everyone retired to their room, and Bellamy realized that he never got a chance to talk to Clarke alone. 


	4. A New Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and co prepare for cryo sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I finished this early and decided to post it today! Let me know what you guys think in the comments, I really loved writing this chapter.

Chapter IV

_A New Start_

  
People had been apologizing to Clarke all the time for the last couple of days, and everyone was always glancing at her. It's not like she didn't notice Monty's concerned gazes, or Miller's furious ones when certain people entered the room. It was just- it was crazy. She thought that her friends and family and _Madi_ would hate her for forever... but they don't. Pretty much everyone had come to apologize and it was just so weird. Monty even did it multiple times! The only people Clarke hadn't talked to were Echo, Raven, her mom, and Bellamy. She knew they were trying to find her (well except Echo), and (from what she had gathered) she knew that they wanted to apologize , but she just couldn't face any of them yet. She was steadfastly avoiding every single one of them, and she knew it hurt their feelings but... Clarke sighed and put her head in her hands. 

"Clarke?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway. She turned and there Abigail Griffen stood. She had done such a good job at avoiding her. "Clarke? Clarke, honey." She said soothingly, Clarke found herself turning to look at her mother. Her mom walked over to her slowly and gingerly sat on the bench next to her. Clarke's lip wobbled as she tried to hold in her emotions. "Clarke honey, it's ok," Her mom whispered, and Clarke broke. Letting out all her emotions and she buried herself into her moms shoulder, sobbing. "I'm sorry honey. I'm so so sorry." she whispered and Clarke just grabbed her jacket pulling her closer. She missed this, she missed her mom. Clarke couldn't even remember the last time her mom had held her like this- or anyone for that matter. 

"I'm just so _tired_." Clarke whispered. Abby just held her closer, carding her fingers through her hair.   
  
"I know. I know. It's ok." she whispered soothingly. Clarke heard the door slide open and she flinched jumping back. 

"Mom?" a little voice said from the corner of the room. Clarke tilted her head and saw Madi staring uneasily at her. Shit. She quickly wiped her tears trying to soothe out her expression. She didn't want Madi to see her like this. "Are you ok? What's wrong?" she asked. God she didn't deserve such and amazing daughter. She smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring matter and opened her mouth about to talk, but instead Madi barreled over to her wrapping her little arms around her. Clarke let out a sigh, pulling Madi closer, flashing a watery smile at her own mom. Her mother continued stroking her hair, slowly fixing the tangles, and the three Griffin women sat huddled together, lost in their own world. 

Clarke was avoiding him. He was sure of it. Every time he entered a room she would find some sort of excuse to leave, and it hurt. God it hurt. The only thing that made him feel better was that he wasn't the only one she was avoiding. Raven, Echo, and her mom all got the same treatment. He, Monty, and Raven were walking down the hallway to the control room, and he paused when he heard noises coming from the hallway. He shared a look with Monty and Raven and they continued walking searching for the source of the noise. Eventually they found it. The three Griffin woman sat huddled together. Madi had her arms wrapped around Clarke and Abby was stroking Clarke's hair rubbing her back soothingly. He paused in the doorway taking in the scene, they all were. He shared a look with Monty and the three of them began to attempt to creep out of the room before one of the women noticed them. Too late. Abby turned her head just slightly and saw them. Her eyes widened slightly, but she shot them a soft smile- it seems like they were going to be fine. She tilted her head gesturing for them to leave and they got the message. They were almost out the door when Madi's gaze locked onto his. Her eyes hardened and she glared at him. Madi, it seemed, hated all of spacekru except for Murphy who she "tolerated". She also wasn't found of Abby but it looks like that was fixed. Her eyes narrowed and if looks could kill they would all be dead, especially Bellamy. Madi definetly learned that gaze from Clarke. He saw her in Madi's face, and Clarke's signature glare coming from Madi's tiny face inexplicably made him want to bust out laughing. It seemed like the girl could sense that, which just made her more mad, so the three of them escaped the room before they were skinned alive by an angry Griffin. He liked to say that hell hath no fury like a Griffin Woman scorned. 

"When Madi caught us I thought I was going to get burned at the stake." Raven whispered. 

"I feel you." Monty said empathetically. Bellamy just shook his head and the three of them continued down the hallway. 

After Clarke's breakdown, her relationship with her mother became _good_ again. She worked in the medbay with her and tried to eat one meal a day with her. It was nice. She and Madi made their way to the dining hall grabbed their rations and sat down at a table with Murphy and Emori. The four of them chatted idly until a familiar brunette placed her try next to Clarke. Clarke stiffened automatically and Murphy gazed at her trying to sense her reaction. 

"Hey you guys got room for four more?" Raven asked gesturing to herself, Monty, Harper, and Bellamy. Murphy glanced at her once more and she stiffly nodded her head at him. He turned to Raven. 

"Sure, go ahead." he replied. Raven and Harper sat down on the same bench as her, and Monty and Bellamy sat with Murphy and Emori. Madi was glaring daggers at them, but they took it in stride. She didn't know what was worse, being trapped next to Raven or across from Bellamy, who kept trying to catch her eye. The conversation continued, and it seemed like they were trying to get her to join in, but she only added noncomittal comments like "huh" "wow" "Mhm" "oh for sure" and made sure to laugh when everyone else was. Eventually she excused herself claiming that Jackson and her mom would need her in the medbay. Technically they didn't need her for another 20 minutes, but they didn't need to know that. 

After Clarke left abruptly claiming her shift was over, Bellamy sighed rubbing a tired hand over his face. He had tried so hard to engage her in the conversation, get her to talk to him, to no avail. He wanted to apologize before but he could never find her, it seemed like bombarding her at lunch with Raven and the others was his best bet. He was forced out of his thoughts when Madi started talking. 

"I don't like you." Madi said bluntly, glaring daggers at them. She leaned forwards on her elbows in an attempt to look intimadating and scowled at them. When he, Raven, Monty, and Harper sat down Madi was furious, and it was very noticable. The only people she would talk to were Murphy and Clarke, she pointedly ignored everyone else... even though he could still tell she was listening to their stories while her chin was pointed up stubbornly . 

"Ya, I figured kid." he replied.   
  
"Don't call me kid." she hissed at him, crossing her elbows and turning towards Murphy. Raven was frowning at her. It seemed like she wanted to argue, to get Madi to like her, but she caught herself realizing it was a bad idea. 

"Awww pipsqueaks got some fire." Murphy drawled, and Madi scowled at him as well, shoveling food into her mouth. "What's it going to take for you to like me kid?" at that Madi looked up sharply at Murphy. 

"I don't have a problem with _you._ " she said, "It's _them_ I have a problem with." she said gesturing towards his side of the table. Murphy blinked owlishly. 

"So I'm the favorite." he grinned. 

"Unfortunately." Madi replied shortly, and Murphy barked out a laugh. 

"Come on kid, you can't like Murphy the best, it'll go straight to his ego." Raven said teasingly. It seemed like Madi did not like Raven's joke. She turned to her. 

"Well he's much better then _you._ " Ouch. Raven looked offended. 

"Hey I know we have some problems, but can't we _try_ to get along-" Raven said. 

"No." Madi interrupted. "You're all terrible friends who treated my mom horribly her whole life, left her die on a burning planet, even though if you had waited two _minutes_ for her to arrive she could've been up there, and I hate you." she said shortly turning back towards Murphy. It seemed everyone at the table was momentarily stunned. Two minutes, they-they only needed two minutes. Raven was starting to get defensive. She always dealt with her emotions by lashing out, and Bellamy was afraid of what could happen. 

"Murphy left her too why don't you hat-" she started. 

"At least _Murphy_ had the decency to try to be a good friend to her. Don't think I forgot that he was the one that talked to her, tried to figure out what was wrong. None of you people cared. I don't think you ever cared, you were all too busy hating her." she retorted scathingly. 

"That is not true- you have no idea what we've been through-" Madi interrupted her again. 

"Yes I do. Clarke told me all about. You guys were always the hero's, you people were always saving the day, at least in her mind, but I can't help but think she got it wrong." she replied. 

"Madi..." he tried. "I'm so-"

"Don't you talk to me Bellamy Blake." she hissed, and he was taken aback by the anger and hurt in her tone. "She waited for you for so long. You don't understand what that was like, and you never will. While you people got to live it up in space she was stuck down here on a planet that just tried to kill her all the time. You don't even know how many times... I hate you. I hate that you gave Clarke false hope. I hate that she thought you cared, only for you to prove time and time again that all _any_ of you care about is yourself. I hate you. I hate you. I _hate_ you. I hate how much Clarke cares about you. I hate how many times Clarke called you on that stupid _radio._ I hate how I thought we could all be a family. I hate your stupid hair. I hate how many times she sacrificed herself for you. I hate the cabins we built for you.I hate all the stories about you. I hate the nights Clarke spent crying over you. I hate your stupid girlfriend. I hate how Clarke's already forgiven all of you, because that's just who she _is_. I hate how amazing I thought you guys would be, and how wrong I was. I hate your "spacekru" family. I hate- I hate you. I hate _all_ of you." and with that she was gone. She flew up from her seat and fled the room leaving a stunned silence in her wake. Nobody knew what to say. It seemed like he was destined to have Griffin women hate him. 

"I-i what was that?" Raven spluttered. 

"It seems like she hates you." Murphy drawled, expression unreadable. Raven glared at him. 

"Obviously." she snapped. "I- i didn't realize..." she trailed off. 

"None of us did, Raven." Harper said quietly. 

"All we can do now is be better, and hope that she see's that." Monty said, and that table fell back into silence. 

"It seems like your daughter hates "spacekru" with a burning passion." said Miller leaning against the doorway of the medbay waiting for her to respond. 

"What are you talking about, Madi loved all the stories about them, and absolutely adored them when they came down from space." she replied, somewhat confused. 

"Well she sure as hell doesn't adore them now." Clarke frowned, opening her mouth to speak but Miller interrupted her. "Ok let me tell you the story." she nodded in response. "So here I was, minding my own business grabbing my rations heading over to sit down at a table, and then I hear a little voice bluntly say I don't like you straight to Raven and Bellamy's faces. They obviously looked taken aback and Madi ignored them as she conversed with Murphy. She then revealed that she doesn't have a problem with Murphy. Raven was obviously offended that someone liked Murphy more then her so she began to argue. Madi imediately shut her down and turned back to Murphy, then Bellamy started talking and Madi proceeded to destroy him with her words, in a way only Griffins can do. Seriously it was insane, highlight of my year. Jesus their faces as she was hissing at them, gold. All that wrath in such a small body" Miller said shaking his head. Clarke did not know what to say. "I didn't really hear what she said, but-."   
  
"Madi snapped at them?" Clarke asked confused. 

"Yup" Miller replied, popping the p. "and it seems like a she did a damn good job." Clarke just shook her head. 

"I can't believe she did that, honestly, I thought I raised her with better manners." Miller just shook his head bumping her shoulder with his. 

It had been a couple days since Madi "savagely destroyed all of spacekru with the passion of a thousand suns" as Miller liked to call it, and Clarke has been pretty successful in her avoidance of Echo, Bellamy, and Raven. She only saw them at meal times when they sometimes sat with her. It seemed like that was all about to change. Clarke sat on the windowsill gazing down at the earth. It was surreal to be looking at it from above again, after spending so much time up there. 

"Hey. Can I sit here?" Bellamy asked tentavily. Clarke looked up at him and nodded, turning back to the view. The two of them sat together in silence, staring at the earth, it reminded her of the beginning. Bellamy was fidgeting with his hands, and Clarke sighed turning towards him. Bellamy took a shallow breath. Shaking ever so slightly, and Clarke frowned, a familiar crease in between her brows was forming. "Clarke." he said gruffly. He cleared his throat. "I'm-i'm so sorry." he breathed. Clarke just continued to stare at him. "For- for all of it. I'm sorry for everything. For all the crap I put you through. For making you think I don't care- I care- I care so damn much. When I thought you were dead for all those years, it-. I I'm so sorry. You're my family, and you've always been a part of it. You were the first person in my life that believed in _me._ You were always there for me when nobody else was. You forgave me when I thought I was a monster, and I'm so sorry you thought that I didn't care. I'm sorry about the flame and Madi and betraying your trust. I know it's no excuse- but I only did it because I thought it would save _you_. And I was being selfish and I didn't think and I'm sorry- but I just couldn't lose you again." He let out a shaky shallow breath, tears were forming in his eyes, and Clarke reached out, wrapping her arms around his waist. His breaths were coming in fast and shallow, and he exhaled sharply, burrying his head into her hair. Breathing her in. "I'm sorry- i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry, I- i."   
  
"Shhh." Clarke whispered soothingly running her hands down his hair. "It's ok. It's ok Bell," she continued. Bellamy pulled back slightly looking at her. 

"God I'm sorry, I came over to apologize to you- and here I am completely breaing down, i'm such a mess-"   
  
"Bellamy." Clarke said. "It's ok. It's ok. I forgive you." Bellamy looked at her his dark eyes wide. 

"You don't have to - I don't deserve it." He tried. 

"You're a good person Bellamy, you're my best friend, you've been there for me for so long-, of course I forgive you- of course I do." She whispered as Bellamy pulled her into his side breathing her in, the two of them stayed like that staring at the earth below. 

Clarke felt relieved - it was like a weight was lifted of her after she had talked to Bellamy. She had him back, sure it was a little strained at times, but it had only been one day. Plus, Clarke still had to distance herself, he had a girlfriend after all, and she couldn't let her real emotions show. She had to make sure he didn't know, she didn't want to jeapordize what they had. He loved Echo, not her. As Clarke walked to the medbay, she made a split second decision. It had been really good talking to Bellamy, she was going to talk to Raven as well. She spun around and went in the opposite direction, straight to the control room, where Raven would be. She was still avoiding her and it wasn't fair. She wanted to move on. When she entered the room, the talking stopped abruptly, and Monty kind of just excused himself.

"Clarke." Raven whispered. Clarke didn't really know what to say. She clearly hadn't thought this plan out well. 

"I miss you Raven." She said bluntly. Raven let out a shaky breath. 

"I miss you too Griffin." and with that, the two girl were hugging each other, tears streaming down both their faces. They talked for hours, about everything and anything. Raven apologized and Clarke forgave her, happy to have her sister back, because that's what Raven was. 

Things were good, for Clarke Griffin, for once in her life, nobody hated her. She had her friends, family, daughter. It was all she could want. Speaking of her daughter, Madi, still hated spacekru, and it was a little much. When she tried to talk to Madi about it, her daughter snapped at her, talking about how she couldn't understand how Clarke has already forgiven them, and Clarke explained as best as she could, and the next day Madi didn't completely ignore them, baby steps. She made her way to the control room with Madi in tow, and they began finalizing plans. Kane sat at the table, his hands clasped in front of him. 

"So," Kane began, "Raven, Monty, and Shaw did it. They cracked into the Elegius files, and discovered the new planet." At that she turned to them grinning. "I'll let them explain what they've figured out." He said smiling. 

"So," Shaw began "We found the files and it'll take 75 years to get there." Everyone sucked in a breath. "Luckily, all of our Cryo chambers can work, but we don't really know much about the planet, and we don't know if the earth's inhabatible. So... it's a risk, to go there." Clarke frowned pensively. 

"How many years would it take us to figure out if the earth can ever become survivable again?" she questioned. 

"Based on what monitors we have... we'd need 10 years of data." Monty replied. 

"So what if we go to Cryo for 10 years and stay here, and then we can haven Raven program us to have only the people in this room wake up." He said, Clarke flashed him a smile. 

"Then we can check the monitors and determine whether or not earth will become survivable again and make our decision from there." Clarke added on. 

"If we've figured out that it can become survivable in another 20 years lets say, we can just go back to sleep and wake up again then, or if we figure out it will never become survivable, we can set a course for the new planet and wake up there in 75 years." Bellamy concluded. Clarke gazed at the people in the room trying to figure out there reactions.   
  
"It's a good plan." Raven said.   
  
"Only the people in this room would be woken?" Indra questioned. Kane nodded. "Ok, I believe we should go through with this plan.   
  
"All in favor raise your hands." Kane said. Everyone rose their hands. "Ok then, it's decided. Lets go to sleep. Raven are the cryo pods ready?" 

"Yep," she replied. "I can program ours to wake us up in 10 years but everyone else is ready to go."   
  
"Ok then." Clarke said. "We can start putting people to sleep, and doing it in sections based off of their rooms. Sound good?" Everyone nodded and took off to work. 

Clarke finished entering Madi's name into her Cryo pod. She kissed her forhead soflty. "I love you Madi Griffin." she said. And the girl smiled up at her. Clarke clicked a button on the pod and Madi went through it. Clarke turned and saw Bellamy and Octavia. They seemed like they were doing better. She turned walking towards her pod, and Bellamy met her there. "See you in ten years Bell." Bellamy just hugged her, and Bellamy hugged him back only pulling away when she saw that familiar brunette, Echo. She entered her pod and it closed, Bellamy was the last thing she saw until everything went dark. Clarke's Cryo pod opened and she blinked slowly adjusting to the light gathering her surrounding. She glanced around the room and saw other people waking up. Indra was rubbing her eyes wearily... weird. The past weeks came back in a flash, and Clarke stood up stretching turning around to look at Madi. The girl was sleeping peacfully in her Cryo Chamber, and Clarke smiled softly at her placing a hand on the glass. A hand brushed her shoulder and she turned around to see Bellamy. She smiled at him as he wrapped his arm around her waist. She tensed searching the room for Echo, and saw her staring at them. She swallowed hoping Echo couldn't read what she was feeling. God. What was she doing Bellamy had a girlfriend, she couldn't go all lovey dovey on him. Bellamy it seems was oblivious, and when she reached the others she shrugged out of his embrace. His eyes flashed and she sweared he looked momentarily hurt, but what did he expect, they couldn't be what they used to be... he had a girlfriend now. The group all made it to the control room, and Bellamy's arm brushed hers burning her everyplace he touched. They eventually made it to the control room and Clarke sighed slumping into her seat laying her head on the table. 

"Clarke how are you tired you just slept for ten years." chirped Raven. 

"Shut up Reyes." she retorted. 

"That was just pathetic." Raven whined. Clarke flipped her off, and Bellamy chuckled beside her. She just groaned keeping her head on the table and Raven flopped down next to her laying her head down next to hers and they stared at eachother. Raven stuck her tongue out at her and Clarke snorted. Raven grabbed her hand and interlocked her hands with her and Clarke laughed. 

"Awww aren't you two cute." Murphy drawled, and Raven flipped him off with her other hand.

"Don't hate on us Murphy, PrincessMechanic is back baby." Raven chirped. Clarke just closed her eyes and Raven sat back up groaning. "That was fun, but I'm not a fan of laying on the table Clarke." Clarke opened one eye and glared at her. "You can stay though." Raven said laughing at her friend. Clarke sighed and closed her eyes. She felt someone play with the tips of her hair on her other side and she smiled softly. It had to be Bellamy he was the only other person beside her. She opened one eye and Raven sent her a knowing glance while Clarke's face flushed. She closed her eyes and let Bellamy continue playing with her hair. She opened her eyes again and saw Echo from the corner of her eye talking with Monty, and a wave of guilt flood through her. She reluctantly sat up and Bellamy stopped his ministrations. She rubbed her eyes wearily and layed her head on Raven's shoulder, she thought she saw a flash of hurt again in his big brown eyes, but it had to be her own brain imagining things. Eventually everyone made it in and Raven got up to go look at the data with Monty and Shaw.. 

"Noooooo. Come back." Clarke whined Raven just grinned and flashed her another knowing smile tilting her head towards Bellamy. Luckily Murphy swooped into Raven's seat so Clarke didn't have to decide weather or not to put her head on Bellamy's shoulder. Murphy just jutted his shoulder out and patted her head signaling for her to lay on his shoulder. She obliged, and she saw Murphy send Bellamy a shit eating smug grin, what was that about. Bellamy glared at him over her shoulder. 

"You've been replaced by me Reyes." Murphy drawled. "How does it feel to suck." He teased.   
  
"Fuck you Murphy, it doesn't even matter because everyone knows PrincessMechanic is far better then whatever" she gestured at them "this is." 

"No no no Raven you're wrong. Team cockroach is way better, we even have a song." Raven just scowled at him and turned back to the monitors. Clarke sighed and reluctantly sat up ,stretching her arms. She needed to be prepared for whatever they would find. Chatter filled the table as the effects of Cryo wore off. It came to an abrupt hault very quickly when an exclamation interrupted them. 

"Holy Shit!" Raven exclaimed, and Clarke tensed prepared. Bellamy swung his arm around her chair and sat up as well.   
  
"What is it?" Indra asked worridly. 

"The earth won't ever support life again." Monty said softly turning around, despair on his face. 

"Are you sure?" Diyoza sharply questioned from the otherside of the room.   
  
"Yep." Shaw said. "We analyzed the date- and it's never going to become survivable again. Indra sighed slumping in her chair. Clarke couldn't imagine what she was feeling. She couldn't even figure out her own feelings. 

"So... are we going to go to the new planet?" Clarke asked. 

"It looks like that's are only option." Kane said softly. "Can you guys set up our course and our Cryo pods?" Kane asked. Raven and Shaw nodded. "Ok then, meeting adjourned." and with that everyone dispersed leaving to process their own emotions at this discovery. 

Bellamy found Clarke on the windowsill again. Everyone was asleep, and only the people in the control room remained awake. The ship was earily quiet. He bumped shoulders with her and she smiled at him. Things were better between them, but not the same yet. They didn't have the same easy balance between them, and he couldn't help but feel like she was stilling pulling away. When he touched her or wrapped an arm around her like he used to she seemed uneasy, she oftened looked like she was looking for something, it was the little things like that, and he couldn't figure out why. She seemed fine with everyone else, she was even fine with Raven, Raven who watched Echo strangle her and did nothing. God Echo. He hadn't talked to her since that day he found out she chocked Clarke. Everyone knew they were over, even people like Niylah figured it out, it must've been pretty obvious with him avoiding her, and staring at Clarke. God, he never stopped staring at her. She was so beautiful, he was reminded of the dropship days. He couldn't imagine not being completely in love with her. She consumed his every thought, except unlike the dropship days he knew why now. He sighed looking out the window, and the two of them sat together in comfortable silence. The door slid open and Murphy slid in. He glanced between the two of them and sat on the other side of Clarke. 

"You know we did this a lot when we were in space." Murphy said, breaking their silence, Bellamy tensed. Clarke turned slightly towards him. 

"You did?" Clarke questioned.   
  
"Ya, all of us did. I found everyone at windows staring at the earth all the time, it was peaceful." Clarke hummed in response, and the door slid open again. This time Harper, Monty, and Miller slid in. Miller sat next to Bellamy, and Monty sat down next to Murphy. Harper opted for the floor and leant against Monty's legs. The door slid open one last time and Octavia quietly stepped through. He tensed but Clarke turned slightly gesturing for her to come in, that she was welcomed. She sat in front of Clarke on the floor, leaning back against her legs like Harper, and Clarke played with the tips of her hair. That picture made his heart heart, they were the two most important people in his life, well excluding Madi. He had grown to think of her as his own daughter, and it wasn't hard to do, the only downside was that she was still furious with him. He couldn't get her words out of his head. He looked back at Octavia and Clarke again. It seemed like all was forgiven between them, he wasn't even surprised, this was just who Clarke was. Even though she had forgiven Octavia, his own relationship with his sister was strained at best. She told him she loved him right before she went into Cryo and he wanted to cry. He shook his head clearing his thoughts looking at the earth for what would most likely be the last time. 

"Were the last of them." Harper said. "The last of the original hundred, who would've thought that we would be going to a new planet again." she wondered aloud. Clarke shook her head, the tips of her hair brushing his arm. 

"You guys ready." She said. 

"Hell no." Murphy replied, and she laughed softly. 

"I don't think anyone's ever ready." He replied. Clarke just hummed, and the original hundred sat together in silence thinking about their journey ahead. Eventually they made it back to the cryo pods where everyone was waiting, and the last person Clarke saw before everything went dark was Bellamy, once again. 

Clarke's Cryo pod opened and she blinked slowly adjusting to the light gathering her surroundings, she sat up and rubbed her eyes as she looked around the room. Everyone was waking up once again... this felt like weird deja vu. She walked over to Madi's pod again and glanced at her sleeping face. She looked around the room again and spotted Bellamy waking up. This time she got to him first, and she flashed him a sleepy smile which he returned. 

"Come on Bell lets go see the new planet." He grinned at her, his eyes bright, and he grabbed her hand, interlocking her fingers with his. They walked to the others and Clarke grabbed Raven with her other hand squeezing her fingers excidetly. Raven grinned in return. They all eventually made it to the window and everyone stared down at the planet below. Raven gasped and pulled her hand from clarke placing them against the window instead as she stared. Bellamy wrapped his arm around her pulling her close, and she rested her shoulder on him as they gazed down at the binary suns, and new planet. "It's beatifull." She whispered. Bellamy just squeezed her shoulder pulling her closer into him. 

"This is one for the history books." he whispered and Clarke laughed softly. 

"Our whole life has been one for the history books." she said shaking her head. "You're such a nerd Bell." She whispered, careful not to disturb the others who were in their own world as they stared at the planet. 

"Only for you princess." He whispered gruffly into her ear, and she shivered at the sensation of him so close. Eventually people began to break from their entrance and began walking to the control room once again. "Come on Clarke." He said, and they walked in silence all the way to the room, his arm still slung over her shoulder. 

Clarke flopped back into her chair, and Raven sat next to her, grasping her arm excitedly chattering about the binary suns. Bellamy sat on her other side, and she could feel his gaze on her as he talked with Monty. Eventually Kane started the meeting once again. 

"So..." he said gruffly searching for something to say. "we are now above a new planet-"

"Ya I think we all know that, we don't need a recap" Murphy interupted. 

"Right." Kane responded drily. "So we need to figure out a plan. Who's going down who's staying do we wake anyone else, that kind of stuff." Kane said. So far Kane, Abby, Murphy, Emori, Echo, Monty, Harper, Raven, Bellamy, Indra, Miller, Octavia, Diyoza, Shaw, and herself were awake. That's 15 people, more people probably wasn't wise. 

"I don't really think waking anyone else is a good idea, we should only wake people if we really need them." Clarke said. 

"I agree." Indra replied. Kane nodded. 

"Ok, so no more people. Now we needed to figure out who's going down, how we go down, what are approach is..."

"We don't need to worry about the how." Raven said. "We've got a rocket that can go down, and both me and shaw know how to pilot it. We just need to figure out who's going down."   
  
"I'm going" Clarke says. Bellamy turns to her surprised, but she starts talking before he can get a word in edgewise. "I've survived on a hostlile planet before, I've got the most recent experience out of everyone here on the ground, and I'm a medic. You have to take me down, it would be stupid not to." She says, and Bellamy shuts his mouth. 

"Ok then Clarke-" Kane began

"If Clarke's going I'm going." Bellamy interupted. She turned to him surprised. "What, you don't get to have all the fun princess." he said in response to her look. Clarke just shook her head, and Kane nodded as if he expected nothing less from Bellamy. 

"Of course, so Bellamy and Clarke are going, who else?" 

"I'll go." Monty said. Harper nodded. 

"Me too." Harper said. "We've both got valuable skills that will help down their." 

"I'll pilot the ship, so I'llgo." Shaw said. Raven frowned, and Emori and Murphy shared a look.   
  
"Me and Emori are also gonna go." Murphy said. "I wouldn't want to miss the fun." 

"Ok so, Bellamy, Clarke, Monty, Harper, Emori, Murphy, and Shaw are all going down." 

"We should bring our best fighters." Echo pipped up frowning. Clarke frowned at her. 

"I agree, but we don't want to fight our way through this, we should strive for a peaceful option, use none lethal weapons, and guns only as a last resort." She said frowning at Echo.

" I agree with Clarke." Monty said. "We need to do better." She nodded at him, greatfull for the support. 

"Fine, but I should still come down with you, you need someone who can figh-" 

"No." Bellamy said interupting her. She frowned at him, they did need a fighter, but Bellamy's gaze was unrelenting. 

"Bellamy..." Echo started. 

"No. You should stay on the ship, someone else can go." He said gruffly. Oh. Clarke realized. He didn't want her to get hurt, that's what this was about. God, he must really love her. Clarke felt a surge of jealousy flash through her. Everyone else in the room kept glancing at the two and their weird energy. She shook her head clearing her thoughts. Unbeknownst to her, the real reason Bellamy didn't want Echo to come was because of what she did to Clarke, and everyone in the room but Clarke knew. 

"I'll go." Indra said interrupting the weird stand down between the two. 

"Me too." Miller said, and Kane nodded. 

"I'd like to go as well." Octavia said from across the room, and Echo frowned at her. Clarke nodded her head at her, and Kane caught her approval. He sighed. 

"We need to be peaceful Octavia, you can't just shoot at anything in your way." The remark looked like it stung Octavia, but she nodded all the same.  
  
"I know." she said. 

"Kane I think you should stay." Clarke said interupting the two of them. At that everyone turned to her surprised, everyone had kind of just assumed he would becoming. "Think about it." She said. "We need a diplomat up here, to back us up, and with me Bellamy, and Indra all down there, we need someone else up here. What if they contact you and want to make a trade, or they kidnap us... or-"

"I see your point." Kane said albeit relactantly.

"I also think Raven and my mom should stay." at that both women turned to her annoyed. "Look we already have a medic and a pilot on the ground, me and shaw, you guys need to be here. What if we need someone to fly down and both of our pilots are on the ground. What if people get hurt on the ship or get hurt on the ground and I'm dead" Bellamy sucked in a harsh breath but she continued. "and we need Raven to pilot my mom down..."

"You're not going to die." Murphy interupted, Bellamy nodding along to.

"We have to be prepared for anything." she said frowning.

"Well don't prepare for that because you are not dying." Bellamy said gruffly. Clarke didn't know what to say so she just sighed turning around.

"So, Raven, Mom, you good with staying here." both women nodded and Clarke turned to Echo "and Echo" Bellamy tensed when she said her name... weird. "it's probably a good thing your staying as well." Echo glared at her, and Clarke hastily tried to explain herself."What if these people on the planet try to take over our ship, we need good fighters here to protect it." she said. Echo finally nodded accepting what she said. "Actually," she said turning, "You should probably stay as well O, we have enough fighters on the ground, we need someone we can trust up here. Either you or Indra should stay with the ship, just in case." Clarke said. Octavia turned to Indra and something in her gaze made Indra speak. 

"I will stay up here." Indra said. "Incase we need to wake up members of Wonkru, they will respond better to me then Kane, Octavia, or Echo." Clarke nodded in agreement. 

"So it's settled." Kane said. "Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia, Miller, Murphy, Monty, Harper, Emori, and Shaw will all go down." Kane said. 

"The original hundred, plus Emori and Shaw." Murphy said, and with that everyone dispersed, getting ready to leave. 

"Mom, Raven." Clarke said. "Incase anything happens to me down their, I want you to take care of Madi-"

"Clarke _nothings_ going to happen to you." Raven interupted, worry on her face. 

"But just in case." she tried. 

"I promise ok" Raven said looking at Abby, "We both do, but nothing is going to happen, do you hear me. Nothing" She said gripping Clarke's shoulders. Clarke exhaled in relief, Madi would be ok. 

"Ok." she said softly, and Raven let her go. 

Clarke buckled up, holding her radio in one hand, her other hung losely at her side. Ravens voice came on the intercom in the ship "Ok everything's set whenever you're ready shaw." Shaw nodded and she braced herself. A warm hand interlocked her fingers with theirs, Bellamy. She looked at him and mouthed together, and he did it back squeexing her fingers slightly. She smiled and prepared for take off. 

"3. 2. 1." Shaw said, and then they were off. She gripped his hand tightly and squeezed her eyes shut until they eventually made it down to the ground. She relectantly let go of Bellamy's hand and unbuckled herself stretching. She caught Octavia's eye and grinned. The girl smiled back at her, curious. Bellamy made his way to the door. 

"Stop." she commanded and everyone turned to her, worried. "The air could be toxic." Murphy let out a laugh, Harper whispered an oh my god under her breath, Monty shook his head, and Miller whistled. Bellamy grinned at her grabbing her hand, pulling her towards him. She grabbed Octavia's and Bellamy grabbed Miller's who grabbed Monty's... until everyone was holding hands, it was cheesy but she loved it.

"If the airs toxic were all dead anyway." Bellamy eventually said smiling, as he pressed the button to open the door. They collectively all stepped out, she caught Octavia's eye and then the rest of the delenquints, they all stepped onto the ground and through their hands up in an Octavia esque manner. 

"We're back bitches" they yelled, disolving into laughter. Shaw and Emori just looked at each other, confused. Murphy grabbed her arm and twirled her around, she eventually let go and ran into Bellamy. She placed her hands on his chest to brace herself and she grinned up at him laughing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what'd you guys think! Let me know, also do you think I should continue this story to the end of season 6 or end it here/or in 1 chapter, let me know in the comments! I love getting feedback, it makes my day.


	5. Welcome to Sanctum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and co explore Sanctum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked writing this chapter, especially the end. Let me know what you guys think in the comments! Also major trigger warnings this chapter. Clarke deals with some suicidal thoughts.

Chapter V

_Welcome to Sanctum_

Bellamy's heart was practically beating through his chest. Clarke's hands were on him, and she was staring up at him, beaming. He just wanted to lean down and kiss her, it would be so easy to just close the distance between them. She took a step back from him and he felt it like an ache in his side, but she just smiled sheepishly at him tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Eventually everyone calmed down and they got serious again. They wandered through the woods, and eventually found a lake. Murphy wasted no time in stripping and wading into the water. Clarke frowned at him. 

"You know when we first got to the ground O got in the water just like you and almost got eaten." She yelled to him. Murphy it seems was ignoring her and just kept swimming. 

"Live a little Clarke, the waters fine." Clarke rolled her eyes and continued talking with Harper and Monty. She was also periodically checking in on her radio, but they still had no connection. Eventually they tired out and created a campfire for the night. Bellamy sighed as he stretched his legs leaning against a log. Clarke was sitting on a log with Harper at her feet. She was braiding her hair and Harper was telling her stories. O had her head on Clarke's shoulder as she leaned on her, listening to Harper. 

"And then Monty threw the algea at Murphy-" she said laughing. The three girls erupted into giggles and Murphy scowled at them from where he sat. Emori stroked his hair soothingly. 

"Aww you poor baby." she cooed and Murphy just frowned. 

"Stop making me look bad Harper." Murphy said scowling, and the two of them argued back and forth. He glanced back at Clarke and her hands had stilled. Harper turned to her. 

"Clarke?" she questioned. 

"It's an eclipse." Clarke said looking up. She frowned pensively, and then stared at the jar on the floor with the bug in it. "Look at the bug, don't you think that's weird." It was quite weird to be honest, the bug just kept hitting the glass as if trying to go somewhere.It had become violent.

"Somethings wrong." Shaw said. Clarke nodded standing up, everyone else followed in suite, grabbing their packs. Octavia turned slightly and let out a gasp. She pointed a shaky finger at a swarm of bugs rushing towards them at a high speed. 

"What the hell is that." Emori whispered. 

"Run!" He yelled. "Get to the beacon NOW!" Bellamy grabbed Monty's arm and they fled, searching for shelter. 

"Holy fucking shit, do we seriously have to worry about physco bugs now-" Murphy shouted as he ran. The bugs were getting closer. 

"Use the flares!" Bellamy yelled. Murphy nodded and pulled them out. The fire seemed to draw the bugs back. They spotted a tower in the distance and they ran for it, the bugs got zapped when they tried to go through. 

"It's some sort of radiation fence." Monty said. 

"Shaw!" Clarke screamed. Shaw had fallen he was screaming as he was zapped. "NO!" she screamed. He saw her eyes flicker to something on the tower. Bellamy realized what she was about to do. His eyes widened, and Clarke ran to Shaw.

"Clarke get back! Get back!" he screamed. Murphy and Miller grabbed him holding him back. "No let me go." He grunted struggling. "Clarke!" he yelled. She glanced back at him for a second. Before dropping to Shaw. She dragged him away from the tower. 

"Guys." Murphy said. "We need more flares." Bellamy turned slightly and more bugs were coming. 

"Clarke?!" Octavia yelled. Shaw whispered something to Clarke and her eyes flickered to something on the tower. She ran back through and screamed as some of it hit her. 

"Clarke hurry!" Emori yelled batting off the bugs. Clarke was typing something in on the monitor, the radio tower lights flickered blue, she must of disabled it. Clarke turned towards them again.

"It's down run!" she yelled, and they did. He ran through the fence as fast he could, Clarke turned back to the tower, and turned the fence back on, and then she dropped down towards Shaw. 

"Shaw." she whispered tears streaming down her face. "I-I i'm so sorry" 

"It's... ok" He chocked out his breathing coming fast. "Tell-tell Raven." he groaned. "Tell Raven she deserves hap-happiness." he gasped. "You all-all do." and then he stilled. His eyes shutting. Clarke wiped her tears quickly. 

"We need to bury him." She said softly. Bellamy nodded. 

"Of course." he said, and then they got to work. Clarke covered his face, and they dug in the ground. Right next to a field of flowers. Murphy got two logs and tied them together, making a cross. He and Monty etched Shaw's name into. Miller picked him up and they slowly lowered him into the ground. 

"Yu gonplei ste odon." Clarke whispered. "May we meet again." She said as she pushed the final peace of dirt over him. Clarke sniffled again, and stood up. The group continued to walk in silence, a somber mood upon them. 

"Look." Harper said pointing at a castle at the top of the hill. They eventually made it there, and Bellamy was surprised to find the place deserted. 

"There's nobody here." Harper said, confused. She was right, this place was a ghost town. 

"Be careful." he ordered. They nodded at him and slowly began to search the place. He followed Clarke into what looks like a school. She gasped as she entered the room. 

"Look at this place Bell. It's a school." she said her eyes bright. Bellamy grinned at her. "I wish Madi could've had this." He glanced at her nodding. 

"I wish Octavia could've." She looked up at him again, eyes filled with wonder. 

"I wonder where they all went." she said as she picked up a book, flipping through the pages. She frowned, a familiar crease forming between her brows. 

"Bell." she said softly. "This is a weird nursery ryhme." He frowned at her. 

"Ok... so?" he asked.

"Listen to this." Clarke said. "It says that once the stars align, and the forest wakes, it's time to run away, and this book is called Red Sun Rising. Bell, were under a red sun, why would they-" She was interupted by a scream. They locked eyes and ran out the room. 

"What's going on!" he yelled. "Is everyone alright." He turned and Emori was attacking Murphy. He grabbed her, pulling her back. 

"What the hell!" Octavia yelled turning to Emori. Clarke was frowning. 

"Octavia wait!" she said, and O stopped in her tracks turning to Clarke. "Bellamy, the book wasn't a nursey rhyme. It was a warning." 

After she explained that Emori turned violent during the red sun in a manner similar to what's depicted in the "Red Sun Rising" book, and how she thought something in the air was doing this, they collectively decided to lock themselves up. That was why there were so many chains everywhere. She locked herself up in a room with Bellamy, Murphy, and Octavia. They sat in silence, Murphy was tapping his foot impatiently. All of a sudden they heard screaming. She turned to Bellamy. 

"Bell." she said. "We have to help them." Bellamy looked at a loss. 

"No." Octavia snapped. "You can't go out there you'll just end up getting yourselves killed." She hissed. Clarke sent her a pleading look, but Octavia would not budge. THey heard more screams and she struggled in her bonds. 

"Bell. I have to help them. Give me the keys." Bellamy just shook his head. Miller was screaming again, and Bellamy sighed unchaining himself and Clarke. 

"Hey." Octavia yelped. "Are you just going to leave me here." she hissed. Clarke glanced at her. 

"O we can't have too many people unchained. Octavia glared at her, but reluctantly agreed. Murphy just sighed. 

"Be safe." he said. She nodded sharply and then headed to Miller's cabin where he and Monty were chained up. When they entered the cabin her eyes imediately jumped to Miller's screaming form. 

"He's hallucinating." Monty said, Clarke nodded. "I know how to help him, unchain me." Monty said. Bellamy obliged taking out the keys. Monty spun around grabbing a knife. 

"Bellamy!" She yelled shoving him out of the way. Monty growled and stabbed Miller in the arm. "Shit!" she yelled. "Knock him out! Knock him out" she yelled. Bellamy grabbed a tranq and stuck it in both Monty and Millers neck. 

"Clarke! Bellamy!" Octavia yelled. She turned to Bellamy with wide eyes and they ran. 

"Octavia!" Bellamy yelled. He ripped the door open searching for her, her eyes were wild and she was shaking. 

"Murphy's escaped! He took all the guns." she said groaning. "Go!" she ordered. "Before you both go crazy." she said and then her eyes clouded over, and she started hallucanating. Clarke grabbed Bellamy arm, and pulled him out of the room. She ran and then Bellamy stopped and started banging and Emori and Harper's door. Her eyes widened as she realized that this wasn't Bell anymore. Clarke turned around inching away from him slowly. 

"Bell." she said warningly. "Calm down, we don't need to-"

“Maybe you haven’t noticed Clarke, but I don’t need you anymore.” Bellamy snapped. She reared back as if she had been slapped. Bellamy was stalking closer to her, pure hatred in his eyes. Suddenlt someone was shooting at them. She looked up to see Murphy, and then she and Bellamy ran in opposite directions. Everything was starting to spin, she felt dizzy, and sick. The radio crackled on the table, and her mother started to speak.

"Mom?" she questioned her voice shaky 

"Clarke? Honey." Clarke let out a sigh of relief at her mom's voice. "Clarke you're a danger to everyone. Everyone hates you. All you do is kill. You're a disease. We need to wipe you out before you can hurt anyone else." Her mother said. She was right. She was a disease if she was just out of the picture everyone would be all right. She held the knife up to her neck her hands shaky as tears leaked out her eyes. "Good job." her mom said. "Now just pull through. You can do it." her mom said encourangigly. Then her voice turned dark. "Clarke you don't want anyone else to die right. So just do it- do it." She pressed her knife and then-

"Clarke!" Murphy yelled. His hands up. "Put the knife down." he ordered. 

"NO! no I have to do this, I can't hurt anyone else." Murphy muttered stuff under his breath.

"OK crazy, but first you need to help me save Bellamy." Bellamy was in trouble? She could save him and then kill herself. She glanced at the radio, and made her decision. Save Bellamy, then die. She nodded and then she and Murphy left searching for Bellamy. All of a sudden she was knocked over. "Clarke!" Murphy yelled. Bellamy punched her in the stomach and she screamed, gasping for air. 

"I don't need you anymore!" he roared. Murphy charged into him knocking Bellamy over, and Clarke sat up gasping. 

"Clarke." her mother said again. "Just do it. Die. We don't need you anymore." Clarke found a gun on the floor and held it to her temple. "Pull the trigger Clarke." She was interupted by Murphy's scream as Bellamy through him to the ground. Clarke fired the gun in the air, and Bellamy turned to her running. He grabbed her and knocked her to the floor, as he chocked her. She gasped clawing at his hands. Murphy got him again and Bellamy dunked him in the water, drowning him. Murphy was gasping for air, and then Clarke through a gas grenade knocking them both out. She dragged them to shore, and then collapsed as everything went dark . 

She woke up to people hovering over her. 

"Clarke!" Raven yelled. She groaned sitting up. She looked over and saw Bellamy staring at her neck, his eyes wild. Her memories came flooding back, and she grabbed his hands, showing him that she was ok, that she wouldn't hold a grudge. He looked at her with wide eyes. She was ripped from her grasp as her mother hugged her, checking her for injuries.   
  
"Clarke." she said worridly. "What happened?" Clarke just groaned and turned to Murphy who was still unconcious. All of a sudden a bunch of people crowd around her. A man starts ordering people to leave as he charges in with a guard behind him. She turned a Murphy began chocking. 

"Murphy!" she yelled. She turned to the new people. "He's dying." she heard Emori let out a chocked sob from behind her, but she ignored her. "Help him. _Please_. " The man turned to look at her. 

"It's to late." He said.   
  
"No." Bellamy whispered. The man continued to talk. 

"But death is not the end." he said. The man snapped his fingers. "Cillian!" he ordered, another man came rushing over. He knelt down above Murphy, and opened his bag to reveal a snake. He took the snake and it bit Murphy's arm, sucking out the toxins. Murphy gasped and opened his eyes, taking in the scene. Emori through her arms around him. The leader stood up. 

"Guards." he ordered. "Lock them up." Clarke turned to him with wide eyes. 

"No!" she cried. "wait we didn't do anything." but her pleas fell to deaf ears as she was dragged away. They were put in a tavern and Clarke assesed the group with her. Murphy was sitting with Emori, his head in her lap. Monty was talking to Harper and Miller. Octavia was pacing, so was Kane, and Bellamy was glaring at Echo. Her mother was rubbing Raven's back. Shit. Raven, god how was she going to tell him about Shaw. "Raven..." she started, and Raven looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes. Clarke cleared her throat. "Shaw-" Raven interrupted her. 

"I know. I- we found his grave." Clarke gazed at her, concerned. 

"His last words were telling you that you deserve happiness." Clarke said softly, and a few tears slipped down Ravens cheek. Clarke made her way to her, and wrapped her arms around her. Raven leaned into the embrace and then pulled away hastily wiping her tears. "Raven-" She was interupted by the door opening. Clarke stood imediately, shooting Raven one last look, as she scrambled to the door, Bellamy right behind her.

"Welcome!" a man said. "I heard you survived the red sun, if so you need a drink." the man said kindly. She shared a glance with Bellamy, and smiled at the man, grabbing one. She took a sip and her eyes widned. 

"uhh, wow this is really good." she said. The man grinned, and the girl turned to her smiling.

"Thank you," she said. "We call it Jo juice-" 

"Delilah." a woman who looked liker her mother snapped. Delilah just rolled her eyes and continued talking. " for Josephine prime." Clarke shared another confused look with Bellamy, who shrugged. "Hallowed be here name." Delilah continued. "Hallowed be her name." echoed the rest of the people. Kane and Indra shared a look with her. They sounded... like a cult or something. Octavia's eyes met Clarke's and she gave her a look that just said _what the fuck._ Clarke shrugged turning back to Delilah. 

"It's probably none of our business." Clarke started. "But what's a prime?" The newcomers shared a look and Delilah began to talk. 

"Sanctum was colonized by a group of people from earth by a team from earth made up of four families" she paused. "the primes. Their blood rules us still." She didn't get what Delilah said, but before she could ask the doors opened again. 

"Make way for the primes." the guard said, and the man from earlier walked through the doors. 

"Which ones the pilot?" The man asked. Someone pointed to Raven and Raven stood. The gaurds walked over as if to take her but the man interupted them. "Stop." he commanded "Did I say to take her?" The gaurds apologized and moved back. Clarke stepped up to him 

"Look." she began "If this is about what happened on the mothership. Your people stole our transport and then boarded us by force. My people were just defending ourselves-"

"Lies." the woman from earlier interupted. "She wasn't there, we hurt no one." The man turned to her. 

"What's your name?" he asked. 

"Clarke Griffin." she replied. "What's yours?" 

"He is Russel Lightborn seventh of his line savior of sanctum and you will bow before using his name." someone interupted.

"I don't think so." Clarke replied. The womans eyes narrowed, but the man, Russel, interrupted her. 

"My wife's a stickler for protocol, but she knows you can't observe customs that you're unaware of. You have questions, understandably, adn we'll get to them all but first we need your transport ship to be flown down into Sanctum, you can land in one of the lower feilds." Russel said. 

"Why?" Kane interupted 

"What's out their?" Her mother asked of Russel. Clarke turned back to him. 

"There are worst things in this world then eclipse induced psychosis." Russels wife said "All of them are outside the sheild and the worst of them would love to get their hands on the weapons Kaylee says are on your ship." 

"Why are we asking for permision." Kaylee interupted. "My _family_ is on that ship." Russel turned to her. 

"Which is why you'll be on the team sent to retrieve them." He responded. Kaylee splutured but agreed. Clarke turned to her mom who was signiling towards her. 

"Madi is on the transport ship." Her mother whispered. 

"What?" She said, drawing the attentions of others in the room "You woke her?" Clarke asked

"Shh." Her mother whispered noticing the eyes on them. 

"Nevermind," she said "Raven will fly the ship." she said pleading to her with her eyes. Raven nodded, determined. "But were going to." she said to Russel. 

"Fine." Russel said. "Choose your most disposable people." She stepped up imediately."You don't strike me as disposable." Russel said. Clarke frowned. 

"None of us are." she retorted. "But my child is out there, so I'm going to get there." She turned but Russel interrupted her. 

"Please," he began. "We have things to discuss. Are you the leader of your people or not?" She hesitated not knowing what to say but Bellamy stepped up from behind her sending her a reassuring glance. 

"She is." he said, "She can speak for us." 

"Good." said Russel "You can escort your people to the steps, the rest of you can remain here, well cared for." He said turning to everyone in the room, and then he was gone. They eventually decided on a team consisting of Raven, Echo, Jackson, and Indra. Everyone else would remain here. After her team left for the transportship, Russel invited Clarke to dinner to talk over their agreement. Clarke turned to Bellamy, but Delilah interupted her. 

"Come on." she said to Clarke. Clarke turned to her confused. Delilah laughed. "You're dining with the _primes_ you have to get ready, you can't look like this." she said gesturing at Clarke. Clarke glanced down at her outfit, it was practical. Delilah noticed her stare and hastily said, "Not that anythings wrong with what you're wearing, you just need to wear fancier stuff with the primes." and with that Delilah dragged her off. Clarke shared a helpless look with Octavia who laughed at her discomfort. She stuck her tongue at her and Bellamy laughed calling out to her. 

"Wow. Clarke, real mature." She rolled her eyes, and let Delilah drag her away. She eventually came back down the stairs wearing a light pink aysemetrical pink dress, that flattered her figure. Clarke walked down the stairs and everyone stared. She looked around somewhat self conciously. Miller smirked nodding his head approvingly, and Monty tilted his to the side.

"What?" she questioned at everyones stares, "It's just a dress." Murphy whistled and Clarke glared at him. 

"Awww the Princess looks like a real Princess." he said

"Shut up Murphy." she said in response. 

"Ignore them" Octavia began, she was standing next to Bellamy, it looked like the Blake siblings reconciled. "You look hot." she said. Clarke rolled her eyes again.

"You look beautiful honey." her mom said smiling, and Clarke groaned.

"Mooom" she whined. Harper walked over towards her, and grinned. 

"I _so_ want that dress." she said laughing. Clarke smiled 

"It's not mine, Delilah gave it to me to borrow." she turned to the girl. "Thank you." Delilah nodded in response. Someone cleared their throat behind her and she turned to see Bellamy rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. A light blush coating his cheeks. 

"You uhh you look really pretty." he said. Octavia looked like she was holding back a laugh, but Clarke grinned, blushing slightly. 

"Thanks Bell." she said. Delilah interrupted whatever that was and said she was going to be late, Clarke nodded in thanks to her once again, and took off. 

"Smooth." Murphy drawled once Clarke was gone. 

"Shut up Murphy." he snapped. Octavia elbowed him. 

"Come on big brother... you _like_ her." she teased. Bellamy rolled his eyes, now that they had reconciled Octavia had taken every available moment to point out his feelings for Clarke. She claimed that they should've gotten together ages ago, and harped on and on about how he never should have been with _Echo_. He found himself agreeing with her, but he would never tell her that. It's not like he didn't know he liked her like that- he _loved_ her, he just didn't know what to do about it. Harper interrupted him from her thoughts. 

"But seriousley Bellamy. When are you going to do something." Harper said. Monty nodded his head. 

" I've been waiting for mom and dad to get together since forever." Monty added on. Bellamy rolled his eyes at the dropship nickname. 

"On a serious note though." Octavia began. "She's not going to wait forever. You better make a move before someone else snatches her up." Bellamy frowned at that. 

"I for one." Kane began. Oh dear lord, Kane was getting involved. "thought that you two were inevitable, but she's not going to wait forever son." Kane said clapping him on back. Abby just smiled at him. 

"I don't know if you need to hear this but, I approve." Bellamy just groaned, and everyone laughed at him. 

Clarke made her way to the dining hall. It was filled with lavish decorations, and the food looked very fancy. Clarke didn't even know what to eat first. Russel laughed at her wonder and pointed out his favorite dishes. She thought the dinner was going pretty good so far. She was still somewhat suspicous of them, but maybe it was just her paranoia taking.   
  
"So." Russel began. "How did you get here." Clare cleared her throat. 

"Well, there was a war between two groups of people on earth, which lead to it's destruction once again. Thankfully, me and some others were able to rally a group to space, in order to survive." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie. Russel nodded curiously. 

"Clarke." he began. "I want to be honest with you, I don't know if I can trust you. I have to keep the safety of my people in mind." Clarke's heart sunk. "I will allow your people a couple days here in Sanctum, and then I'm afraid you will have to leave." Her eyes widnend. "I'm sorry, but this is the only way to keep my people safe." Clarke nodded and they left the dinner table. Russel procceeded to show her the grounds, and the when they got the edge, Clarke noticed someone grab a little girl. She imediately took off after, and Russel noticing her gaze got gaurds. She grabbed the little girl, and pulled her behind herself, dodging the introders attack. She screamed as the man's sword grazed her side. She grabbed her side and continued protecting the girl until Russels gaurds came as back up. Russel ran to her. 

"Clarke!" he yelled, his eyes widened as he noticed the blood. "Get Cilllian." He sapped at a gaurd. He then knelt down at the girl, Rose, and sighed. "Thank you." he said to her as the gaurds escorted the little girl away. "You saved our little Rose, and because of that I will allow your people to stay in Sanctum for as long as you want. We can even try to help you build for the others on your ship." he said, and Clarke's eyes widened. 

"Thank you." she whispered, and then someone scooped her up as they entered inside. 

The doors to the tavern slid open and people came rushing in. "Oh my god." Abby whispered horrified. Bellamy turned. No. Clarke hung limp in some random guards arms, blood trailing down her side, staining her beautiful pink dress. 

"Clarke!" He shouted pushing through the crowd. He turned to see Russel who was gazing at her blood. "What. happened." he ground out. The man turned to him, and Clarke smiled weakly at him. 

"Clarke Griffin is a hero in Sanctum, she was very brav-"

"Ya we know, she's always brave." Murphy interrupted "Get to the point." he hissed impatiently. Russel frowned, but continued. 

"As I was showing Clarke the grounds she noticed a disturbance. A child of gabriel was trying to kidnap our Rose." at that Russels wife gasped whispering out a horrified no. "Clarke Griffin acted bravely defending and protecting Rose with no weapons as I called for back up. She took a knife to her side for her, and we will forever be greatfull. Because of that we would like to offer up Sanctum as a home and place for you to stay for as long as you want, we will even help you build a place of your own for the people on your mothership. Are only wish for now is that you hesitate on waking up more people, as we won't have space for them yet." And with that Russel ended his speach, he strood out the room his guards behind him, and nodded at Clarke, who smiled weakly back at him. 

"I did it." she said. Bellamy just glared at her.

"You defended that kid with no weapons." Raven said annoyed, "You could've gotten yourself killed Clarke." Clarke frowned. 

"Raven you got back from your mission? Where's Madi?" she asked ignoring what Raven had said completely. 

"Right here." a small voice pipped up. Madi stepped over to Clarke and held her hand. 

"Don't worry Mads it looks wayyy worse then it is, It was only a graze." Octavia turned to look at the doctor.

"No offense, but I don't trust your judgement Clarke." Octavia said. "How bad is it really." The doctor, Cillian, turned to her. 

"Actually, Clarke's right. Most of this is superficial, the actual wound isn't bad at all. She should be better by tomorrow morning, all she needs to do is change her bandages every hour and a half and put this ointment on it." He said handing Clarke a bottle as she sat up. "If she does that, the wounds should be all healed by tomorrow, she didn't even need stitches." Bellamy sighed in relief, but Clarke looked curiously at the doctor.

"Really?" she asked. "It'll be all healed by tomorrow, that's very fast, your medicine must be very advanced." she asked, her eyes alight with wonder. 

"Sanctum has lots of resources, and are medical achievements are great, I'd be happy to show you some of the stuff we've achieved when you've got a free moment." He said, grinning at Clarke in a manner that Bellamy did not like at all. 

"Sure!" Clarke said. "That would uh- that would be great." she said. Bellamy did not miss the covert glances everyone in his group was sending him, and he couldn't help the jealousy that was curling in him. Cillian waved at Clarke and then left the room. 

"Are you sure you're ok?" Bellamy asked. Clarke just grinned at him. 

"Yep." she said. "I'm just glad Russel allowed us to stay." 

"Me too princess." Clarke turned as if remembering something and glanced at Delilah. 

"Oh Delilah." she said. "I'm so sorry about your dress." Delilah just smiled. 

"Oh don't worry about it Clarke, I'm about to get a bunch of new ones anyway." she said smiling brightly. "Tomorrow's my naming day." she said. Her parents looked down at her fondly. 

"What's a... naming day?" Kane asked hesitantly. 

"It's a privalage, it's a day of celebration and after the ceremony there will be party, you're all welcome to come." Delilah said smiling at us. 

"Umm. Thanks." Raven said sheepishly. Delilah smiled. 

"Of course!" and with that, she was gone... retiring to her room. Octavia turned towards him, her expression serious. 

"Octavia..." Clarke said. "What's wrong?" she asked quietly. 

"They kicked Diyoza out." Octavia hissed quietly. Clarke's eyes widened."I can't leave her to the children of Gabriel, she's pregnant and alone, and when we wake up her crew they'll never listen to us if they find out we let her die." Clarke nodded

"Ok, so what do you propose we do?" Clarke asked. 

"You let me go find her." Bellamy opened his mouth as if to protest and interrupt but O ignored him and continued talking. "I can bring her back and hide her somewhere, and then when we build are own compound we can let her live there." Octavia said. 

"Are you sure?" Kane said hesitantly. 

"I'm sure." she said , a steely determined glint in her eyes. Clarke sighed. 

"Fine, but bring a radio, and stay safe Octavia." O nodded and hugged her. 

"I love you O, please stay safe and come back to me." Bellamy said. Octavia looked somewhat shocked. 

"I love you too big brother." she said as she hugged him, and then she was gone, slowly sneaking off into the night. He swallowed tightly staring after her. Clarke nudged him. 

"Octavia's smart and strong, she'll be fine." He nodded greatful to have her by his side. Eventually he relaxed and was able to enjoy the rest of his evening with his friends. It was nice, not having this time, and he loved every second of it. Eventually Madi started yawning. 

"Hmmm, seems like bed time for someone." Clarke teased. Madi groaned. 

"I'm not tired." she whined. 

"Hmm," Clarke said pursing her lips. "You seem pretty tired to me." Madi groaned. 

"Thirty more minutessss. Pleaseeee" she pouted. Clarke caved. 

"Fine, but if you're a grump in the morning, don't blame me." she said smiling softly. "I'll be right back." Madi turned to him, and he was prepared for another verbal beating. They all were, he and Raven locked eyes putting up their walls. Madi cleared her throat. 

"I've decided that I forgive you." Madi said primly surprising them all. Bellamy blinked. 

"Really?" he asked. 

"Yep." she said popping the p. "I guess you guys do care about her." She said. Raven grinned at her. "Also," Madi said "Your totally in love with her, and I guess it would be better if I didn't hate you when you eventually grow a pair and ask my mom out." Bellamy chocked on his drink, and Murphy started laughing so hard he was crying. 

"She's definetly Clarke's kid." Monty said with a wry smile. Miller just smirked nodding his head at Madi as if he condoned this. Right at that moment Clarke walked back to their table, a new drink in her hand. She sat down next time him and grinned. 

"So..." she said. "What'd I miss." 

"You're child is amazing." Murphy said in response. Clarke glanced quizically at him and smiled at Madi. 

"Well duh, tell me something I don't know. She said, and Madi beamed at the compliment. The conversation continued and an hour later, not thirty, Madi and Clarke eventually retired to their room. Everyone else kind of followed their lead and went to bed. 

Clarke awoke to Madi jumping on her bed. Clarke yawned sleepily, she didn't get that much sleep last night, because she had to keep changing her bandage every hour and a half. She covered her eyes blearily attempting to block the sunlight. 

"Clarkeeee." Madi groaned. "Come on! Let's go!" Clarke turned sleepily towards Madi. 

"Where are we going?" she asked. 

"To take a tour of Sanctum." Madi said, "And you have to get ready or you'll be late." Clarke groaned but rolled out of bed. Madi was wearing a flowy lose white sundress, and she looked adorable. 

"You look nice." Clarke said. Madi blushed, a bright pink blush setting on her cheeks. 

"It's not too much right?" She asked. 

"Of course not, it's beatiful." Clarke said. "Plus, we're going to a ceremony today anyway." Madi nodded and gestured for her to hurry up. Clarke dashed around the room, and grabbed a flowy baby blue top and blue jeans. She tied her back into a high pony tail, and the shorter pieces of her that didn't fit fell out of the ponytail and framed her face.

"You look pretty." Madi said as the two of them left the room. 

"Thanks Madi." THe two of them met the others in the hall who were all wearing similar clothes. It was weird to see everyone out of their usual armour. 

"Clarke!" Harper said waving her over. 

"Hey Harper." she said in response. 

"Come on." she said. "Were going on a tour of Sanctum, do you and Madi want to come?" she questioned. Clarke looked to Madi who nodded. 

"Sure, we'd love to." Clarke replied. Sanctum was truly beautiful, it was what Clarke had imagined earth looked like during it's prime. She grinned at the little children in the school house, hoping that one day Madi would get that. 

"Clarke!" Someone called. She turned to se Cillian walking over to her, a grin on his face. "Hey." he said. 

"Hi." Clarke returned a little hesitantly.

"I hate to pull you away, but I need to check up on your wound, I can come back at another time if that's better for you?" he said. Clarke glanced at Madi who nodded at her. 

"Uh no, now's fine." Cillian grinned and gestured for her to follow him. She sent a quick wave to her group and followed him. They eventually made it to his medbay where he uwrapped her bandage. 

"It's looking good." he said. "It's healing quite nicely." Clarke nodded at him. Cillian face turned serious for a second. "You should probably keep your black blood underwraps." he said, and Clarke frowned. He hastily tried to explain himself. "People get worshiped for it here, and it can make you a target." She glanced quizically at him. A target? What does that even mean. He smiled at her again. "Anyway, I'll take you back to your tour." Clarke nodded and followed Cillian back to her group. Harper smiled at her, but her easy grin faded slightly at the expression on her face. Raven, noticing the two glanced quizically at her, but Clarke just mouthed a _later_. She nodded and they continued there walk until they made it to the tavern. 

"Clarke?" Raven questioned. 

"Get the others to my room... but don't be suspicous, we can do it during the ceremony, they won't even notice were gone. " Raven nodded and started tapping people on the shoulder telling them what to do do. 

Bellamy frowned, apparently Clarke had ran off with the doctor during Harper's tour. That pit of jealousy was coiling and growing in his stomach- he was pulled from his thoughts when Raven tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Get to Clarke's room in five minutes, when the ceremony starts." She said as she walked by him. He frowned again, but made his way to the room. He found Clarke, Abby, Kane, Madi, Raven, Harper, Monty,Echo, Murphy, Gaia, and Indra all inside. "We're just waiting for Emori and Miller." Raven said as a greeting. He frowned but sat on a chair in the corner. Eventually Miller and Emori arrived and everyone turned to Clarke. 

"Nightblood is important here." Clarke started, and everyone immediately tensed. They did not want to have to deal with another Mt. Weather situation. "I don't know how yet, but Cillian." he flinched inwardly at how comfortable Clarke said the man's name, as if they were close. "told me to keep having black blood underwraps because I could become worshipped and I could become a target. I'm pretty sure that girl, Rose, the one I saved had black blood. It has to have something to do with the children of Gabriel." Clarke finished. 

"What do you want us to do?" Indra questioned. Clarke sighed. 

"Nothing yet, I just want everyone to know, and under no circumstances can we reveal that Madi is a nightblood." she said seriously. 

"Of course." Emori said. Clarke nodded at her. 

"What did the doctor mean by a target." Kane said. Clarke shook her head. 

"I don't know, so far nobody but the primes know about me having black blood, and I'm pretty sure they all have black blood as well, so the threat has to be from the outside. My guess is the children of Gabriel. " Everyone nodded and then eventually dispersed going there seprate ways. 

After Clarke talked to everyone about the nightblood she felt relieved. They all knew, and everyone was going to protect Madi. Clarke sighed as slipped on a blue dress, it had a low neckline that showed a little two much cleavage in her opinion, but it was very pretty. the front of the dress stopped just above her knees but the back trailed behind her. It had a pretty blue lace trim and was sleevless. She glanced at herself one last time, and kissed Madi on the cheek telling her not to worry if she got home late. The girl was already fast asleep, curled up in bed. She left her room and ventured downstairs to the party. She found Raven who was wearing a forest green pantsuit that flattered her figure, Harper was wearing a pink dress, and Emori was wearing silver. She spotted them all and they waved her over. 

"You look pretty." Raven said smiling, 

"So do you!" she replied. "I love the pantsuit." Raven grinned and offered her a drink. Clarke glanced around the room looking for Bellamy, and she eventually saw him. He was standing in the corner of the room with _Echo_. God these past few days she had forgotten that they were together, and she had sort of let herself hope- she stopped herself. Bellamy had a girlfriend she could not be doing this. Raven seemed to notice her expression faltering and turned to find her gazing a Bellamy. She pulled Clarke up and they began to dance. She couldn't even remember the last time she had this much. Fun she twirled around and then almost knocked somebody over, but thankfully someone grabbed her before she could, it was Cillian. 

"Can I have this dance?" he questioned extending his arm She glanced at Bellamy who was laughing at something Echo said, and made her decision she gingerly grabbed his hand and he twirled her around. She caught Raven's eye, and the girl winked at her, and mouthed. _Yessss, get some._ She shook her head at her friends antics but let Cillian dance with her until he eventually led her out of the party. She looked up at him and he kissed her, pushing her into the wall. She arched into his touch, it had been years since she had done this. They eventually made it to his room and they fell on his bed. When Cillian took his shirt of she couldn't help imagining Bellamy in his place. She imagined dancing with Bellamy, and then Kissing him and then- she shook her head. This wasn't fair to Cillian she couldn't be thinking about Bellamy right now. She cleared her head and let herself get lost in the sensations, and then she fell asleep tangled up in his sheets. 

Bellamy watched Clarke dance the night away with Cillian, and the jealousy that was building in him hit his boiling point. She was laughing and smiling, and it was all with Cillian. He wanted to throw his drink against the wall. His friends were gazing at him, all of them concerned, and he just wanted to punch something. Raven eventually sat down , after dancing with some random dude, and he glared at her. 

"What's your problem?" She asked. 

"What's my problem?" he asked incrediously. Raven knew he loved Clarke, and she just led Clarke straight to Cillians waiting arms. Raven frowned at him. "You knew I- i and you just led her straight into his waiting arms." he growled. Raven scowled at him, and from the corner of his eye he saw Clarke leave the room with Cillian.

"So what?" she questioned staring him straight in the eye. 

"So what? So _what_?-" he started before he was interupted.

"No." Raven said. "You don't get to do this right now. If you wanted to be with Clarke just then you should've done something about it. She's not going to wait forever, and for your information I led her to the dance floor because she was too busy staring at you and Echo. You don't get to act like this right now, it's your fault if you don't do anything about your own feeling. I watched my bestfriend frown over you and your ex and decided that for once in her life Clarke deserved to have some fun, and you do not get to condemn me for that." Raven spat angrily, and then she got up from the table and went back to the dance floor. Bellamy just swallowed bitterly and nursed his drink. 

Clarke woke up to Cillian staring out the window. It was getting late, and she should probably head back to Madi soon. She got up and wrapped the sheets around herself, and pulled the blue dress from earlier back up. She glanced at Cillian's deck and noticed a notebook with a page slipping out of it. She hesitantly picked it up and was shocked to see the faces of her friends staring back at her. Some of them had exes on them and she had a circle around herself. The realization was startiling, Cillian wasn't a good guy. He wasn't warning her- he was the one who. She picked up the paper with shaky hands and turned to him. 

"What is this?" he turned to her, and his eyes widened as he took her in. 

"Clarke." he said hastily, "It's not what you think." Her eyes burned, the one time she tried to have fun she ended up with a physco who wanted to do who knows what to her friends. She jumped back and he grabbed her she screamed but her muffled her mouth shoving her onto the bed. She rolled and elbowed him, darting towards the windows. She stopped dead in her tracks as a dart hit her back, and she fell to the floor with a thud. She was paralyzed. The doors flew open and guards flood through. She could cry in relief as Russel stepped through that door, his expression furious. 

"Guards!" he said. "Seize him!" Cillian stepped back and kneeled on the floor. He took out his knife holding it to his neck. No, she thought. She wanted to look away but she was paralyzed, her eyes stayed glued to him. 

"Death to primes!" he yelled, and then he slit his throat. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't, she couldn't even move. Russel scooped her up and they fled the room. Bellamy. Take me to Bellamy she thought, hoping Russel could understand. Instead she was brought to a dark room. A room with skeletons lined all over the place. What was happening. Russel laid her down on a medical table. She glanced around her trying to figure out where she was. She could hear Russel talk. 

"We just have to kill this one innocent girl and then we get Josie back." Clarke's eyes widened. NO. No. The realization struck her suddenly. She was wrong to trust Russel, Cillian wasn't a bad guy, he was trying to protect her, and now he was dead. She wanted to thrash to scream and kick and cry and put up a fight but she was helpless and paralyzed. Russel stalked over to her. "I'm sorry." He whispered, and a single tear slid down her cheek as everything went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what'd you think! I decided to go in the direction of season 6, but there are going to be changes. Let me know what you want to see next!


	6. Bob and Eliza

So I just wanted to say that due to all of the stuff released about Bob and Eliza. I’m going to take a break from this fandom for a little bit, and also this story. I’m so sorry to the people who have been waiting but I need time to think over the situation and decide what I want to do. I know Bellamy and Clarke are different from Bob and Eliza but that doesn’t make me feel any less betrayed. My heart goes out to Aryyn and I’m waiting patiently for Bob’s side of the story so I can fully decide what to think. I am so sorry to all my fans who’ve been waiting for an update this friday. If I do decide to continue with this story and fandom then you can expect an update by around Wednesday. I hope everyone stays safe and healthy. Please please please leave comments about ur own thoughts and feel free to ask me questions about it in the comments. 


	7. Introducing Josephine Lightbourne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the wait, I had a lot going on and the B and E situation was a lot for me to process. I have ultimately decided that Bellamy and Clarke are not their actors, and I should be able to continue loving them. Let me know what you think about this chapter in the comments! I really appreciate it!

Chapter VI

_Intoducing Josephine Lightbourne_

Clarke didn't come back to her room until early in the morning according to Madi. Apparently she spent the night with _Cillian_. Bellamy frowned and stabbed his pancakes angrily while Murphy laughed at him. 

"We told you this would happen." Murphy sang. Bellamy shot him a glare, while Harper looked sympatheticaly at him. "Clarke's a woman with needs afterall" he began, and Bellamy did not need this right now, no sir. "I mean she hasn't had sex in what six years- Hey!" Murphy yelled. Harper was repeadatly wacking him on the arm. 

"Are you an idiot Murphy." She hissed, Murphy shrugged, 

"Just trying to lighten the mood." The tavern door opened, and Clarke walked through it with Madi. Bellamy immediately straightened up and willed away his horrible expression. 

"Hey guys!" Clarke said waving at them. Harper waved back and signaled for her to come over, and Raven slung an arm over her shoulder as she walked. 

"How was your night with _Cillian._ " Raven teased. Bellamy stiffened and Harper was shooting him worried looks, Miller placed his hand on his mouth to stiffle his laughter. Bellamy glared at him. Clarke turned to Raven, and he saw a flash of confusion flicker in his eyes. 

"Oh uh, it was good I guess. It's wasn't serious though, just a one night stand." She said. Bellamy felt a surge of relief flow through him at the words. Raven laughed and shot him a knowing grin. 

"Clarrrkeeee pleaseeee can I go to school." Madi whined, Clarke turned to her. 

"Sure why not?" she said, and he felt everyone at the table collectively stiffen. 

"Clarke?" Emori questioned. "Don't you think that's a _bad_ _idea_. " Clarke just shot her a lazy grin, that felt off. 

"Chill out, what's the worst that can happen." She said. Raven shared a look with miller, both of them found something off about her phrasing. 

"Clarke..." Miller said. "I think Madi should wait a couple days until we get settled in." He said shooting her a pointed look. Clarke rolled her eyes. 

"Whatever, Madi how about you hang with us today." From the corner of his eye he saw Murphy mouth _hang with us today_ to Emori, and she just shot him a confused look and shrugged. Clarke grinned. “So what are we up to today?” She questioned. 

“Uhh nothing much.” Murphy said in response. ”We’ve been taking turns waiting with the radio to see if Octavia’s responded.” Octavia. God he missed her. He didn’t know what he would do if she was gone. She checked in late last night, but hasn’t since. It was nothing to get super concerned for, but it worried him. Clarke nodded and then twirled a lock of her hair before she caught herself and brought her hand down quickly... weird. He studied her, something was off about her today and he couldn’t figure out what. Maybe her night with _him_ loosened her up a bit. He sighed and stared at his pancakes.   
  
“What’s wrong with you?” Clarke questioned. Her voice pulled him from his thoughts and Miller snorted. He shot him a glare. 

  
“I-i uh nothing.” He stammered out. 

  
“hmm.” Clarke said, her eyes flickering pointedly from his eyes to his lips- was Clarke- was Clarke flirting? He shook his head at the thought. God he needed to get it together. 

  
“I’m worried about Delilah.” Harper interrupted. Clarke’s eyes flashed to her.

  
“Oh god this again Harper?” Murphy groaned.   
  
“What are you guys talking about?” Clarke questioned. Murphy and Harper were staring each other down. “John?” Clarke prompted at that Murphy glanced at her. When did Clarke start calling him John. Bellamy shook his head, that wasn’t important.

“Harper here thinks that something happened to Delilah after the ceremony because she’s “acting strange” and doesn’t remember things that she used to.” Murphy said mockingly. Harper frowned at him.

“It is a little weird.” Raven said. “Yesterday she said her favorite flowers were Calla Lillies and today they were daisies-“ 

  
“So?” Murphy interrupted. Raven ignored him and continued talking. 

  
“It’s like she’s a different person, she doesn’t even remember us, and then her parents said the weirdest thing when I brought it up. They said “oh child, we miss her too.” I mean what does that even mean?” Raven questioned. She did have a point. 

  
“It was pretty weird.” Monty added on. “I think we should investigate.” He said. I nodded in agreement, looking to Clarke.

  
“umm sure, I’ll come with.” She said. Bellamy nodded at her and then they all developed plans. They were interrupted by Clarke jumping from the table suddenly. Bellamy looked up alarmed. “Sorry I- uh I have to go I i- said I was going to meet with someone but I’m oh late-“ 

“oooooh” Raven teased. “Who are you going to meet with? Is it Cillian?” She questioned. Bellamy’s heart sank. Clarke’s head tilted slightly as if she was contemplating her answer.   
  
“Uh ya, it’s just a checkup.” At that Bellamy exhaled, just a check up, nothing to worry about. Except he was worried and jealous and all of it. Clarke got up and left, and everyone else continued making plans. A small group of people were going to investigate where Delilah went during the ceremony which consisted of himself, Monty, Harper, Raven, Gaia, Murphy, and Clarke if she had time. Everyone else would be on lookout. they eventually left after seeing no sign of Clarke and made it to the doorway. Monty quickly hacked the code and they got in. Bellamy’s eyes flickered around the room. There was nothing in it but there was a door at the end of the hall. He gestured for them to follow him, and he opened the next door, walking through it hesitantly. When he took a moment to gather his surroundings he stopped dead in his tracks. 

”You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Murphy groaned, but there was a hint of fear in his tone. 

”Are these... real?” Harper questioned her eyes flickering at the skeletons all across the room. Raven nodded at her and Bellamys hope of it being just some weird decor flew away. Raven pointed at some of the skeletons. 

“God some of them were children.” She said, her voice shaky. Bellamy felt like he was going to hurl. The door creaked open and he spun around, they all did, and they were met with Clarke. 

“What are you guys doing!” She hissed. “This is Sanctums holliest place! We shouldn’t be here.” Bellamy frowned and Clarke backtracked. “I’m sorry I just- I saw you on the steps.” He nodded and turned examining the skeletons. Gaia gasped suddenly. 

“This is the mark of the flame.” She said her hands trailing on a skeleton, as she moved. “There all commanders.” 

“That’s why the symbol was in the flag.” Raven said. Bellamy frowned 

“Well it’s all coming together now can we please go.” Murphy snarked and Raven glared at him. Bellamy glanced at the skeletons. 

”The ones in the front row must be the original Elegius team.” He guessed. “There’s twelve of them.” He glanced at the little skeleton “Oh and they take kids.” He said his tone growing sharp. 

“Familial love is a powerful motivator.” Clarke said walking towards him. “People will do anything to ensure the survival of the ones they love.” She said pausing. “Now let’s ensure our survival and get the hell out of here.” She finished. Murphy nodded clearly echoing her wishes to leave, when Monty leaned on a wall and accidentally opened up a door. 

”woahhh” he whispered gazing around the room. The room was filled with Medicare equipment and tv’s and there was a medical table in the center of the room. He glanced at Clarke hoping to gauze her reaction, but he couldn’t quite tell what she was thinking. He hadn’t been able to tell what she was thinking for a while, it unnerved him. Monty gingerly sat down on a chair and began looking through the files on the computer, he hesitated when deciding which one to choose. 

”Try Eureka.” Raven said, while Murphy muttered about how terrible this idea was. The video started and Bellamy watched, curious. Slowly his curiosity died and was replaced with an ever growing horror as he realized what this was. 

“There immortal.” Harper whispered horrified, as she placed a shaky hand over her mouth.

”Oh my god they murdered Delilah.” Raven said letting out a horrified breath. 

”Did we just watch someone get murdered.” Monty questioned not needing an answer. 

”It’s not murder if they go willingly.” Clarke said almost... defensively? He stared at her astounded. Out of all the people in this room he thought Clarke would be the most upset or angry, he did not expect this.

”They manipulate them.” Gaia said adding onto Clarke. “They go willingly believing they’re going to be one with the primes when in reality they just murder them. They make them believe there gods.” Gaia said stepping back slowly.

“Well so much for respecting their faith.” Murphy drawled “I mean, no offense. We let a bunch of kids fight to the death to become your gods.” Murphy said turning to Gaia who stiffened. Bellamy found himself agreeing with Murphy but they didn’t need a fight right now.

”Enough Murphy.” Murphy rolled his eyes and Bellamy turned to Clarke. ”Clarke, You’re ok with this?” he questioned incredulously. Clarke shook her head. 

”Well I didn’t say that.” He saw the room collectively let out a breath. “I just don’t think they pose a threat to us, that’s all.” He stared at her again. 

”They pose a threat to _you_. You’re a nightblood, and based on what we just saw I’m thinking that’s the only reason they let us stay here.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Raven nodding along furiously. he opened his mouth to speak, but someone interrupted him. 

”Madi’s a nightblood Clarke, they pose a threat to her.” He watched Clarke and she nodded, seeing reason. Clarke would always risk herself, but never Madi.

”I’ll go find her.” Gaia said rushing out the door. Clarke nodded, and they all dispersed, but not before he ordered them all to be careful.   
  


Murphy sat at the bar table nursing a drink . What the hell was going on. They arrived on a new planet and just when he thought that maybe _maybe_ they were going to be ok he finds out there a bunch of psycho body snatchers. He was brought back to reality when someone sat across from him. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Clarke asked settling into the seat across from him. He glanced at her quizzically. 

“What’s a penny?” He drawled grabbing his drink. 

”Something from my time.” She replied. He glanced at her again. What was that supposed to mean, was she talking about her time on earth by herself or- she was smirking at him and not in your usual Clarke Griffin save the world smirk- this was- this was weird. Her smirk was unsettling, he shifted in his chair and traced her movements. She was still staring at him. Ahhhh. This was about leaving sanctum. He put his drink down. 

“Let me guess.” He smirked at her. “Bellamy convinced you that we should leave paradise and take our chances in hell.” He drawled. Clarke’s response surprised him. 

”No.” she said simply. “Why would I leave my home.” She questioned still looking at him with that unnerving smirk. Leave her home? They’d only been here a couple days. What’s with her sudden attachment. He was missing something. “That’s it.” She said. “Fill in the blanks John.” She said now grinning. 

”That’s the second time you called me jo-“ he cut himself off. No. No. No. This was not happening. Cla- not Clarke glanced pointedly at the wall where a picture of some prime girl hung. He shifted pushing himself up, getting ready to run from whoever this was.

“Ok before you freak out.” she started realizing he was about to make a run for it “and raise your voice. I have a question for you.” He interrupted her, not being able to comprehend anything other then that the woman sitting in front of him was not Clarke Griffin. 

”You’re not Clarke.” He said shaking his head and she grinned leaning forward pushing her head up on her elbows in a very un-Clarke way. Come to think of it she hadn’t been acting like Clarke all day. She grimaced mockingly. 

”I’m gonna be honest with you.” She said glancing around the room. “Clarke’s dead.” No no no no no- “My parents killed her and brought me back-“ he jumped up he could not listen to her. His blood was roaring in his ears, he needed to come up with a plan and fast. “My question is.” She continued unfazed “How would you like to be immortal too?” So this is why she told him. She thought he would help her. His resolve complete, he made an easy decision. 

”I’m listening.” He replied gingerly taking a seat across from Cla- not Clarke. 

John didn't know what to say Clar-Josephine, had basically told him one of his best friends was dead, no murdered, offered him mortality, and then told him to act normal as he joined his friends at the table. Jesus fucking christ. Josephine was sitting right next to him, smiling Clarke's smile, and it was all wrong. He knew his friends thought something was up, but nobody knew what. God. How did he get stuck in these horrible situations. He felt unsettled and disturbed, as Josephine frowned trying to explain to them that they had to stay. He glanced across the table trying to take in his friends expressions, they were all somber, processing what they had learned- he wondered what they would say when they all realized the girl sitting next to him wasn't Clarke. He needed to come up with a plan, and fast. Josephine thought that he was on her side, and he needed it to remain that way. He would be able to figure out her plan if she considered him an ally, and as much as it sickened him, he needed her to like him. He also needed to figure out how the hell he was going to tell everyone Clarke was dead. Bellamy was going to lose his mind. He knew Bellamy was hopelessly in love with her, god Bellamy had practically admitted a thousand times. He felt ill, as Josephine continued to wear Clarke's face. Eventually they decided to stay, and queen bitchiness decided to leave them, as she was "oh so tired." He sighed putting his head in his hands and watched as Josephine left the table. 

"John?" Emori questioned, catching the eyes of the others at the table. "Are you ok?" He groaned and let himself keep his head in his hands for one more minute, one more minute, and then this semblance of peace, everything, would change. He hated that he had to tell them. God he hated it. Clarke deserved so much more then this. She didn't deserve her tragic life filled with hardship, lonliness, and crappy friends. She deserved to be happy and healthy. She deserved to have ambitions, and passions, her heartstopping romance with Bellamy, god she desrved so _so_ much more. He lifted his head from his hands, she deserved so much more then this, and he was going to make sure those murderers up their would pay. He couldn't look at them, he kept his gaze firmly on the wall in front of him. Emori placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and he reveled in the touch. He wondered if this was the right place to tell them, afterall they were in public, but it was better then them all being mysteriously missing, and if someone got suspicous he'd chalk it up to them finding out some of their cryo pods weren't working, or make some other shit up.

"That wasn't Clarke." He said slowly. He turned slightly and saw some of their faces. Raven was staring at him like he was an equation she couldn't solve, Harper just looked confused, and Monty-Monty looked mad as the realization started coming to him. 

"What does that mean?" Abby asked hurridly, clearly realizing what he was implying. He looked sadly at her, he and Abby may have their differences, but they both cared about Clarke. He slowly let out a breath and tried to get himself to remain calm. He glanced around the table looking at everyone waiting for his next word, when he realized someone was missing. Shit. Shit shit shit shit _shit_. His eyes widened, and he looked frantically around the table. 

"Where is Bellamy?" he hissed, that was clearly not what they were expecting. 

"I-I don't know." sturted out Harper. 

"He left right after Clar- er - right after she left." Raven said, getting chocked up on Clarke's name. "Murphy your not sure right." Raven said hurridly. "I know she was acting weird but that doesn't mean she was _body snatched_. She's never experienced peace-" She was interrupted when he stood up. He couldn't deal with Raven's denial and her inevitable upcoming anger right now. He needed to find Bellamy, and fast. He must've figured out that Clarke wasn't Clarke. Those two knew each other like the back of their hand. If anyone was going to figure out that Clarke wasn't Clarke it was Bellamy. He raced out of the pub with Milller and a couple others hot on his heals. Where were they where were they wh-. There. He could spot that blonde head anywhere.

He turned sharply to the left and chased after them, slowing down when he could hear Cla- _Josephine_ and Bellamy. Bellamy was asking her something in trikru, and Josephine got it wrong, he knew Bellamy had figured it out, he'd probably known for a while, and rushed into the room right as Bellamy slammed Josephine into the wall. He pulled Bellamy away from her roughly. He met Bellamy eyes and they were wild. Full of so many emotions he couldn't even count. Grief, anger, sadness, fear, heartbreak. He pulled his eyes away from Bellamy and nodded slightly at Josephine, she relaxed slightly and Bellamy tensed clearly noticing the look. Bellamy turned to him but before anyone had the chance to react, he whipped out his gun and wacked Joseehine with the but of it, knocking her unconciuos. She slumped and Bellamy immediately reached out to catch her. He heard a small thud and there it was. A sedative hit the floor, something Josephine must've been planning to use on them. He turned to Bellamy. 

"Pick her up right now." He ordered and then momentarily blanched. Jesus with Bellamy clearly emotionally comprimised and Clarke was... Clarke was- he had to find someone to take charge. He sucked in his breath and then glanced at his companions. Miller, Monty, Echo, Harper, and Gaia were right behind him. Great, he though sarcastically. His friends were amazing but they were no Bellamy or Clarke. "Gaia get Indra and Kane right now." He said. "We need to get out of here, and fast." Bellamy was just staring at Cl-Josephine in his arms, carefully brushing a strand of her hair away from her face. Murphy furiously blinked back his tears. The rest of them crept out of the small shed they were in. 

"Where the hell are we going?" Harper hissed. "They're going to notice us holding Cla-" Harper stopped abruptly, choking on her words as if realizing that the girl hanging limply in Bellamy's arms was not Clarke. Monty placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and he ached for Emori. He turned his head wildly searching for his way out. He needed to find a way to get the hell out of this place. They crouched down against the wall while Miller ventured out to analyze there surroundings. A couple minutes later Miller came rushing over, the others hot on his heals. Shit. They were not being incospicous right now. 

"What the hell are you all doing here- this is so suspicous I-" He was interrupted. 

"Is she really dead?" Abby asked her eyes strangely hollow, he had to turn away. Kane clenched his jaw in anger.

"We need to get the hell out of here." Monty said, his eyes flashing periodically to the girl in Bellamy's arms. God this was so unfair. Complete shit. Everyone was arguing on who was leaving, when they where leaving, where they were leaving to. 

"I am not staying with these phsyco murderers." Raven hissed her voice rising. Shit. She was going to take her anger out on someone any minute now. He had seen this scene before, and this was going to be bad perhaps the most volatile. Clarke was like Raven's sister- Clarke was like his sister. His partner in crime, the only person who understood the burdens he felt- because she lived with them too. "Unlike you people I will not being staying here," Raven continued "maybe none of you even cared about her if you could be so fine with sta-" 

"How dare you." Miller hissed angrily at her- shit shit shit shit shit. Miller was getting mad now. This was not good- nope not at all. "You are not the only one who cared about her, and quite frankly you treated her like crap for so long so you do not get to stand there and and-." He groaned. "We don't have anywhere to go, like it or not, if we venture out we will get killed.". 

"This is an act of war, they deserve to die for what they did." Indra ground out. Her eyes hardening into the killing calm. "Clarke was honorable and noble, a heda in her own right, and they _murdered_ her." She hissed passionately, "they deserve to burn to the ground for what they have done- I will make sure of it." Some of the others stared at Indra in shock, not realizing how much Indra cared about Clarke. Emori wrapped her arms around his waste, and he startled, not realizing she was there. He leaned into her embrace.

"I agree. Wanheda-" Echo stared. 

"Do. not. call her that." Raven said. "She hated the fucking name why would you use it. Her name is _Clarke_. Not wanheda, or the commander of death," Raven hissed turning to Echo. Echo glared back at her not appreciating her anger. The two began arguing, and Kane sighed rubbing a tired hand across his face. His face weary. 

"So do we leave or de we stay?" He interrupted. "They're going to look for... whoever that is, and we need to make a decision soon." Everyone began arguing the again. The same thing over and over and over and over and over again. 

"Wait where is Madi?" He questioned, and everyone fell silent for one second. He continued softly, "and who's going to- going to tell her." He finished. He was met with more silence. 

"Madi's in her room." Gaia said lamely. He saw everyone let out a collective breath, but the tension in the room remained. "We can worry- worry about who's telling her later." Gaia said. He couldn't help but feel relieved, he was about to open his mouth and say he would do it. God he could not crush that little girls heart like that. Maybe it was selfish, but he wanted to put that off for as long as humanely possible, he didn't want to deal with Clarke's daughter inevitable hatred of them for letting this happen. Everyone began talking again, the arguing starting up. Voices were being raised, accusations thrown around like wildfire.

"We have nowhere to go, and I for one would like to see that man die." Monty said angrily. Before he could speak someone interrupted him, the one person who had remained silent this whole time, opened his mouth. 

"Octavia." Bellamy said horsely. His eyes hollow and dead as he stared down at Clarke. "Someone contact O, and we go to her." He didn't look up as he said it. Didn't even wait to hear their reactions. It was a good idea, the only one they had, and Kane immediately took out his radio and tried to contact Octavia. Bellamy was still cradling Clarke, he was shaking slightly. His breaths coming sharp and ragged. He looked- he looked like he wished he was dead, and it was unnverving. Murphy had never once scene him like this- on the arc it was close. He was close, but there was some part of Bellamy that had held out hope for her. Hope for her to be alive. It was so easy to just pretend that she was alive while they were up there, they never saw, they didn't really know what happened to her. Murphy once shared with Raven that the only reason he thought Bellamy was functioning was because he still had the small piece of hope, he never truly gave up. To be honest, he didn't really lose it either, none of them did. Nobody ever really said the words Clarke's dead, every one of them held out, and in the end she survived. When he looked at Bellamy this time, he looked hopeless. This was him truly broken. No hope no nothing. Not one emotion flashed through his usually expressive face as he stared at Clarke's face. Blank. Like a doll. It was unnerving and terrifying. Bellamy didn't give up, and if he did or was close to, Clarke was right there to let him lean on her. To lift some of that weight off of his shoulders. She wasn't there right now, and Bellamy- Bellamy looked destroyed. He turned back to the others, unable to stare at that heartbreaking duo any longer. 

"Octavia will meet us outside." Kane began, telling them Octavia's plan. They needed to disable the shield so that they could escape with Queen Bitchface, and then meet O at the forest. Apparently she had met Gabriel, who was, suprise suprise ,good. Turns out the children of Gabriel were just people who found out the Primes were a bunch of murderers. Gabriel was a prime but he had changed. Murphy rolled his eyes internally. They were going to get everyone out of here and to Gabriels, and then bargain for Josephine with Russsell, as Josephine was his daughter. Kane sighed wearily once again. "We need to decide who's going to tell Madi." He said quitely. Before he could even open his mouth someone beat him too it. 

"I'll do it." Bellamy said, his voice gravelly. Kane nodded and they continued there planning. Raven and Monty were going to hack into the shields and temporarily disarm them with Harper as back up, in the mean time they needed to tell Madi and get everyone else to the border. Emori had went to Madi's room and was bringing her over now. God he was not going to be able to watch this. Bellamy had given Clarke to Miller and was shaking slightly, wringing out her hands. Miller was crouched behind a shed with Clarke, so that Madi wouldn't see her and start immediately freaking out when he saw her. Emori and Madi slowly came into view, the little girl was gripping her hand tightly trailing slightly behind. When Madi saw them all her eyes widened as she looked around widely. Her eyes darting as she looked for her mom. Bellamy crouched down in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Looking straight into her eyes as he began whispering, telling Madi what had happened. Her little blue eyes, so like her mom, filled with tears. They spilled, a few of them slipping creating tracks down her cheeks. He waited for it, they all did, they waited for her explosion, her hatred, only it didn't come. Instead the little girl through herself into Bellamy's arms and cried, they both did. Bellamy was rubbing her back soothingly, and Murphy could see his tears falling onto Madi as well. The little girl sobbed, heartshattering sobs, as she shook and clung to Bellamy like he was her lifeline. Whatever ill will she had once had for him had dissapeared in this moment. They mourned together crying as one. He turned away, at this point everyone but Echo had turned. He glared at Echo and she too turned. He wrapped his arms around Emori as his own tears began to fall. He glanced around the room, and everyone else seemed to be seeking others for comfort as they cried. Eventually the group got up and Madi walked over to her mom- well Josephine- and carefully grabbed her hand as if willing her to wake up as her mother, not Josephine. They made it to the sheild, and crouched at the border waiting for Monty, Raven, and Harper, Madi still held onto her mother's hand, and Bellamy had her in his arms. He looked out and saw Raven, Monty, and Harper were making there way to the hideout. He caught Monty's eye, and he gave the signal. They all quickly left, careful not to draw attention. The walk to the woods was tense, they made it to the spot Octavia told them to and waited. He became more and more anxious as time ticked by, and then finally _finally_ Octavia appeared. She walked right past them, and straight to Clar- Josephine. She carefully moved her from Bellamy's tired arms and a few tears slipped onto the still body she was holding. He was shocked, they all were. Octavia was whispering as she shook holding Clarke. 

"No no no no no no no no no" It was non stop, eventually her whispers started changing. "You're not dead. No no your not. Clarke Griffin is not dead. I swear to god, when you wake up it better be you." She whispered. Murphy had to turn his head as she continued. He couldn't listen to Octavia just spread false hope. "You're gonna wake up and you're going to marry my brother." at that he turned sharply back to her. They all did, but she ignored them continuing her whispering. "You heard me right Griffin, I'm going to make sure you two idiots work out that you're both stupidly in love with each other, and then you're gonna become a Blake and be my family, my sister, not that you aren't already, but I'd love another Blake." She continued and Murphy turned to look at Bellamy who was staring at Octavia with wide eyes, as he listened to her. Eventually Octavia stopped her whispering whipped her eyes and picked Clarke back up, standing and turning to the group. "Come on." She said, her voice hoarse, "Follow me." The group followed her until they eventually made it to a campsite where Gabriel greeted them. Murphy turned sharply when he noticed Clark- _Josephine_ start to move on the chair they had placed her in. Everyone immediately raced towards her, and Bellamy scooped her up as Gabriel directed him to a makeshift doctors office. He placed her body gently on the cot and brushed her hair out of her face. Madi simply stared at her mother, her expression cloudy. She started to stir and then slowly her eyes opened. He could practically feel the tension in the room, it was palpable. Her eyes were bright blue and she stared, glancing around the room confused. She locked eyes with him, and in that moment any hope that he had about it being Clarke in their, died. She pushed herself up onto her elbows and an evil smile began to form on her face. Murphy shuddered, that look was not at all suited for her. 

"Well hello there." Josephine cooed to Clarke's horror struck friends.. 


	8. The Children of Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and co deal with Josephine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So sorry about the wait, I had some serious writers block with this chapter. This chapter was rather short... but the next one is where it really ramps up! It should be posted by about Friday so keep your eyes open! I am so thankful for my fans on this story, you guys are what keeps me writing this. Let me know what you guys think in the comments, and if there's anything or anyone you want me to include in the next chapter!

Chapter 7 

_The Children of Gabriel_

Bellamy stared at Josephine. At the woman wearing the face of the woman he loved. He wanted to vomit. Josephine sat up on her cot and before he could even react she was grabbing a sharp piece of wood and throwing it at them. 

"We need to tie her up." Gabriel shouted, and Josephine turned towards him sharply her mouth dropping open. 

"Gabriel?" she questioned, she was so distracted that she didn't even notice being handcuffed until she was tied down. She scowled up at them, and he felt a wave a guilt flow through him. This felt way too much like the time when he tied her down and gave her the flame. 

"Well well well." She drawled, "looks like you betrayed me Murphy." Murphy turned to look at her. 

"Did you seriousley think that I would actively help Clarke's murderer." He sneered. Josephine merely smirked. 

"Well _I_ didn't, but Clarke sure did." At that Murphy stiffened, and Bellamy saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. "Actually Clarke was 100% that all of you would." 

"Stop talking." Abby interrupted. Josephine merely turned her head the other direction and barked out a laugh. 

"Why should I?" She questioned, with a fake sincerity that made him feel ill. Abby scowled at her and Josephine grinned back. "You were a crappy mother anyway." Another blow from Josephine, he could practically see Abby's expression crack and fall, her cool calmness melting away. Josephine turned back towards the rest of the group. "Don't you guys want to know what Clarke thought of you?" she questioned. He could not listen to this. God he did not want to _listen_ to this. 

"Shut the fuck up." Miller growled. 

"Hmm." Josephine mocked, "I think not." She smiled and he shuddered. "You know, if I was Clarke I totally would have run away after Mt. Weather." The tension in the room thickened at the words. "I mean you guys were like, totally horrible to her before, and then you all condemned her for leaving. Plus she has all those social anxiety issues after being in isolation, ya totally the right move." Josephine paused. "Honestly, I don't know why she didn't leave and stay gone, you guys were so crappy to her." 

"That's not true." Raven chocked. Josephine, laughed, she honest to god laughed. 

"You seriously think you can talk, you made her laugh a living hell. I truly wonder why she considers you "family" when you blamed her for everything. Let's see." Josephine said, "You blamed her for Finn" Josephine said, putting up a finger, "You blamed her for the war with the grounders," she put up a finger, "You blamed her for Mt. Weather," Another finger, "You blamed her for primfaya. You blamed her for space. You blamed her for the fall of the valley. You blamed her for Elegi-"

"Stop it." Raven interrupted, turning away from her. Josephine grinned at her.

"Aww Raven." she cooed, "Did that hurt your itty-bitty feelings." Raven scowled at her, but didn't say anything. Bellamy placed a hand on Raven's shoulder, and Josephine zeroed in on it. "Ohh this will be fun." He stiffened. "Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin, now that's a weird relationship." He wanted to shut her up, to stop her, but he couldn't open his mouth. "You're like totally in love with her, it's so obvious, well not to her, but literally everyone else, and you were so crappy to her for so long. I mean sometimes you weren't. I can admit, that if this was a tv-show, you'd totally be the heartthrobe." she continued. "All those sexually charged moments, I mean whew, I'm swooning. The head and the heart." The words sounded awful when she said it like that. "Makin every little girl fall in love with ya Blake. Surprised it took her so long to realize she was in love with you." He gasped. 

"Wha-what?" He questioned. Kane was shaking his head at him from across the room, and the others looked like they were coming out of their trance to shut Josephine up. Josephine cocked her head to the side, in a manner so similar to Clarke, that he wanted to cry. 

"You didn't know?" she questioned. "Huh. It's fairly obvious, I mean." she gestured around the room. "All your friends know, why don't you." She sighed. "God I mean I don't even know why she's in love with you. I mean yes, objectively, your hot, but your also a dick. I mean that whole family shit you pulled, constantly choosing everyone over her, locking up her daughter, that's one weird way to show love." She shrugged. "But who am I to judge. Too bad she's dead, you two would've been so cute. You were both so close to figuring it out. I wonder what your kids would be like, I mean you've already got Madi, but what would the little Blake be named. Clarke told Madi that if she had a son she might've name him Roan, hmmm, Roan Bl-" She was cut off as she slumped forward in her chair. Octavia had slammed a syringe into her neck, and was now slowly pulling out. 

"I will not listen to her shit for a minute longer." She announced, daring anyone to disagree with her, nobody did. Kane sighed and turned to them. 

"We need to figure out a plane, and fast." he said. "Russel is going to want his daughter, so when he contacts us, we're going to need to bargain with him." Kane said. 

"We can give him Josephine and then he can let us leave and help us build the compound-" Echo started. 

"No." Miller interupted, glaring at the spy. "We should be able to give Clarke a proper funeral. We should be able to keep her body and bury it." Miller said. Bellamy found himself nodding with him. Echo was glaring at him. 

"I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen. The only way we can ensure our survival is if we give him Russel." Echo said. Miller scoffed. 

"He's already killed her, why does he get to keep her body aswell." Madi interrupted, her voice cold. He turned to her, stunned. 

"Madi." Gaia began. 

_"Shof op!"_ Madi hissed, Gaia visibly recoiled. "Don't try to comfort me, Clarke's dead, and it's Russels fault. We should not be bargaining with him, we should be waking up are army and slaughtering him while he sleeps." Before he could even reply to that violent statement. Indra began talking. 

"I agree. Jus drein jus daun! Blood must have Blood. Clarke was a heda. Russel desrves to die." Indra said. Madi nodded-. 

"No." Monty interrupted. 

"No?" Indra questioned. "He killed your friend, you believe he shouldn't die for that." Monty shook his head. 

"I believe he should die yes, but this is not what Clarke would've wanted." Monty said. "Clarke would've wanted us to _survive_. Clarke would'nt have wanted more bloodshed. Clarke would've wante-" 

"Well Clarke's not here." He interrupted, finally speaking, "So we don't know what she would've wanted." His voice was emotionless. Monotone and cold. 

"Bellamy- you can't, you can't believe that this is what she would want. We _know_ her." Monty said. 

"Knew her." Indra corrected. Raven glared at her and Indra glared right back.

"How do we even know she's really, dead?" Harper questioned. Bellamy's heart practically stopped at the question. How did they know she was dead? Maybe she was still in there? He glanced at Clarke. They could still save her. 

"I'm sorry." Gabriel said. "But once the chips in her head, she's dead. Nobody has ever survived past that." and with those words, any hope Bellamy had been holding shattered. He swallowed hard, as Raven began arguing with Gabriel. Not wanting to accept it. He felt dizzy and lightheaded. Clarke was dead. He wanted- he wanted to punch something. He wanted, god, he just wanted Clarke. That's it. He wanted Clarke to come hug him and tell him everything would be okay, that they were in this together. A voice crackeled on the radio, and Bellamy was abruptly pulled from his thoughts. 

"This is Russel Prime, come in." The voice said. Bellamy clenched his jaw, and walked to the radio. Attempting to grab it, right when Kane took it instead. He glared at him and Kane shook his head, ever the diplomat. 

"This is Marcus Kane." he said. 

"Ahhh hello Mr. Kane." Russel said. "It seems like you and your people from earth have left the premises-"

"We know you killed Clarke." Kane said, his voice hard. Looked like he was being blunt today. There was some crackling over the line. 

"Hmm." Russel said. "It was a true shame, what happened to her but-" 

"I don't care. You killed my step-daughter." Kane said. Step-daughter? Did he and Abby get married? He glanced over at Abby and she was fiddling with a makeshift ring. Huh? He tuned back into the conversation. "And many of my people believe you should die for that." 

"Well lets not be too hasty. You don't have the army or the resources. You need us." Russel said. 

"And you need us as well if you ever want to see your _daughter_ again." Kane said, sneering the last bit. Russel sighed, as if making a decision. 

"I'll let you have whatever you want if you let me talk to Josie," He said. Kane looked at everyone in the room, and made a decision. 

"Fine, hold on a couple minutes." Kane said, muting the radio. Voices errupted immediately. Everyone arguing over each other. 

"Enough." Indra bellowed. "We will let that man talk to Josie." she sneered "and then we will decide what to do." Kane nodded and then Gabriel grabbed a different syringe and stuck it in Cl- her neck. The blonde blinked and her eyes widened as she took in her surroundings. 

"Ahh back agai-" She started. 

"Shut up." Murphy said. Josephine blinked at him. "Your dear old dad is on the phone, so you better behave if you want to talk to him." She scowled at him. 

"Fine." She said, and Murphy smirked, while placing the radio infront of her and turning it on. 

"Josie?" questioned Russel. Josephine sighed in what looked like relief.

"Dad?" she questioned back, her voice hesitant. It made him sick.

"Oh my god. Thank god your ok. I promise i'm gonna get you out of there. Alright." Russel begain. This mad him sick. This mad clearly had emotions and cared for his kid, yet didn't blink an eye while brutally murdering Cla- Jesus. He glanced down and looked at the girl again. She was fidgeting, likely nervous. Good. She should be nervous. She was tapping something with her fingers- except it didn't look like a nervous tick. It almost looked like- like morse code. His eyes widened as he brushed past people looking for a pen and paper. "What was that?" Russel questioned. 

"Oh, just that Blake guy- totally losing his mind. I think he was in love with Clar-" 

"Josie." Russel warned. 

"Right, I have to _behave_." She said, rolling her eyes. Bellamy wasn't paying her any mind as he searched for a piece of paper. 

"What the hell are you doing Bellamy." Raven hissed. He ignored her, and finally found a pen and paper in the drawer he was rifling. He pulled it out holding it over his head and immediately went back to his spot, and looked at the tapping. Trying to make it out. Josephine was too distracted talking to her dad, to notice what he was doing but all his friends did. dot dash dot dash dot dot. What did Pike say. That's an A. and that's an L. I. V. and then an E. Holy Shit. 

Alive. Alive. Alive. Alive. Clarke's alive. He quickly scribbled out what he found out under the morse code. 

.- .-.. .. ...- . 

He held the paper up above Josephine's head so she couldn't see it. He registered the shock in their faces and then pointed at her hand, which was still tapping out the code. Raven let out a watery grin and Madi wrapped her arms around his waist. Kane nodded at him and then took the phone from Josephine. 

"Times up." Murphy said. He heard a voice crackle over the radio, and then a resigned sigh. 

"What do you want?" Russel questioned. 

"You will not kill another one of our people ever again, you will give us all the information and resources we need to build a compound of our own, and you will take the chip out of Clarke's head." Kane said. 

"Why can't we keep the body?" Russel questioned. "The girl is already dead. She is of no use to you anymo-" 

"Clarke deserves a proper funeral. She deserves to be burried in her own body, and someone else should not be walking around in her skin." At that Josie rolled her eyes. 

"But dad." Josephine whined. "I like this body, Clarke's _gorgeous_. By far one of my prettiest hosts." Russel sighed again on the radio. 

"Fine. We help you with the compound, take Josie's chip out of her current host, and won't use any of your people as a host for the primes. In exchange for you not coming back for revenge and giving us Josie's chip. Is that a deal." Kane swallowed. 

"Deal." He said. 

"Alright then. Meet me at the palace entry way, with Josephine in four hours." and then he hung up. Kane muted his radio and all was silent. 


	9. Back to the palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and co go back to the palace.

Chapter 8

_Back to The Palace_

Four hours later, everyone was packing up and almost at the palace door. Josephine was lying on a stretcher, while the rest of them walked. The main group showing up to the palace was, Abby, Kane, Murphy, Miller, Himself, and Harper.

Everyone else was stationed around so that they could sneak into the palace when the shield opened. Bellamy sighed as they made it to the shield.  
  
Their plan was, simple, almost too simple. They'd go to medical take the chip out of Clarke's head and then leave.That was it. He glanced down at the figure on the stretcher, god he couldn't wait until he got Clarke back. 

The shield in front of him flickered and then disappeared, Russel emerged his guards behind him, and Bellamy fought down a growl. Kane placed, what he presumed was an attempt at a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Bellamy straightened up, his gun cocked and clenched tightly in his hands. 

Russel strode toward them a tight smile on his face. 

"Welcome back, I assume my daughter is in good health?" The unspoken words were in the air. _My daughter better be unharmed._ Bellamy clenched his jaw, and didn't speak. Kane nodded. 

"Yes, and mine better have that chip out of her head once we bury her." Another unspoken threat. _Well, you killed my daughter._ He couldn't help but side with Kane, what the fuck did Russel think he was doing. Threatening them, trying to get moral high ground. He scoffed, as if. 

"Right then." Russel said clasping his hands, that fucker didn't even apologize. His jaw felt impossibly tighter. It didn't matter, well of course it mattered, but he was going to save Clarke so putting up with this murderer would be worth it in the end. "Follow me." Kane nodded and the group walked through the gate. 

"Eyes sharp." Bellamy said unable to stop the familiar phrase from coming out of his mouth. Miller shot him a wry grin. 

"Weapons hot."He finished for him. Abby and Kane took the lead and were the first to enter the medical chambers. A surge of jealousy shot through him when he remembered who worked in this particular medical chamber, Cillian. 

"Now let's lie her across the cot here." Russel said, "and I will-" Abby interrupted him. 

"Where's that doctor, Cillian?" she questioned. Russel cleared his throat uncomfortably. 

"Ahhh." he said clasping his hands for what felt like the 80th time, "Unfortunately Cillian is no longer here so-," 

"What happened to him?" Harper questioned, seemingly worried about the doctor she barely knew, of course she was. 

"He's dead unfortunately, the children of Gabriel brutally murdered him." He shared a look with Murphy, a lie then.

Gabriel would have told them if that had happened. He narrowed his eyes Russel was lying... but why? Maybe he still wanted them to think the children of Gabriel were bad, maybe he was trying to gauge if they had teamed up, quite frankly he couldn't care so he let himself nod and move on. 

"So who's taking that chip out of my daughters head?" questioned Abby. 

"I will-" 

"No way." He interrupted. 

"Bellamy." Kane warned.

"You killed her, why the hell should you be allowed to _touch_ her." 

"I agree with hot-head over here." Murphy drawled. 

"Don't call me hot-head-" 

"Boys." Abby interrupted, her tone sharp. He glared at everything and everyone. "Russel will take the chip out, and then we take Clarke's body and go. Got it." 

"Ay ay captain." Murphy said, saluting sarcastically. 

Russel then walked over to Clarke gingerly placing his hand on her throat, god he wanted to put his hands on Russels throat, strangle him. He shook his head, focus Bellamy. 

"Right then, let's flip her over so we can remove the chip." Russel said turning to talk to Abby and Kane, and while everyone was focused on Clarke and the chip Russel brought his fingers to his lips and whistled, and all of a sudden the doors around them were sliding open the guards flooding through. Grabbing his friends arms. 

"You double crossed us!" Bellamy yelled. 

"What the hell did you have to gain?" Abby questioned snarling while a guard chained her up. 

"I'm truly sorry Abby, really but nobody can know that the hosts don't actually survive. There would be anarchy, chaos. I hope one day you can forgive me." the man finished. 

"Go to hell." Harper threw at him, struggling in her chains. Bellamy threw his head back and knocked his head with the guard behind him, getting loose when all of a sudden he twitched and screamed. Great he was getting tazzed. 

"Stop it!" Harper screamed, his head felt dizzy they were so close, so close to getting Clarke back. 

"Bring in the others." Russel said passively. Shit. Shit. Shit. All of a sudden even more guards were flooding holding his friends who had tried to sneak into the gate.

Diyoza, Octavia, Indra, Echo, Raven, Monty, Emori, Jackson. They were all here, both groups that had tried to sneak in. Shit. 

"Let me go!" Raven yelled flailing in some random guards arms. He threw her to the ground roughly, and she landed at his feet. 

"Raven", Bellamy said, struggling in chains. She groaned, rolling over clutching her stomach. 

"Looks like things didn't go according to plan." Emori said as she struggled in her chains. 

"Let us go." Raven said, now chained to the wall, "All we want is Clarke and then we can get the hell out of here."

"I am truly sorry but we can't risk you letting the citizens in Sanctums know what you have all found out." Russel said calmly, walking towards Clarke. 

"Don't touch her!" Murphy yelled as Russel began probing Clarke. Russel ignored him and grabbed a syringe.

"What are you doing?" Miller questioned. 

"Waking up my daughter." Russel responded. 

"STOP!" Raven yelled. "All we need is the body just the take the chip out and let us leave." Russel shook his head.

"She's still alive! Please! _Please_. " Abby ground out, tears in her eyes. Russel paused for a minute but the serum was already injected and Josephine was awake. The Blonde glanced around the room before stretching and cracking her neck. 

"Well." Josephine said, god he wanted to smack her. Make her Clarke again. But he didn't and Josephine continued to speak. "She's dead now." 

No.

No. 

Not again, Please, _please._ They were so close.

"No. That's not true." Raven said muttering. 

"Your lying. She's LYING!" Murphy bellowed, good god he had never seen Murphy look so angry in his life. He couldn't deal with this anymore. Having Clarke so close and then her being yanked back again and again and again. 

"I beat her out of her own mind. How about that." Bellamy struggled in his chains. Pulling on them, straining to get out. 

"Let me go." he said grunting. "LET ME GO!" he yelled. "I'll kill you." he snarled. "Burn your whole goddamn palace to the ground!" Russel sighed, as if he expected this. 

"Josephine. Let's go dear." The man said, placing a gentle hand on her back. He just continued to struggle and thrash in his chains. 

"Bellamy." Raven said. 

" _Bellamy_." She repeated and then he slumped in his chains, his head lolling forwards. 

"Guards," Russel said, "Lets go." and then they were all leaving Josephine was the last to go, trailing behind slightly. She paused at the doorway and turned. There was something in her eyes, her expression that was different, something so so Clarke about the way she was looking at them. He knew the others could feel it too. He was still slumped over, but he lifted his chin slightly to look at her, his hair falling in his eyes. 

"Oh and what was that thing you guys always said." Ahh, no that tone was all Josephine. 

"Josephine." Russel warned. 

_"Oso gonplei nou ste odon."_

**_Our fight isn't over_ **

**_Our fight isn't over_ **

**_Our fight isn't over_**

That look on her face, those words, Clarke was speaking to them, he was sure of it. He schooled his expression, so he couldn't betray what he was really feeling. He hoped the others did as well. 

" _Ai laik Clarke."_ There was now no doubt in his mind that Clarke was speaking to him. He had to fight the grin that was threatening to appear on his face. 

"Go to hell." Raven spat, but her eyes were bright. 

Clarke simply shrugged, a familiar glint in her eyes that he was just now noticing. 

"What did you say?" Russel questioned. 

"Oh just that there fight is over and Clarke's dead." Clarke said looking at Russel. 

The man sighed. 

"Don't provoke them on purpose." The man said sighing. 

"Aww, but it's so fun." Clarke whined. 

Damn. 

She was good at this. He never knew Clarke was a secret actress. 

And then they were gone. 

"She's alive." Raven whispered, looking awestruck.

"and a damn good actress." Murphy said smirking, echoing Bellamy's own thoughts. 

"So." Miller began, "what's the plan." 

"I have no fucking clue." Kane blurted. 

" _Kane."_ Harper gasped, "did you just... _swear_." 

The man blushed uncharacteresticaly, and then said gruffly. 

"The situation called for it." Murphy snickered and Monty wacked him on the arm repeadedly. 

He couldn't care more about the plan, Clarke being alive was more than enough to care about. 

* * *

Clarke swallowed her disgust as she walked next to Russel, her _father_. 

Jesus. This guy was the worst and now she had to pretend like she loved him. She felt ill and had to fight down the urge to vomit. This man, was the same man that didn't even hesitate in killing her. This is the same man who has lived for hundreds of years by killing innocent people and ressurecting himself over and over again. She just had to pretend for a little bit longer, once Russel dropped her off in her room she could develop a plan. 

"-Ok Josephine." Russel finished. "Do not provoke the prisoners on purpose again, we do not need the people of sanctum to know that they don't survive naming day." Clarke turned to Russel, careful to school her expression and began talking. 

"Right, ok dad." she whined. "You need to chill, we've got this under control." The words felt unatural but Russel just ate them up. Idiot. 

They stopped at her door, and Russel gave her a brief hug and then left. She sighed and slumped into the nearest chair. A pounding headache was forming and she wearily rubbed her forehead. 

Josephine was still fighting for control in her head, she was not going to be able to remain herself for long, so she needed to act fast. 

Step one. 

Find Madi, contact the others 

Step two.

Break out her friends and family. 

Step three. 

Expose the primes. 

First things first, she needed a radio. She scavanged the room and then found one. Yes! One thing was going right on this horrible fucking day. She quickly changed the dial to the right channel. 

"Hello. This is Clarke Griffin. Please come in." She said into the radio. 

Silence. 

"I repeat this is Clarke Griffin." A sound from the radio filtered through. A couple crackles and then someone was speaking. 

"Clarke?" Questioned an unfamiliar deep male voice. 

"Who is this?" she questioned gruffly. 

"This is Gabriel Santiago, am I speaking to Clarke Griffin?" Gabriel Santiago... as in the children of Gabriel. She weighed her options. Lie or tell the truth. 

"Yes." Then there was a bunch of shuffling and some noise, what sounded like a crash and then- 

"Mom?" questioned a voice she would recognize anywhere. 

" _Madi_." She breathed, relief shining through the word. "Thank god you're ok." Panic suddenly seized her. "You are ok right?" She questioned somewhat hysterically. Madi laughed wetly. 

"Ya I'm ok- did... did Bellamy take out the chip?" She questioned. Clarke sighed. 

"No- no Josephine is still in here." There was some shuffling and then Gabriel was on the radio again. 

"What do you mean the plan was to go in, get the chip out, and then get out." The man questioned. She found herself trusting and then said wrly. 

"Well then things definetely didn't go to plan. Russel backstabbed everyone. All my friends are held captive in the medical room. The only reason I'm not there is because I pretended to be Josephine... but I'm not going to stay in control for long. Josephine is fighting for control." Gabriel sighed. 

"What about the back up teams... Octavia and such." 

"They're all in the medical room." 

" _Shit_." Gabriel breathed. She couldn't help her laugh. 

"Ya, _shit_." she echoed. "I think are best bet to getting out of here alive is by letting the citizens of sanctum know the truth, they deserve at least that." 

"I agree." Gabriel said firm. There was some more shuffling and then Gabriel was back."Me and the children of Gabriel want exactly that, the primes to be exposed and no more innocent people to die, we'll back you up." She felt a bubble of tension deflate inside her. She'd have backup, she wouldn't have to do this alone. "So," Gabriel began. "What's the plan?" 

* * *

It had been at least an hour since Russel had backstabbed them, and everyone was getting restless. 

  
"There has to be some sort of latch..." Raven trailed off looking at her chains. 

"Well." Murphy started. "We're doomed on our own, we're just going to have to wait around for Clarke to come rescue us like she always does... and to think we came to rescue her." Everyone seemed to ignore Murphy, and opted for trying to break out of their chains and or try to find an escape route in the walls. 

"I got it." Indra said, and everyone turned to her. Sure enough, Indra was rubbing her wrists, but was free of chains. She quickly darted around the room, and soon enough almost everyone was out of chains. 

"Alright." Kane said, "Lets try to find a way out of here." 

"Right here!" Miller cried. The attention was soon diverted to him, and Bellamy strained in his chains to get a good look at what he was doing. "There's a loose panel right here." Miller said pointing to the wall behind him. "If I can just- pull this and then..." He trailed off. Thirty minutes later found Miller still trying to get the same latch open. 

Kane, Abby, Raven, and Monty, were huddled together trying to use the chains to create a sort of rope thing to pull the latch open... but it didn't seem like a very good plan. Murphy was snarking in the corner, and Raven was quickly losing her patience with him.

"Will you shut it!" She cried. Murphy turned to her, mock hurt on his face. 

"I'm just stating the truth." 

"No, you're not-" 

"What. You think Houdini Miller is gonna break through the panel, I think not." Murphy said scoffing. 

"Hey!" Miller cried affronted, "I don't see you doing anything." 

"Well at least I-" A loud noise from the ceiling cut him off. The vent door panel thingy above them was sliding open. 

"What's that.-" Harper said, she cut herself off, when a rope came down from the ceiling, and then someone was dropping to the ground. 

The figure shook her head and dusted her shoulders, flicking dirt and dust all over the room. 

"Clarke!" Octavia cried, throwing herself into the girl's arms. Clarke reprocated quickly, wrapping her arms around her. 

Bellamy took a step back to look at Clarke. Her hair was pulled back by an intricate sparkly headband, and she was wearing a blue flowery tight blouse and some white dress pants, that flared out at the end, clearly playing the part of a prime. However, her practical beige jacket, utility boots, and gun looped through her belt threw off the look. Octavia stepped back from Clarke and he surged forwards, his eyes finally meeting with Clarke. Brown eyes met Blue and he broke out into a relieved smile, stepping towards Clarke in long strides, and then he was hugging her. Burying his face into her neck, breathing her in. Clarke was gripping him back just as fiercely. Her little hands clutching his back desperately. He pulled back and looked into her face, needing to confirm that this was really his Clarke. 

" _Clarke_." he breathed cradling her face in his hands. She tilted her head a small smile playing on her lips. 

"Bellamy." she responded. 

"I-i. Thank god." Is all he could get out. Clarke let out a little laugh and he vowed that he'd try to get her to make that sound for the rest of his life. His moment was cut short by Clarke furrowing her brows a little and pulling back. He sent her a questioning look and she ducked her head, wiping her nose. She straightened up again, but he saw that flash of black on her hand. He quickly grabbed her wrist before she could hide it. His eyes widened. 

"Clarke- I this is blood, why are you bleeding?" He questioned. 

"Blood!" Abby exclaimed breaking him out of his reverie. 

"It's fine." Clarke said shrugging it off, but she swayed slightly which caught him and all of his friends off guard. 

"Like hell it is." Raven said surging forwards. Clarke broke out into a blinding smile upon seeing her. "Oi, that smile isn't distracting me" Raven said, well it sure distracted him. Clarke's smile faltered. 

"We don't have much time." She said as a way of explanation, "Josephine is fighting for control, hence the bleeding, so we've got to get out now. Come on." She said gesturing to the rope, and then she was in the vents, pulling them up.

The vents were cramped and dark, but Clarke's flashlight shone a light in front of them. They were all on their all fours crawling one by one in the dark space... 

"Ughh Clarke." Murphy whispered. She turned her head slightly towards Murphy, not able to turn completely to look at him. "I never even got to hug you." Murphy said. Clarke stumbled and faltered a little, not prepared for Murphy's comment. Many of the other's echoed his statement, and Clarke laughed quietly and a little uncomfortably, unused to the attention. 

"Umm well. I'm sure there will be time for proper reunions later." Clarke whispered, appeasing the many complaints going around like, "Bellamy got a whole minute... etc." Clarke sighed and shook her head a little, before she stopped abruptly and put her fingers to her lips. She gestured down and he vaguely made out Russel's figure below them. She held up a hand and then about a minute later she started forwards, signaling for them to move forward. It was completely silent now. Nobody was risking anything. Clarke stopped again and kicked out a panel. She threw a rope down, and slowly lowered herself to the ground. He was about to follow her down but she held up her hand. 

Instead, Clarke tiptoed around the room, and then slid open a panel in the wall. Huh. Another secret room. Two figures exited and he tensed, his friends doing the same. Clarke whispered with them and then nodded. 

He shared a look with his friends. Who were these people.... were they on their side... if so how did Clarke get them to help her? Clarke turned around and signaled for Bellamy to come down. He slid down the rope and analyzed the room, his friends right behind him. He had definetley never been here before. This was someone's home he realized with a start. He sent Clarke a questioning look, but she ignored him. 

"Come on." She whispered. Murphy shrugged and followed her into the secret room. Once everyone was in the room, Clarke slid the door closed and the two figures who were already there turned around. With a start, he realized they were Delilah's parents. 

"Thank you." Clarke whispered, Delilah's mother (He couldn't remember her name), simply grasped Clarke's forearm and shook her head 

"No." She said, " _Thank you_." The woman said vehemantly. "If it wasn't for you- I- we would never had learned the truth" 

* * *

Clarke turned to her friends, after having finished talking to Delilah's parents. She quickly grabbed the map of the palace she had nicked and unrolled it across the table in the center of the room gesturing for everyone to follow her. She had to get straight to business. She had no time dilly dally. It was clear that her friends wanted to "reunite" but there was no time. 

"Clarke" Abby questioned she ignored her, pointing at the map.

"Sorry, mom. We just don't have time." Abby furrowed her brow, but nodded. "Ok. We're here." She said circling a spot on the map. Her friends leaned in, and glanced back at her. "The palace balcony is here, where Russel will be gathering his people today." She said circling another spot on the map. "Gabrie- Shit. Shit. Gabriel." Her friends looked up at her in alarm. She brushed passed them darting to the radio. 

"Clarke Griffin to Gabriel Santiago. Come in." She radioed. She got an immediate response. 

"Clarke." Gabriel replied. "What happened, when you didn't radio in we thought-" she interrupted him. 

"Sorry I- i was somewhat forgetful," Bellamy shot her a look, she knew what it sounded like... she was never forgetful always sharp and on top of it. 

"Clarke." Gabriel warned. "Josephine is still fighting in your head you need to slow down-" 

"Gabriel." She interrupted glancing at her friends, but it was too late. Bellamy was snatching the radio out of her hands. 

"What do you mean Gabriel is still fighting in her head?" Bellamy questioned, keeping his eyes an her. 

"What I mean is that Clarke has two people occupying her mindspace right now and until we get the chip out she _should_ be taking it easy-" 

"We don't have time for me to be taking it easy!" She snapped. Her friends turned to her. 

"Clarke" Emori began. 

"No." she said. "Nope, we're moving forwards with the plan Gabriel." She snatched the radio out of Bellamy's hands. 

"Hey" He said. She glared at him. "Princess, Gabriel over her seems to think-" 

"It doesn't matter, i'm sick either way-" 

"Hold on" Murphy interrupted "What do you mean you're sick?" 

"Clarke." Her mother warned placing a hand on her forehead as if feeling for a temperature. 

"Clarke, we can handle it from here-" Kane began. 

"No." she interrupted "You can't handle it from here. I'm the reason we're all in this fucking mess, so I need to be the one to get us out of it." 

"What the hell does that mean?" Monty interrupted. She sighed running her fingers through her hair. They didn't have time for this right now. 

"Clarke" Harper began gently, "This is in no way your fault-" 

"We don't have time for this." She interrupted. 

"We can make time Clarke." Octavia said gruffly, "You need to get it through your thick skull that this is _not your fault._ " Clarke scoffed and turned looking to the map, someone gripped her arm and she turned face to face with Bellamy. 

"Clarke, honestly, you don't have to put the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time. This is in no way your fault." She sighed. 

"OK fine!" She snapped, "It's not my fault, happy now? God, we don't have time for this." She said sighing. She grabbed the radio before anybody had time to react. "Gabriel. I need an ETA." Gabriel sighed but complied. 

"30 minutes and then we'll be there." Clarke nodded. 

"Good keep me updated if anything comes up." and then she was done. "Ok. Raven I need you to hack into the Russel's computer and find the files that showed how the hosts died... all the human experiment, and then broadcast it above the balcony where Russel will be standing in 40 minutes. Can you do that?" 

"Do you even have to ask Griffin?" Raven said with a sharp grin. She shot her one in return, and then moved on with her planning. 

"The children of Gabriel will enter here." She continued, circling another spot, "and then we'll have different people leading groups surrounding the people of Sanctum." 

"Move your groups over." Bellamy interrupted. 

"What?" She questioned. 

"Move them over. Our troops aren't positioned properly there are too many blind spots." At her blank stare, he sighed, circling different spots on the map. "Have them here that way we're better concealed, but closer." 

"Well, the guards could come up right behind them." She argued, circling a spot Bellamy had chosen, "so that's stupid." 

"Well, it's better than your plan." Bellamy said shooting her a rogue grin

"Excuse me." 

"You heard me. My spots are better than yours." Clarke scoffed but didn't deny him. "I don't hear any comebacks princess." Bellamy teased, the familiar banter coming right back as if it had never disappeared. She tilted her chin up but didn't respond.

"I agree with hot-head over here." Diyoza said pointing at Bellamy, also looking over the plans. Clarke couldn't hide her grin.

"Hey." Bellamy said affronted. "That is not my new nickname."

"Uh I think it is, besides it fits." Diyoza retorted.

"I like it." Clarke said simply, and Diyoza grinned at her.

"Hey." Murphy said, stepping forwards. "Don't give captain crazy here the credit, I came up with nickname." 

Bellamy simply rolled his eyes and radioed Gabriel the new plan. "By the way." Bellamy said turning towards her, "Our earlier conversation isn't done Clarke." She rolled her eyes sending him a pointed look. 

_I think it is Bellamy_

Bellamy raised his eyebrows 

_Nahh princess, it's not_

She furrowed her brow and tilted her head,

_You think what you want to think Bellamy Blake_

A voice interrupted their staring contest. 

"Oi, will you two stop with the fucking mind reading- god I didn't miss that." Murphy snarked sending Bellamy a pointed look she couldn't decipher and then looking between them with raised eyebrows. She shook her head. 

"Right sorry." Murphy rolled his eyes and then they all got to work. 

* * *

"I do not like the plan."Bellamy said crouched in a corner with Murphy, Emori, and Octavia. They were leading one of the troops from the children of Gabriel and were hidden diagonally below the balcony where the Primes and Clarke would be. 

"You only dislike it because you're not with Clarke." Emori said. 

"Shut up Mori." He whispered back. She rolled her eyes. 

"You didn't deny it." Octavia said wiggling her eyebrows at him. He ignored her too, still looking straight forward. He glanced around and spotted the other troops. Indra, Niylah, and Miller's troop was across his. Kane, Diyoza, and Abby's troop were behind him, and Gabriel's troop was behind Indra's. 

Raven, Monty, and Jackson were in the control room, with Echo and Harper as backup. 

"We all know he's in looovvee." Murphy whisper sang. Emori opened her mouth to respond but shut it quickly when Clarke and the Primes entered the stage. The lights flickered slightly, a signal from Raven that she was in. 

Bellamy cocked his gun. This was it. The Primes reign would end today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry about the delay.... I hope you like this chapter. 
> 
> We are pretty much almost at the climax of the story! Hopefully you can expect a relatively quick update.... I know I know, I don't have the best track record... but I really can't leave you guys hanging here. ;p
> 
> Please Please Please comment about anything you want to see in the next chapter, or just comment in general. Your reviews make my day and are the main reason I still work on this story. I hope I can get this next chapter in by next Wednesday... that's my goal! 
> 
> Again please please please review... also I hope you guys liked Clarke's pov!


	10. The Primes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's plan begins

Chapter 9

_The Primes_

Clarke strutted onto the balcony, imitating Josephines proud walk with every step. Her "father", god that would never fail to make her feel sick, stood in the middle of the balcony, a charming grin plastered onto his long face.

The lights flickered. 

Raven was in.   
  


"Citizens of Sanctum." Russel began, "We are gathered here today toda-" The lights flickered again.

Clarke scanned the crowed looking for all of the projector things, that Raven had placed and spotted one on someone's balcony. The lights flickered again and then everything went dark.

The crowd below them began murmmering, and Clarke couldn't hide her triumphant grin when the silloute of a raven appeared behind them. 

"What?-" Russel began but was cut off by an image appearing on the wall behind him. His medical room where he tried to kill her to be exact. 

"Attempt number 1" The man on the screen said. She turned to look at Russel who's eyes were widening. The video kept going and a little girl was dragged into the room screaming and thrashing around like a fish out of water. 

"Please." The girl sobbed, " _Please"_ she chocked out again, and Clarke had to look away. Instead she focused on the crowd, who all wore various degrees of shock on their face. The video ended and another one started up again, this time with Delilah being pushed into the room. God.   
  


She didn't want to watch this. It was cruel, but having the people of Sanctum see what happened to Delilah was probably the only way they could convince them.

Delilah was being strapped onto the chair, and there were tears running down her face. 

"Wait." she said, " _Wait!_... _please_ I don't want to die. You lied, you said I'd get to survive." The girl hissed. Russel appeared on screen and that seemed to snap out the primes around her. Russel jolted waving his hands up. 

"SHUT IT OFFFF!" He bellowed to the crowd, to no avail. "Guards!" He yelled, but nobody payed him any attention to enraptured with the video of Delilah dying right in front of them. 

"MY _baby"_ Delilah's mother cried falling into her husbands arms and the trance was broken. The video stopped a raven appeared and then everything erupted into chaos. The people of Sanctum were roaring. Some were sobbing, like Delilah's mother as the realization came to them, some looked numb, but most- most looked angry. 

"Enough!" Russel roared.

Everything froze for a second- and then the people were screaming again, Russel had lost them. 

"GUARDS!" He commanded fruitlessly.

Priya and Ryker seemed to realize everything was going to shit and were attempting to run away, but the crowd spotted them immediately. 

"Josephine." Russel hissed- "Lets go." Clarke didn't budge. "Josephine Now!" Instead she grabbed her gun and pointed it at the man in front of her. 

BANG   
  
BANG   
  
BANG 

Clarke whipped her head around and saw Priya and Ryker and one other prime fall to the ground... dead.

* * *

"What's going on out there?!?" Murphy yelled over the screams around them- he was interrupted by three shots ringing out. 

"Shit!" Octavia yelled from beside him. 

"Clarke!" Bellamy yelled. "Where the hell is she!?"

"I don't fucking know!" Murphy shouted right back. 

"Shut the hell up!" Emori yelled "She was at the balcony a second ago, but I can't tell where she is now." 

"We need to find her," Miller said running over to them, out of breath. "Three primes just went down, these people are furious, and they're going to think she's Josephine." 

"Fucking Clarke, always getting herself in trouble." Murphy said, rubbing his hand over her forehead. 

"Lets go!" Bellamy ordered, weaving his way through the crowd. 

It was chaos all around him. 

People were shouting. 

A building was on fire. 

Three primes were dead on the floor. 

Clarke was nowhere to be seen. 

That last thing worried him the most. He needed to find her and fast. 

"There!" Octavia said. He looked up and saw her. She was in the corner of the balcony her gun pointed at Russel. 

"Is she going to kill him?" Emori questioned. 

"I hope so, the sick pshyco deserves it." Murphy said muttering under his breath. Bellamy wholeheartedly agreed with his statement. 

"I don't know. But we have to get to her and fast." Bellamy said.

BANG 

BANG

More shots. They were running around crazily, like drunk ducks, always getting blocked. Never making it to the stairs to the balcony. 

An ear piercing screech filled the area and Bellamy winced covering his hears. He looked up and Clarke was standing tapping a microphone in her hand.

"ENOUGH!" She yelled her voice cutting through the violence. 

"My name is Clarke Griffin and I died 1 day ago paralyzed and alone on a cold metal chair, just like every single one of your black blooded friends and family who went through a naming ceremony." 

He flinched at the blunt harsh words, but it was working. Clarke had caught everyone's attention. 

"Miraculously, I survived... but nobody else was that lucky, and those people deserve Justice! Delilah deserves justice! Your family and friends deserve justice! But this," she said gesturing around her. "Is not the way to do it." She sighed brushing her golden halo of hair out of her face. 

"We are the last of the human race!" she bellowed, "and we will not kill ourselves off. We can find a way to live together, Wonkru, Elegius, Sanctum, and the Children of Gabriel. I implore you to stop. We can rebuild together if we put our weapons down." Clarke took a step back and then he was running up the stairs to her. His friends not far behind him. 

Russel was lying unmoving on the floor next to her. 

" _Clarke_." he said rehverantly, stopping right in front of her. He held her face in his hands and searched her for injuries, exhaling in relief when he found none. 

"I didn't kill him." She said. He furrowed his brow in confusion. 

"You should've done." Murphy pipped up from behind them. Clarke turned to look at him, and Bellamy dropped his hands from her cheeks. Already missing the feel of her skin under his hands. Clarke turned and watched as Indra and Wonkru grabbed Russel's unconcious form, probably locking him up somewhere. Oddly enough, Russel was the only prime that survived. 

He didn't have any sympathy for the ones that died. Clarke leaned into his side and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. 

"Hey!" Octavia said. "You don't get to hog Clarke hugs, you've already hugged her." Bellamy rolled his eyes and released Clarke. Octavia immediately wrapped her arms around the shorter blonde. Soon enough it was hugs all around.

They were all weirdly sentimental, and this was definetly the most touchy he had ever seen his friends. Clarke still looked vaguely uncomfortable with all the attention on her, but they were all too happy about her being alive to worry too much about that.

"Clarke!" A familiar voice called out hobbling up the stairs. He and Clarke both turned around to see Raven and her group making it up to the balcony.

The two women immedietly hugged, and Bellamy couldn't help but think of how far they had come from when they first got up to space. They released each other and Kane went to hug Clarke. 

The two were an interesting pair. Clarke and Kane were very alike in some ways, and It was obvious that Kane thought of Clarke as a sort of daughter. 

"Ok enough with the hugs." Murphy said after Clarke finished her last hug, "this is just getting sappy and pathetic." 

"You're just mad because Clarke is the only person in the world that could stomach hugging you." Raven quipped back.

Murphy simply flipped her off, Clarke grinned and then her brows furrowed together. 

He raised an eyebrow at her, and she inclined her head towards him. 

"Does anyone know if Madi is alright?" she questioned.

"Madi's with gaia in the children of Gabriel territory, and she's perfectly safe." Kane said, soothing her worries. 

Clarke visibly relaxed at that, and smiled softly. Bellamy gravitated towards her again, already wanting to pull her into his arms.

Miller smirked at him, clearly knowing exactly what he was trying to do when Clarke groaned and swayed clutching her head. 

"Woahhhh." Murphy said, holding her arms and keeping her steady. Clarke immediatly slumped in his hold resting her forehead on his shoulder. 

"She's still in my head." Clarke muttered. 

"Shit!" Octavia exclaimed. 

"Clarke why didn't you say anything?" Raven questioned. Clarke just muttered something inelegably and Bellamy pulled her out of Murphy's grasp so that he could hold onto her instead.

"We need to get to medical." Bellamy said. "Somebody get Abby and Jackson there now." Clarke was still concious, but not for long. She already had a trail of black blood running down her nose. 

Clarke took a step forwards. 

"Clarke, hey, let me help you." Clarke simply waved him off and kept walking. 

He quickly stepped back to her side. 

"Would you please just let me help you." He said, trying to remain calm. 

"I got it." Clarke said stubborn as ever. He simply sighed, but wrapped an arm around her waist, steadying her. 

She glared at him, and he grinned cockily back at her. 

"I know, I know, the princess doesn't need any help." Her eyes narrowed, but she made no indication that she wanted him to remove his arm, plus it was helping her, whether she'd admit it or not. 

Eventually they made it to medical, and Clarke leaned back onto the chair, Abby and Jackson were flittering around the room grabbing things and monitoring that, he honestly couldn't keep up. On top of it Murphy and Octavia decided to come in the room as well, and were constantly throwing him pointed looks and making sarcastic comments. 

He was very close to snapping at the two of them. 

"Out!" Abby shouted all of a sudden. He turned wide eyed to her. "Out, out, out! Shoo!" she said waving her hands. "It's too many people and way to much noise, go wait in the hall with the others." 

"Abby." Murphy tried, but he was shut down. He sighed and left the room Octavia right behind him. Abby turned her stare towards the only two people left besides her and Jackson. 

"Bellamy, Marcus, you two are not absolved." Both men spluttered indignantly, but left as well. 

Bellamy was pacing. 

Back and forth and back and forth. He couldn't hear what was happening but he could see through the glass window, and he was scared. 

God he was so scared, but everything seemed to be going fine. 

"Bellamy, for fuck's sake, stop pacing your stressing everyone out." Murphy interrupted suddenly. Bellamy glared at him, but slumped down into a chair besides him. It had only been 10 minutes but he was still worried. Suddenly there was a flurry of action from behind the glass window and he stood up, craning to see what was going on. 

Clarke shot up, sitting up right and glanced around the room. Her mom immedietly hugged her, and in that moment he knew that Clarke was fine, and that she would be fine for a while. Everyone in the hallway let out a collective breath of relief. 

Clarke was alive, and he'd be damned if he ever let anything like this happen again. 

* * *

She got to leave medical after an hour, but not without execisive hovering from all her friends. Sanctum was... she didn't really know what it was.   
  


Russel was locked up, and all the other primes were dead.

The people of Sanctum were angry and mourning and reeling all at once, but Clarke had hope that they would become a community again. She had hope for peace. She glanced around the field and then she spotted her. 

Madi. 

The little girl was flying to her, her long black her whipping behind her. 

"Clarke!" she yelled, and then they collided. She groaned at the impact.

"Hi Madi." She said softly. She knelt down and then they were both on the ground hugging each other. Her shirt was slowly but surely becoming soaked, and Clarke knew Madi was crying. 

She buried her face into her neck, as her little hiccups continued. 

" _Hey."_ She said lifting up Madi's chin so she could look her in the eye. "It's okay, we're all ok Mads." Madi gave her a watery smile and then buried her face in her hair again. 

The two of them sat like that until eventually Madi let go, except she still slipped her hand into her own. When Clarke looked at her, she was sharply reminded of the little six year old girl she found all those years ago. 

"Come on." Clarke said, "Lets see if we can find something sweet to eat, I think we deserve it." Madi grinned and then the two of them took off to the pub. 

On the way there, they picked up Bellamy who was suspicuosly very close. Bellamy had barely left her side directly after surgery, and it seemed that he still wanted to be close. 

She couldn't help but think about how much she liked his company, but she shot that thought down. Bellamy had a girlfriend, and she couldn't forget that. 

While they were walking Clarke hung back while Madi talked to Murphy and Emori. She leaned close to him and whispered.

"You were there for all of that weren't you." It wasn't a question. Bellamy flushed and sputtered until he turned to her and noticed her teasing grin and raised eyebrow. 

"Oh, that was not cool princess, not cool." He said, rolling his eyes exahasparadly. Clarke laughed, the sound bright and airy. 

"You should've seen your face!" She said through her laughter. 

"Oh ha, ha, very funny Clarke." Bellamy said dryly, but his crinkled eyes gave him away. 

She grinned up at him and something in his expression changed, her grin slowly slipped off her face as he towered over her, staring into her blue eyes. 

He was much too close, she could feel his breath tickle her. 

He opened his mouth and then- 

"And we have made it to the pub!" Murphy said with a wide grin and grand arms. The moment was broken, Clarke jolted and Bellamy cleared his throught awkwardly rubbing his hand behind his neck.

She hurried forward and entered the pub. She glanced back and Bellamy was scowling at Murphy, who was grinning like the chesire cat... weird. 

Madi was rifling through the freezer and then she grinned. It seemed she found what she was looking for. 

"Clarke!" She exclaimed, "It's ice cream, like the thing you told me you read about in a book on the ark!" Madi pulled out 5 tubs of ice cream, and then turned to her again. "Comeee oonnnn Clarke." Madi whined. 

"I'm coming, i'm coming." she responded. 

"I found ice cream cones!" Murphy exclaimedm triumphantly holding a box of ice cream cones, apparantly, over his head. 

"Grab a spoon." Madi ordered, "That way we can scoop the ice cream." Murphy grinned and saluted, 

"Sir yes sir." Madi rolled her eyes, and placed the tubs of ice cream on the counter. 

"What ice cream flavor do you think everyone wants?" Madi question.

"Who exactly are you making ice cream for Mads?" Clarke questioned. 

"Everyone of course." Madi said, rolling her eyes. 

"Duh Clarke." Bellamy added on, poking her in the side. 

"Now." Madi said, crossing her arms,"What flavour do you want Clarke?" 

"Madi," Clarke started, "You don't have to make me-" 

"I want to." Clarke sighed and then scanned the tubs. 

"How about a scoop of strawberry" Madi smiled and nodded. 

"Coming right up!" She said,"Now Clarke you go sit right there, and don't move." Then she was flurrying around the kitchen. She paused and then said, "Everyone else, make your own ice cream." 

Murphy groaned dramatically. 

"Madi, nooooooo, how could you make me do something so difficult." Madi simply glared and continued scooping the strawberry ice cream. 

"Out of the way Bellamy." Madi said, shoving past Bellamy who was in the middle of scooping his chocolate ice cream. His whole scoop fell straight onto the platter, with a sticky splat and Clarke couldn't hide her grin. 

"Shut up Clare." Bellamy muttered, and she grinned. 

"Clarke do you want sprinkles?" Madi questioned holding up three different bottles of sprinkles.

"Sure madi." She replied. 

"Which ones?" Madi questioned, Clarke scanned them quickly. 

"The rainbow one of course." Madi grabbed the rainbow sprinkles and then put an absurd amount on her ice cream. 

"Would you like caramel or chocolate sauce?" Madi questioned. 

"No thanks madi." Madi moved around again, and Bellamy sat down to the left of her, proudly holding up his plain chocolate ice cream. 

"voilà!" Madi exclaimed proudly holding up both of their ice creams. Clarke grabbed her strawberry one, and Madi held onto her extravagant vanilla, with chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, marshmellows, and sprinkles. 

"Thanks Madi." she said, choosing to not comment on the insane amount of sugar Madi was about to eat. Madi, it seemed noticed her stare, and rolled her eyes for what felt like the 100th time. 

"Mines not _that_ bad. You should see Murphy's." Clarke looked at her scepticaly, and low and behold Murphy came striding in. He had three scoops of ice cream, one chocolate, one vanilla, and one strawberry. It was coated in sprinkles and both chocolate and caramel sauce. Topped with some whip cream and a cherry. 

Her eyes widened, and she shared a look with Bellamy that had the both giggling like teenagers into their ice cream. 

"Stop judging." Murphy said, "My ice cream is an. extravagan-"

"I heard there was ice cream!" Octavia shrieked running into the room. Murphy muttered something under his breath, and then soon enough everyone was there." All her friends and family were laughing and eating ice cream, something so domestic and sweet that it made her heart clench. 

She never thought she would get this. 

"Stop thinking so hard." Bellamy said leaning over to her, whispering in her ear. She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. 

Splat!  
  


An entire chunk of icecream hit her directly in the shoulder. The room went silent. 

She narrowed her eyes looking for the culprit, Octavia was shifting guiltly on her feet. Clarke carefully scooped up the ice cream and through it right back at her. 

Octavia shrieked as the ice cream landed in her hair. 

"Oh it is so on Clarke." And with that chaos erupted.

* * *

1 month later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... I ended on a cliffhanger, sorry! Fair warning next chapter's cliffhanger might be even bigger depending on how I decide to conclude the chapter. Also shits about to hit the fan, and if you thought addressing Clarke's trauma and shit was over, oh boy your in for a suprise. 
> 
> Side note, the anamoly doesn't exist here. Sorry not sorry, I hate the plot of sesaon 7 and the whole transcendance deal. also #JusticeforBellamyBlake 
> 
> Anyways, please please please comment! Comments and kudos literally make my entire day and are the reason I keep writing. I honestly can't even express how much they mean to me, and how lovely it is to know that people like something I wrote. This is my first ever fic, and I know i'm pretty slow with updates, but your feedback and love for this story is so great! Thank you all so much!
> 
> Ok, ok, I swear I'm gonna try to update it faster... but with school and stuff, it gets hard to do that.


	11. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and co adapt...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh sorry this is so late!

Chapter 10 

_Blood_

_1 month later..._

"Clarke!" Octavia yelled from her bedroom. "Hurry up, we're going to be late!"  
  


Clarke slipped on her silky purple dress and slipped out of the bathroom hastily grabbing her silver flats.  
"I'm coming, i'm coming." she said running around the room grabbing her stuff. 

"Clarke, flats? Really. Those are so not in right now. Heels are way cuter." Octavia said frowning. 

"Well heels are a pain in my ass so- no." Octavia simply groaned again. 

"I swear to god Clarke. Hurry the fuck up." 

"Hey!" she snapped whipping her head around to look at Octavia. "Little ears." She chided pointing at Madi, who was excitedly watching the two. 

"Oh come on Clarke," she said rolling her eyes, "You and I both know I've heard worse." Clarke narrowed her eyes and Madi grinned cheekily, "Are you sure I _can't_ come?" Madi whined. 

Clarke sighed, they had this argument about fifty times now. 

"Madi we are going to a club- I don't think that's an appropriate place for a twelve year old. Besides there's a barbecue party next week at my mom's that we can go to. Go pick out a movie or something to watch with Gaia." Madi frowned. 

"But Gaia is soooo booring." Madi whined. 

Clarke sighed for the umpteenth time. Madi was almost a teen, and she knew that child would be unbearable, after all she was called the kid from hell for a reason. She wanted to stay annoyed with her, but a part of Clarke's heart would always clench at Madi just being a child. Because for a long time Clarke didn't think she'd ever get that. 

The peace won here at Sanctum came relatively quickly. After a week of negotiations, all of their problems seemed to dissapear. They had instituted a council, much like on the ark, except fair. There was no one person in charge anymore. There were representitives from Sanctum, Skycruu, Trikru, Azgeda, The children of Gabriel. It was fair, and it was just. 

A month later and Clarke was trying to adjust to this new found domesticity. Things were still weird yes, but good. She didn't feel that hopelessness as much anymore. 

"Clarke!" Octavia said clapping her hands in front of her. "Come on, we are going to be late, and I really want to see Gabriel's face when I walk in." Octavia said grinning slyly. 

Octavia was wearing a tight sparkly gold dress with a slit down her thigh and one sleeve cut off, it was very Octavia. 

"Aww ewww, gross! Auntie O!" Madi said, wrinkling her nose up, and glaring at her. 

Auntie O was a knew development. Oddly enough Madi had forgiven Octavia before any of her other friends. Besides Murphy of course. Clarke knew that Madi still didn't fully trust everyone, to be honest Clarke didn't truly either, sometimes she felt like they were only nice to her because they felt guilty. She pushed down the thought. Madi would take time, but she was getting there, Clarke couldn't bring her down by projecting her on relacutance to trust people on her. 

When Madi called Octavia, Auntie O for the first time, O cried. It was heartwarming. Murphy was furious of course, claiming that he too should be called Uncle Murphy, Madi gave him an unimpressed stare, and Murphy looked affronted. 

"Uncle Murphy sounds like you should be mature. You're not." Madi stated deadpanned. Poor Murphy looked so offended, and then the two of them started a prank war which lasted for a week until Clarke and Raven pranked them both so bad they were scared to continue. 

Octavia wiggled her eyebrows at Madi who through a pillow at her face. 

"Enough children." Clarke admonished with a grin. She kissed Madi on the her forehead and then they were off, leaving her room, and walking into the hallway of the huge house they had. 

Sanctum was filled with huge spacious homes, and everyone quickly claimed some of them. 

Abby and Kane opted for their own little modern/cottage house. Indra, Diyoza, Gaia, Niylah, and curiously enough Echo were also sharing a house. That group was a bit of an odd one, but they strangely worked. Gaia, Niylah, and Echo all grew close together, a strange twist that nobody had called. Jackson and Miller also opted for their own house. While the rest of them shared one huge house. 

Clarke, Madi, Octavia, Bellamy, Raven, Murphy, Emori, Monty, and Harper all lived together. Suffice to say the house was huge. There were four floors. Monty and Harper's bedroom and Raven's bedroom was on the second floor. Murphy and Emori's bedroom, and Octavia's bedroom was on the third floor. Clarke's bedroom, Madi's bedroom, and Bellamy's bedroom was on the fourth floor.   
  
The first floor was a communal area, with a dining room, kitchen, living room and then a nice porch. Raven was currently working on fixing up the basement so that they could use it as a movie room and put in a pool table. They also had a huge backyard which Madi adored. 

The house was wonderful, and literally everything Clarke could've dreamed of. 

"Come on Clarkeee" Octavia said practically pulling her down the stairs. She laughed and met the others downstairs by the door. 

"Well well Reyes, you sure clean up nice." Clarke said grinning. 

"And you Griffin." Raven said looping an arm around her. She grinned

"Who are we waiting for now?" Murphy said impatiently, "I want to get drunk." 

"Patience." Octavia said patting the top of Murphy's head, "Patience is the key."

"Says the person who literally dragged me down the stairs." Octavia glared at her. 

"Oh whatever Clarke." Octavia said tossing her hair back. Clarke and Raven shared a look.

"Finally." Octavia said, ignoring her own words, when her brother walked to the front door. 

Bellamy stopped for a second in front of her, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"You uh- you look nice." She grinned at him, and fixed the color of his button down shirt. When she looked up she took a startled step back. 

"You shaved!" she said, somewhat shocked. He looked so much younger, yet the same age at the same time. His jaw line was much more defined looking, and there were about a million freckles on his face that she could see again. He looked- he looked good. He looked really really good. 

"Like it?" Bellamy said with a cocky grin. 

"Oh lord save me now." Murphy muttered under his breath, though he made no move to leave. 

At her silence he seemed to grow a bit more nervous, rubbing a hand on his jaw somewhat self conciously. 

"I mean- it'll grow back." he muttered. 

"No!" she exclaimed, Raven snickered behind her. "I mean, I like it, I mean well um it looks really good." She finished lamely growing more flustered by the second. 

Bellamy seemed to pick up on that immediatly and his cocky grin was back in full force. He leaned down slightly, god he towered over her. 

"Am I making you nervous Clarke?" He questioned, his eyes sparkling.The look on his face right now reminded of her of the dropship days and "brave princess", god he was so annoying back then. All right, if this was the game he was going to play, she was in. 

She looked up at him and then. 

"We're here!" Harper called, with Monty trailing behind her, her heels clutched in his hands. The moment was broken and Bellamy straightened up, but not without shooting her one last look. 

"Oh for fucks sake." Murphy muttered. "Why does everyone always interrupt right when we're getting to the good parts." Emori elbowed him in the gut hissing something about subtlty. 

Six hours later found Clarke vomiting in a bathroom. 

"Why doesn't" hiccup "Why doesn't he want me?" Murphy pulled her hair out of her face. 

"Shhh Clarke." Raven soothed.

Murphy however stilled.

"Clarke what did you just say?" Raven glared at him.

"Why the hell are you trying to get her to talk while she's vomiting over the toilet."

"Will you shut the fuck up for two seconds Raven."

"Excuse me?"

Clarke's vomiting interrupted both of them. After she stopped vomiting again, Murphy started talking. 

"Clarke." Vomit.

"Can you tell me what happened?" 

"I-" hiccup "It's like Finn all over again." Raven stiffened, her hand stilling. 

"Clarke. What does that mean?" She questioned sharing a look with Murphy.

"I keep- I keep convincing myself that he wants me but he doesn't. He doesn't. He's with Echo. What's wrong with me? What is wrong with me. Bellamy is dating Echo- and I-" Murphy interrupted her. 

"You think Bellamy is dating Echo." Murphy said, with a tinge in his voice she couldn't quite place. 

"Yes? I mean I've been avoiding him because otherwise my feelings would be too obvious" All of a sudden Clarke's head snapped up. "Don't say anything! You can't- it would ruin everything." Raven sighed, and then looked at her. 

"Why do you think that?" Clarke gazed at her unamusedly. 

"I just saw them together. Literally ten minutes ago at the bar. Besides it's not like they ever broke up or anything, hell I knew that when we were in space. Remember?" At Raven and Murphy's blank look she elaborated. "Bellamy didn't let Echo come to the ground with us because he was being all protective, they're dating." 

"You think that's why Bellamy didn't want her to come with us?" Murphy questioned increduosly. "What the fuck Griffin, he didn't want her to come because after he found out that she literally tried to ki-" 

"Enough Murphy." Raven interrupted with a harsh look. 

Clarke was too drunk to understand what she was saying. 

Raven sighed audibly and then muttered something under her breath. 

"Ok Clarke. I'm going to take you home now, you're clearly drunk. I do not envy your hangover right now." 

"Fucking Blake." Murphy said, muttering under his breath, "literal idiot, complaining to me about how he thought Clarke was avoiding him, when the only reason she was distancing himself is because she thought he was still dating Echo. Idiot. Idiot. All my hard work, and for what?'

"Murphy I swear to god I'm going to kill you." Raven interrupted. 

"I gave Bellamy advice on his love life! And it was all pointless Raven, pointless, because he's a bafoon, Moron. The both of them. Complete morons!" 

"We're here, thank god." 

Clarke's head hit her pillow and she fell asleep before she could even say thank you. 

The next morning found her rubbing her eyes wearily and trudging down the stairs to the kitchen. 

"Well, well, well." Murphy drawled while flipping a pancake. "Look who's up." 

All eyes in the kitchen snapped to her, and Clarke realized with a start that she was the last person downstairs which never happened. She groaned and tried to stifle a yawn. 

"Madi, never ever drink." Madi nodded seriously.

"Of course I wouldn't want to end up looking like that." Madi said gesturing towards her with a grin. Clarke was too hungover to chide her. Fortunately, Harper was not. 

"Madi be nice to your mom." Madi smirked mischevously at her. Clarke found an empty seat at the table next to Monty and Harper and across from Bellamy and Raven. 

"So Clarke, what do you remember from last night?" Raven questioned, always getting straight to the point. At her question everyone's attention was firmly on her. Bellamy, specifically. 

"Not much, everything seems like a blur right now." Raven shared a look with Murphy. 

"So you don't remember _anything_?" At that Clarke sat a little bit straighter. 

"Should I?" More shared glances. "Wait wait wait, I didn't do anything horribly embarrising right? Guys?" she prompted. Bellamy cleared his throat. 

"Nope, you just got super drunk but that's about it." He said, however she could feel that something was missing. After that, everything seemed to return to normal.

Clarke ate her pancakes and then got ready for the rest of the day, when last nights events came tumbling down. Seeing Echo and Bellamy at the bar together, dancing with some random Sanctum people, and then vomiting in a bathroom with Murphy and Raven. She stormed back down the stairs 

"I made a complete fool of myself."She announced to the entire room. Murphy grinned. 

"Awww looks like the princess remembers." Clarke groaned and flopped down onto the coach. 

"Jesus how will I ever be able to look at that poor Sanctum citizen again." Raven laughed.

"Hun, I think that Sanctum citizen had the best night of his life." Clarke flushed beat red, and Bellamy stiffened. 

"Kill me now." 

"Gladly." Murphy deadpanned, Harper glared at him. 

"I am no longer sorry that I threw up on you." At that Murphy looked offeneded. He threw the towel that was drapped over his shoulder down like an angry soccer mom. 

"Well fine then, next time I'll just let you pass out on the floor." 

"Bite me."

"Woahh there," Harper said. "Lets all chill out." Clarke sat up straight and glanced at Bellamy, who sat stiff and stock still. 

"Well I'm going to go out to the vegtable garden near the library, anybody want to come." 

"I'll come." Bellamy said, albeit a bit gruffly. Madi and Murphy grinned at eachother, and Monty sat a little bit straighter, nudging Raven. Clarke ignored them and the two of them set off. 

"So... the weather's nice." Clarke said, trying to break the silence. Bellamy's lips quirked up and he glanced at her, 

"The weather's nice?" he questioned increduosly. Her head was still pounding from the hangover. 

"Oh shut up." she mumbled shoving him in the arm. He mock rubbed at it, glaring at her playfully. She rolled her eyes at him. His eyes dropped down to her lips, and he swallowed hard. 

"I'm not dating Echo. We broke up ages ago, before we even came down to sanctum." 

"Oh." she glanced up at him and his eyes were boring straight into hers. There was a light thump at the back of her head and she fiddled with the collar of his shirt. 

"Clarke." he said swallowing hard once again. "I- I, I really really like you. Please tell me you feel the same." Her eyes snapped up to him again and he cradled her face with his big hands. 

A slow grin was forming on her face when Bellamy's eyes widened a look of horror dawning on him. "Clarke. Clarke you're bleeding." She tilted her head confused. He swiped his thumb under her nose collecting the blood that was starting to flow from there. 

All of a sudden she felt lightheaded and she swayed almost falling over. Bellamy caught her bringing her close to his cheast and lowering them onto the floor. 

"Hey, hey Clarke. Clarke what's wrong." He was talking urgently but it all sounded under water. Her eyes were starting to glaze. 

She put her hand on his face and pushed a curl out of his face while Bellamy started yelling. 

"Bell, I really like you too." His head snapped back to hers and she could see the fear in his eyes, it was palpable.

"Clarke." He sounded strangled. "No hey, hold on. Hold on." His hands were flying urgently over her body and her eyes were starting to flutter. "HELP." he yelled, people stopped in the street. "Somebody help me! I need a doctor. _Please_." 

"Clarke stay with me. Clarke. HELP!" She smiled at him and the last thing she saw was his anguished face swimming above her when she finally let the dark consume her. 

"Clarke!" Bellamy yelled, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He turned and saw Murphy running to them. He slid in right next to Clarke and immediatly put his hand on his neck to feel for pulse.

Raven was limping but hurrying along a little behind and Harper was running to the medbay to hopefully grab a doctor.

"What the hell happened?" Murphy practically growled. Bellamy lifted his head, his tears blurring his vision. 

"I don't know- I don't- I don't." 

"Out of my way!" A voice called out, _Abby_. 

Murphy was violently shoved and then Abby was kneeling next to him. She turned to him all hard eyes. 

"Bellamy can you lift her?" He nodded, "We need to get to the medbay now." She turned to the crowd around her. "Somebody find Gabriel!" she ordered. 

Bellamy gently scooped Clarke into his arms, and pressed her to his chest. Close enough to hear her heart beating. 

"Murphy get to the medbay and tell Jackson to set up an IV." 

"Bellamy?" Octavia questioned from somewhere. He ignored her. 

"Somebody find Madi." Abby snapped shoving people out of her way. 

The doors to the medbay were shoved open and Jackson was gesturing for them to come in.

They hurried into the first room, were Bellamy set her down on a bed. Abby and Jackson immediatly setting off to work. 

Bellamy stepped back, and he was shoved into the hallway. Thankfully the medbay had glass windows so he could still see what was going on. 

Someone placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, violently. He turned and all of his friends were in the hall. Octavia was staring with wide glassy eyes, her hands over her mouth probably to cover a sob. 

"Bellamy." Monty said gently. He slumped and slid into one of the uncomfortable hard chairs. He looked up. 

"Madi?" He questioned, his voice hoarse. Emori looked at him kindly, masking her own fear. 

"She's with Niylah right now, but I expect she'll storm her way in here eventually. The doors burst open and Miller and Gabriel stormed in. Miller lingered in the hall, while Gabriel went to work. 

"What the hell happened?" he questioned. Bellamy just buried his head in hands and they all sat or stood out there in tense silence. He glanced up again and analyzed the room. Everybody was here. 

Octavia was standing and staring into the room were Clarke was. Miller had his head pressed against the wall. Murphy was pacing. Monty, Harper, and Emori were sitting with their heads bowed together holding hands. Echo stood at the door near the exit, leaning slightly against the wall, her expression unreadable. 

A heavily pregnant Diyoza sat next to Indra. Both of them sat still, with a warriors grace, but it was clear that they were bracing themselves for bad news. Kane stared at the wall, not speaking, and Gaia was whispering prayers in the corners. 

What felt like hours later Jackson opened the door and entered the hallway. Everybody straightened, staring at him. 

"Well." Murphy snapped. Jackson sighed. 

"She's stable..." at their prying looks he continued talking. "I think you should come inside." Bellamy swallowed and stood following him into the room. 

She looked so pale. Not in that cute Clarke way that he loved, no she looked sick. There were dark bags under her eyes, and it hurt him to see her like this. 

"What's wrong with her?" Octavia questioned. 

Abby wearily rubbed her eyes, and Gabriel stepped forwards his eyes gentle.

"Her brain, her mind has been under too much stress, and it's deteriorating. From having the flame in her head, the mind drive chip, fighting off Josephine, and the unknown consequences of her surviving Primfaya with artificial black blood. It's impossible to pinpoint the exact reason as to whether just one of those things or all of them caused this. Making it even hard to figure out how to treat."

"Is there anything we could've done?" Harper questioned. Gabriel shook his head sadly. 

"No, there's nothing you could've done to prevent this. It just happened to happen today but it had nothing to do with her drinking or partying, it would've happened even if she had been on bed rest." It didn't make Bellamy feel any better. 

"Can we save her?" Monty voiced the question everyone wanted to know. 

  
"Yes." Abby spoke from across the room. 

"Abby." Gabriel warned, the woman ignored her. 

"We can save her." 

"It's unethical Abby, we don't have Clarke's consent." 

"I don't care." She snapped. "I don't care Gabriel, my daughter is dying on that bed and if this is the only thing I can do that will save her. You're damn sure I'll do it."

"We don't have any of the right technology left." Gabriel argued. 

"Raven can fix it, and we can use the big room across the hall."

"I can fix anything." Raven assured, not even knowing what they were talking about. 

"Abby?" Kane questioned. 

Abby turned to look at them, tilting her chin upwards, her decision already made. 

"Clarke's brain is deteriorating, we need to pinpoint what exactly is causing that, and where it is. However, this problem, this anomaly, lies in her mind. The only way to access that would be to go into her mindspace, but we can't put another person in a mind drive and in Clarke, that would kill her. We need to be able to project and read Clarke's mindspace, and we have the technology to do that. We'd have to go into her mindspace and look through her memories to find the one thing that is off and rapidly growing. We'd be able to see what she saw and we would be able to see how she felt. Then we'd have to find a way to stop it." 

"Isn't that... an invasion of privacy?" Harper said hesitantly. 

"Yes." Gabriel interrupted, "It is. We would be looking into her mind and her memories and her feelings without her consent." 

"But if we don't do it she'll die!" Abby said glaring back. Gabriel sighed. 

"And it wouldn't just be one person. We would need a lot of people. Abby, Jackson, and I would have to be focused purely on her vitals. Raven would be on the computer with the tech and she'd need at least one or two people to be there to help her. We also need people who are only focusing on things like her feelings or the setting. We'd also need the people who know her the best to be watching, and we'd need unbiased rational people to be there. So it wouldn't just be one person going into her mindspace, it would be almost all of us in this room." 

"I won't lose my daughter." 

"I know Abby," Gabriel sighed, " I just want everyone to be aware of what we are doing." 

"So we are doing this?" Monty questioned. 

"Yes Monty, we are." Abby said, her voice offering no argument. Nobody moved to say anything else, everyone unsure of what to do, so Kane stepped forward. 

"We need to figure out who is going to do what, who's staying and who's going." Kane said, nobody spoke so Kane kept talking. "Lets figure out who we know for sure is staying. Obviously Jackson, Abby, and Gabriel need to stay. Raven do you need anybody else to stay with you for tech."

"Monty and Emori, I might need help, and they know what they're doing." Raven replied.

"Alright, Raven, Monty, and Emori are also staying. I can focus purely on the setting, and somebody else can focus purely on what she's feeling."

"I can do that." Harper said stepping forwards. Kane nodded. 

"Ok, we also need people who know Clarke well. Obviously Bellamy is staying-"

"I'm staying too." Murphy said, nobody argued with him. Murphy had to stay, even Bellamy knew it. Murphy was the one who noticed that Clarke was doing horribly that day that felt ages ago on the dropship. He could read Clarke so well. 

"I've known Clarke since we were babies." Miller said stepping forwards, "longer then most of the people in this room. I'm staying." Kane nodded. 

"Me too." 

"Octavia." Kane warned. 

"No." she snapped, "I know how that girl feels, I know what it's like to have everybody in the whole world hate you. You know I need to be here." Kane nodded, albeit hesitantly. 

"Niylah should also be here." Indra said from the back,"Have Gaia stay with Madi" Gaia opened her mouth to protest, but Indra merely held up a hand to stop her, "She is the only person who was with Clarke when she left after the mountain. She needs to be here." 

"Indra and I should stay as well." Diyoza said stepping forwards. "Clarke's memories are not going to be pretty." she said bluntly, Bellamy flinched at the thought. "You need people who are not going to dwell on that, to analyze from a non-personal level. Indra and I can do that. You also need people who aren't going to let their personal biases get in the way." Diyoza finished, glancing not so subtly at Raven who crossed her arms defensively. 

"I should stay as well." Echo started. 

"No." Bellamy interrupted his voice gruff. 

"Bellamy-" 

"You tried to kill her, for no fucking reason Echo. Just because you don't like her. How are you going to be any help here at _all_ -

"Bellamy." Kane said frowning, "Echo is a spy, she can look at this from a perspective that nobody else can. You and I both know that she needs to be here." Bellamy said nothing. 

"I need to stay too." Said a small voice from the corner. 

"I'm sorry," Niylah said out of breath from behind her. "I tried to stop her, but the kids smart." 

Madi glared at them. 

"Madi..." Raven said gently moving towards her. 

"No. She's my mom. I know her better, I care about her more." 

"Madi that's not- that's not fair." Raven said. 

"Oh that's not fair, right. And this isn't. You don't even care about her. You hated her." Raven flinched, and a hard look crossed her face. 

"Look Madi, I don't know how long your going to keep this grudge for-" 

"I keep this grudge." Madi said increduosly. "You're the one who's held onto unfair grudges, your the one that blamed her for stuff that wasn't even her fault, you're the one who-" 

"Madi enough." Abby interrupted. 

"NO! No. You weren't even nice to her half the time." Madi said spinning towards Abby. She was out of control. 

"Hey," Monty said stepping forwards. Madi ignored him. Bellamy took a breathe.

"Madi." she froze. "Madi look at me." Slowly, she turned around. He knelt down and placed his hands on her shoulder. 

"I know you know your mom better than most of us." Madi tilted her head, not expecting him to agree with her. "And that's why I know you know Clarke would never forgive any of us if we let you stay." 

"But Bellamy-"

" _Madi_ , this is Clarke we're talking about. You and I both know it's true. If we need you, we'll get someone to find you ok." She stared at him, as if searching to see if it was the truth, and then she deflated. Her blue eyes filling up with tears. 

"Ok." She said softly, she looked small, and sad, and Bellamy hated it. He _hated_ it. His girls should never look small and sad and scared. 

"Come on Madi." Gaia said, he nodded to her and then they walked away. 

An hour later found them in the huge room across the hall. The front of the room was a projector and Raven sat in a corner near the side with three computers around her, working on different things. Clarke was hooked up to a plethora of machines, and everyone else was working on something or near a screen or computer. Bellamy was sitting next to Clarke, holding her hand. Murphy was pacing, again. 

"We're in." Raven said. "I've made connection with Clarke's mind. We should be able to see it soon."

"Be careful Raven, we need to do this gently, we can't risk brain damage." Gabriel warned. Raven nodded and then the huge screen in front of them flickered. 

A grey area filled the room and Raven started clicking around on the keyboard. It slowly came into focus. 

"Where are we?" Niylah questoined. 

"Clarke's cell in the ark." Bellamy answered immediatly, when they were all up in the ark after primfaya Bellamy spent days holed up there. 

"This is Clarke's mindspace?" Monty questioned. 

"Yes, look at the walls. Those are her memories." Gabriel pointed out. 

"They're drawing?" Harper voiced. 

"It's how she manifests them, every mindspace is different. Each one is unique to themselves." Gabriel answered.

Raven was clicking and moving around in the screen, searching the mindspace. Bellamy saw a flash of blonde hair in the top right corner of the screen. 

"So..." Murphy drawled, "We gonna enter a memory or what? 

"What kind of memory do we even enter?" Emori questioned, Bellamy felt completly out of his depth. 

"Preferably her earliest one. The memories that Clarke keeps with her in the mindspace are her most important or most memorable ones. Those are the ones that will have whatever is hurting her in them. Since Clarke isn't in her mindspace she must be in a memory. If we find Clarke we will find the problem. It'll be easiest for us to go through them chronologically. Raven if you could create a code for finding her earliest one-"

"Got it." Raven said, zooming in on a drawing in the corner. The drawing was of two toddlers laughing on the floor. "Get ready, we are going in." She clicked on the drawing and the screen went hazy and then it burst with color. 

The memory was vibrant, but fuzzy on the sides. He could see Clarke and a little boy sitting on the ground playing with blocks. 

"Why are we seeing this from an outsiders POV?" Emori questioned, "If these are Clarke's memories shouldn't we only be able to see this from Clarke's point of view." 

"Theoratically yes, but we are outsiders and Clarke's brain is strong enough to analyze a scene and create what it would look like. We are a third party intruding on this. These are Clarke's memories and we are just sort of watching. We can't actually do anything, that's why we aren't in Clarke's POV. We can move around we just can't change the memory." 

_"Clarke!" The boy yelled, giggling._

_"Wells I won!"_

Bellamy sucked in a breath, Wells. God he hadn't, he hadn't seen him in so long. The last time he saw the guy was when he was burying him. 

"Is that Wells, like Clarke's friend who came to the ground with her Wells?" Emori questioned. 

"Yes." Abby said hoarsely. 

_"Why are you so good at Uno Clarke! It's totally not fair." The boy mock whined._

_"Your better at chess." Clarke said smiling at him._

_"Clarke! Wells! Dinner time!"_

_"Coming Mrs. Griffin!", "Coming Mom!" two voices chorused at once._

_"Race you there!"  
_

_"Hey!" Wells said, scrambling to catch up. "You cheated, you got a head start!" Clarke giggled and hid behind her dad's legs._

_"Wells who are you talking to?" Jake questioned._

_"Clarke!" the boy responded._

_"Clarke?" Jake quesitoned looking around the room. "I don't see Clarke anywhere."_

_"She's right behind you! Look!" Jake spun around and Clarke giggled when he looked everywhere but her._

_"I don't see her."_

_"Daddy I'm right here."_

_"Clarke is that you?" Wells was giggling now as well._

_"She's right in front of you!" The boy yelled. Jake stopped and_

_"Ahhhh!" He scooped both kids up who kept giggling and brought them to the kitchen._

The screen went hazy and the memory faded away. Nobody said anything. Nobody knew what to say, everyone in that memory was dead, it was somewhat horrifying to think about. A new memory started to come into focus. It wasn't as vibrant as the last one. It was muted somehow and the colors lacked life. 

_"Look it's the princess!" A boy yelled from the hallway. Clarke was walking from the library a stack of books in her hand._

_"What's up Griffin!" One of them yelled. Clarke was shaking and looked about only 6 or 7 years old._

_"Aww look she's scared, she's a big baby."_

_"I'm not scared!" Clarke said whipping around. "And I'm **not** a baby. I am 7 and a half years old." She said tilting her chin up and crossing her arms. _

**_The memory flashed and that Clarke was replaced with a ten years older Clarke tilting her chin up to Cage Wallace. It flickered back to the original memory._ **

It was such a Clarke look it made his heart hurt. Even at 7 years old she stood her ground. He glanced around the room and he could tell others felt the same way. 

_"Awww guys she's seven years old." The boy towered over her. "Guess how old I am." Clarke just stared at him._

_"I don't care how old you are, now leave me alone."_

_"I'm eleven. You think you can fight an eleven year old, an eleven year old boy." The other boys snickered._

_"Yes, I can." The boys face flushed and he stepped even closer. "Get away from me." The boy didn't budge. Clarke shoved him forwards and he stumbled to the floor._

_"Why you little-"  
_

_The memory brightened, the colors becoming sharper and somebody stepped into the doorway._

_"Hey!" a familiar voice called out. "You leave her alone."_

_The boys froze and took a step back._

_"You think it's funny threatening people like that?" They shook there heads frantically._

_"No- no Bellamy."_

"Bellamy!" Raven exclaimed. 

"No way. I didn't know you met Clarke before you came to the ground." Octavia said. 

"I didn't know it was her, I hardly remember that to be honest." 

_"I better not see you do that again." Bellamy said. He turned to her and crouched down so that he was eye level with Clarke._

_"Hey, are you ok?" he questioned. Clarke tilted her head up._

_"I had that handled." She said._

_Bellamy's lips quirked up,_

**_The memory flashed and suddenly that Bellamy was replaced with a ten years older Bellamy quirking his lips up at Clarke after he asked if her if she was alright. It flickered back to the original memory._ **

_"I'm sure you did." he said seriously. Clarke nodded once sharply and Bellamy made to turn around._

_"Wait!" She called out. Bellamy turned around. "What book are you reading?" he grinned and made his way back over._

_"It's a book about Greek God." Bellamy said._

_"Oh I know them." Clarke said knowingly. "Are teacher read as a story about the twelve olympians in English class."_

_"And what did you think?" Bellamy questioned._

_"It was good," she glanced at him, "Hades is my favorite."_

_"Mine too."_  
  


The memory faded away. 

"Aww Bell you were a nerd even back then." Murphy teased. 

"That was adorable, how old were you?" Harper questioned. 

"Probably Madi's age, around 12 or 13." He replied rubbing the back of his neck. "I never knew that was Clarke, no idea how I didn't make the connection." 

"Well you are an idiot." Murphy deadpanned. "So it's not suprising." 

"Haha very funny Murphy." Murphy opened his mouth to reply but another memory flickered onto the screen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides in a corner*
> 
> AHHHH guys I'm sorry. 
> 
> This past term has been so stressful and I've hardly had anytime to wrtie, but I finally finished it. 
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry about the cliff hanger- I told you it wasn't going to be pretty...


	12. It's the Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Sexual Assualt, Violence, Suicidal Thoughts...

_"Look it's the_ _princesss" a voice hollared out._

_Clarke kept walking, Wells not far behind her._

_"How does it feel to only have one friend?" Another one called out_

_"Pathetic. Aren't you lonely?" Clarke just kept walking, while Wells fidgeted at her side._

_"Clarke?" he asked, she tilted her head towards him._ _"I'm actually gonna go hang out with Glass today." Clarke forced herself to nod and threw him a smile. Wells smiled and squeezed her arm, walking in the other direction._

_The jeers got even louder_

_"Awww even Wells got sick of you!"_

The memory faded out. 

"Kids are cruel." Murphy finally said. 

"I didn't realize she was bullied?" Abby questioned with a frown. 

Murphy scoffed from the other side of the room, and Abby narrowed her eyes at him but didn't say anything. Bellamy wondered if those two would ever get along. Honestly, he thought that their shared care for Clarke would bring them together but it almost seemed to do the opposite...

It looked like Murphy was going to speak up anyways against the variety of pointed looks thrown his way. 

"Look, I'm just going to ignore that highly ignorant and dumb statement by Griffin Senior over here" Abby opened her mouth but Murphy kept talking, "and I'm going to be honest, if we continue through these memories at this pace we're gonna be here forever, and Clarke doesn't have that kind of time." Bellamy blinked. He hadn't realized how much time had already passed, he was too focused on Clarke and her memories. 

Abby sighed but nodded, opening her mouth to speak.

"I hate to say it, but I agree."

"Don't worry I hate to hear it more." Murphy snarked. 

Kane quickly spoke up stopping an argument between the two. 

"Do we have any way to filter through these? I mean what do we know?" Kane asked answering the question himself. "We know that since Clarke isn't in her mindspace she's in a memory. We know that Clarke's brain is deteriorating and there is something causing that, and we know that wherever Clarke is, this... anomaly is there too. We also know that the memory Clarke is in has got to be something big..."

"I can try to narrow it down more, by creating another code filtering out even more memories, but we risk skipping the memory Clarke is in." Raven said.

Emori frowned,

"What if you added another variable to the code. You could include the brain waves and Clarke's signature into the code. The memories with Clarke and whatever's causing this will have the highest brain activity, right? So if we filter out memories with low brain activity we should be able to narrow it down even further. We'll be left with only the ones with the highest activity." Emori said brainstorming. 

"That... could work." Raven said hesitantly. 

"But that also means we're only seeing the most impactful memories to Clarke. The memories with high wave activity are the ones that shaped who she is, the ones that impacted her the most, the ones that caused a strong emotional response from her. We're diving even deeper into her privacy now, I just want everyone to be aware of that. " Gabriel finished.

"We know Gabriel." Miller said nodding slowly, sensing that Gabriel didn't want to lose his morals again, like he did while making the original mind drives. 

Twenty minutes later, and the new code was in place. 

"Ok. We will be entering a new memory in, 3,2,1..."

The screen went hazy and colors began to come into focus. It was somewhat muted filled with gray , and Bellamy immediatley recognized it as the med bay from the arc. 

_"Clarke, have you met with patient 1207?" Abby's voice called from the other side of the room._

_"Yes mom." Clarke said calling back. She looked young- probably about 16 years old._

_"What did I tell you Clarke." Abby retorted sharply,_

Bellamy was taken aback by her harsh tone.

_Clarke ducked her head at the criticism and then straightened up._

_"Right, sorry Dr. Griffin." Abby nodded once and then went back to work._

_The door opened and a man with a teenage boy walked into the room. He lifted his head up, and Clarke immediately began walking over._

Bellamy did a double take when he saw his face, that was Murphy. He swiveled his head around to look at him like many others. Murphy didn't say anything, but his jaw was clenched tight. 

_"Hi, how can I help you?" Clarke asked, Murphy looked her up and down and then sighed._

_"I think I'm sick..." Murphy replied deadpanned. His father ruffled his hair, a clear chide._

_Clarke frowned, her eyes darting back and forth at them._

_"Right, well, follow me, and take a seat over here so I can give you a checkup." Clarke lead them into a small room and Murphy sat down on the patients chair. Clarke handed them a couple forms to fill out, and Murphy took it, albeit reluctantly. A couple minutes later, and Clarke was back collecting the papers and getting to work._

_"What are your symptoms?" Clarke asked._

_"Nausea, fever, sleep deprivation, cough, and a stuffed nose." Clarke nodded scribbling stuff down on her clipboard._

_"All right, let me go grab a couple tests for you. Dr. Griffin should be here shortly to adminster them._

_At that, Murphy frowned._

_"Why not you?"_

_"I'm just a nurse." Clarke said with a wry grin before grabbing her papers and heading out the door._

_"Mo- Dr. Griffin." she called, "there's a patient in room 12 for you." Abby nodded and grabbed the papers scanning them briefly._

_"Farm station." she muttered raising a brow. Clarke handed her the tests and her mom was off without sparing her a glance._

_Ten minutes later found Abby briskly walking back, handing the tests to Clarke, who immediatly had them analyzed._

_"Dr. Griffin, it seems that Murphy has a severe case of the flu and needs immediate treatement."_

Bellamy thought it was a little weird that Clarke continued to call her mom "Dr Griffin", but at Abby's clearly uncomfortable look he choose not to mention it.

_Abby nodded and then entered the room again. Five minutes later, shouting could be heard from inside the room._

_"What do you mean, he has the flu but you can't treat him?" Murphy's dad cried incredously._

_"I am sorry, but I am unable to-"  
_

_"Bullshit. Am I seriously supposed to believe that crap you're feeding me. This is my son we're talking about!"_

_"I'll give you a couple minutes to talk." Abby said, opening the door._

_"Hey." Clarke said waving her over. "What was that about."  
_

_Abby sighed, looking at her somewhat condescendingly._

_"Nothing honey." She said smiling sweetly, Clarke didn't move, already seeing through the bullshit._

_"Are you not giving him treatment?" She questioned, straight to the point. Abby sighed._

_"It's more complicated than that."_

_"Doesn't seem to complicated to me- he's a minor with the flu, the proper prodicall would be to administer the medicine."_

_"Don't get involved in things you don't understand." Abby snapped. Clarke reared back, but squared her shoulders._

_"Then tell me what exactly it is that I don't understand."_   
  


It looked like the start of another Griffin face off, and Bellamy winced, not excited to see it. He spared a glance at Abby, who had her head down, not meeting anyone's eye.

_"Go back to your paperwork." Abby said, clearly dismissing her. Clarke lifted her eyes._

_"No." She said staring her straight on._

**_The image flashed and an older Clarke who was staring down Bloodreina flickered into view._**

_"Excuse me." Abby hissed._

_"I'm going to administer the medicine."_

_"We are not waisting medicine on that boy from Fram Station!" Abby snapped, the words she wouldn't say finally making an appearance._

Bellamy froze and glanced at Abby, and then at Murphy both of who were not meeting anyone's eyes. It seemed like there was much more bad blood between them then he originally thought. 

_"That's discrimination." Clarke hissed ,her eyes wide. Abby glared at her._

_"I will deal with this Clarke, now go back to your work." Clarke clenched her jaw but walked back to her desk._

Bellamy was surprised, that felt so out of character for Clarke. 

_Abby entered the room and Clarke scanned the medbay. She quickly left her chair and swiped a bottle off of one of the tables from the back of the room. She glanced around once more and slipped the bottle into a coat at the front of the medbay, and then took a seat once again._

_Murphy's dad stormed out of the medbay- grabbing his coat, with Murphy lagging slightly behind him. Clarke smiled just slightly and the memory flickered._

Bellamy didn't know what to say, and Murphy was looking at the screen with wide eyes, clearly he had no idea that Clarke had slipped him the medicine. Bellamy turned his attention back to the memory in front of him. He glanced at the calendar in the medbay, it seems like this was at least two weeks later. 

_Clarke was sitting at her desk doing paperwork when her Mom walked through the door in a hurry, two Ark guards behind her._

_"Yes ma'am." one of them said, "last night we arrested Mr. Murphy right here for stealing medicine from the medical bay."_

Oh, shit. Bellamy looked at Murphy who was resting his chin on the top of Emori's head, staring resolutely at the floor. He locked eyes with Emori, who didn't look surprised at what was happening. Clearly, Murphy had already told her about this. He glanced around the room and other people were starting to connect what was happening. 

_"Oh that is such a shame." Abby said, "Do you have the medicine with you?" The officer nodded who handed Abby the medicine. "Clarke." Abby called out," Come file this away please." Clarke clenched her jaw, glared at her mom but still went to grab the medicine._

_After the officers left, Abby turned to her tutting._

_"Now, do you understand what I did Clarke?" Abby questioned, superiority all over her face._

_"No." Clarke ground out her jaw clenched, as she continued working on her paperwork "Dr. Griffin, I do not."_

_"Look at me when I speak to you Clarke." Abby said sharply, Clarke swallowed and looked her straight in the eyes. "Mr. Murphy is a thief, a criminal, and we have to save this medicine for those who are more important."_

_"He only stole because you refused to give him medicine that would save his son!" Clarke snapped. Abby glared at her._

_"I did what I had to do Clarke, someday you will understand that." Abby finished turning away from her, attempting to end the conversation which was clearly not going as planned._

_"I'm reporting you." Clarke said._

Bellamy sucked in a breath at that, as was Murphy, who was looking at Clarke with an expression Bellamy couldn't quite make out. 

_"Excuse me." Abby said, whirling around. "Did you just say you were going to report me?"Clarke swallowed hard, but nodded._

_"You heard me, you didn't obey proticall, you let an innocent kid go without medicine he needed to save his life. If I report you I can stop his dad from getting floated for stealing the next round of his medicine, and you'd get stripped of your seat on the council and position as a doctor."_

_"Good to know where your loyalties lie Clarke." Abby said, "Not to your family, but some random good for nothing delinquent that you don't even know." Abby spit out._

_"This is about doing what's right, Dr. Griffin." Clarke spat, knocking her shoulder past Abby as she walked to the door._

_"To bad it won't do anything if you report me." Abby said right as Clarke had placed her hand on the door knob, "The council already knows about this off the record policy, in fact they're the ones who created it."Clarke whirled around._

_"That's illegal, that's- that's discrimination." Abby sighed._

_"That's surviving." Abby said, and then she turned around, looking back at Clarke, "And Clarke, you said he stole his second round of medicine. I don't think the council would like to know who stole the first,_

Holy shit, was Abby threatening her own daughter. Bellamy had no idea that the tension between the two ran this far back. Suddenly so many of Clarke's actions made more sense.

 _l,_ _luckily for you, put my family first." Abby finished, the implied message lingered in the room as the memory finally flickered out._

Bellamy couldn't help but feel like that was ironic considering that Abby was the one who choose the council over her own husband. 

"I- I'm so sorry-" Abby started remorse dripping from her voice. She was ashamed of her past actions, it was obvious to everyone in the room, but Bellamy didn't think that would be enough for Murphy.

"Don't." Murphy snapped, interrupting her, "Let's just move on."

Bellamy shared a look with Emori, who shook her head. Raven sighed, but then began typing on her computer and the next memory flickered on the screen. 

_"Dad!" Clarke yelled, struggling against the guards. He rushed to hug her and she sobbed into his chest._

Bellamy glanced at Abby who held a shaking hand to her mouth and Kane held her, the man not even trying to stop the tears from falling down. 

_It was too late, and then he was gone. The airway opened and Jake Griffin was ejected into space as Clarke was dragged away._

Bellamy stared at Clarke, stared at the girl lying on the bed peacefully and wanted to cry. Before anyone could even say anything the next memory started. 

_Clarke was sitting on the floor of her cell, staring at nothing._

_"I think that one's gone nuts!" one of the guards jeered from outside her cell. Clarke didn't even move, just continued staring blankly at the wall._

_"Been in there for a year, I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did." Clarke didn't even flinch._

It was unsettling, to see her so emotionless. Bellamy was struck with the thought of her isolation, Clarke so full of passion and light being stuck inside a dark cell for a year with no human contact was not something he ever wanted to think about. But he was and it happened and there was nothing he could do about it. 

_The door to the cell swung open and one of the guards came swaggering in._

_"Bitch, respond if you're alive." Nothing. "Hello?" he said mockingly, waving his hand in front of her. He smirked then and clicked the button on the door, locking it shut while the others made vulgar noises in the background._

_The guard roughly grabbed Clarke's arm and pulled her up. Clarke looked dazed, her eyes glazed over._

"What's wrong with her?" Indra questioned, "Why isn't she reacting?" Abby swallowed hard, but it was Gabriel who spoke up.

"From what I gather, she's been in isolation for a year, that has- that has huge lasting effects on the mind, and her not reacting to anything seems like, well it seems like the response of someone who's been alone so long they've started to lose semblance on reality." 

"But, when we got to the ground, Clarke was okay?" Miller piped up. Gabriel shook his head. 

"She might've seemed ok, because she was putting up a front or a mask, but it definitely had affects on her. Did she ever want to be alone, or feel like leaving and being away from people was her only option?" Bellamy swallowed hard. 

"After Mt. Weather," Bellamy said, his voice hoarse, "She- she left after Mt. Weather, do you think it's" he waved his hand around, "because of this somehow?" Gabriel nodded.

"I believe so, Clarke spent a year in solitude during a crucial period in her brain development. I'm surprised she isn't stunted or anything like that."

Bellamy nodded and turned back to the memory, his head swimming. 

_"This is too easy," the guard murmured and then he stuck his tongue down Clarke's throat._

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bellamy felt hot fury pulse in veins. 

_Clarke's eyes began to focus again, and anyone could see the exact moment the panic settled. The guard had one hand on her bottom and was pressing her against the wall. Clarke began weakly shoving at him, and he slapped her, hard._

"Oh my god," Emori whispered horrified. 

_Clarke was struggling now, shoving at the guard. He hit her so hard against the wall that her head bounced back against it, leaving Clarke dazed and then he was pulling at her shirt._

"Shut it off." Abby whispered. Nobody moved. 

" I said shut it off!" Abby yelled, making her way over to Raven. 

"Abby!" Diyoza snapped, "If you have to leave the room, leave. But we need to continue this, you and I both know this isn't the worst she's been through." Abby swallowed, hard, but nodded. 

_"Get off me!" Clarke yelled, her eyes were sharp and aware. They darted around the room and settled on the clipboard he had left on her cold cot. She glanced up at his sneering face and then kneed him in the groin, causing him to keel over._

Octavia pumped her fist in the air, "Atta girl, hit him where it hurts."

_Clarke whirled around, immediatley grabbing the clipboard and pointing it at him._

_"Get up." She commanded. He groaned and she clenched her jaw, and then stalked forward slapping him in the face. She grabbed his chin in her hand. "If I ever found out you lay a hand on another person again I will slit your throat, do you understand." She had snapped_ _the metal part of the clipboard off and kept it clutched in her hand._

_She pressed it against his neck, and he looked up at her, eyes wide._

_"I said, do, you, understand." The guard nodded and she let him up, she almost looked shocked with herself that threatening him worked. The memory flickered out..._

"Damn." Miller said, "Didn't realize Clarke could be scary even back then..." Other people nodded their heads in agreement, but they all still looked troubled.

Bellamy felt like he was questioning everything he knew about Clarke, she was sexually assaulted and he never even knew. He had seen that guard on the ground before, and she never said anything? 

"Does anyone know what happened to that man?" Bellamy questioned, fists clenched. 

"Back on the ground, Clarke had me remove him from the guard on the basis of sexual misconduct, but... she never told me it was about herself..." Kane said, trailing off. 

"Where is he now?" Murphy questioned, eyes darting around the room. Murphy was a little off the rails right now. He had to watch what happened to his dad all over again, and had to watch arguably one of the only people who truly understands him get groped against there will. 

"I killed him." Octavia said gruff, snapping Bellamy out of his trance. "Cut off his head." 

"Why?" Harper questioned. Miller glanced around the room uneasily. 

"He attempted to assault a girl in the dining hall." Octavia said, "So I killed him." The way Octavia could still say stuff like that without even flinching would never stop unnerving him. However, this time Bellamy was glad Octavia showed no Mercy. 

"Good." Diyoza said finally, "Bastard deserved it." A new memory began flickering onto the screen, and Bellamy braced himself.

_Clarke was sitting in front of grave._

_Wells Jaha, it read in the dirt. Carefully, she layed down a little bouqet of all the flowers she could muster up._

_She glanced up at the sun, and cried. Let her tears slip out, before she heard shouts, squared her shoulders and walked back._

It was eerily quiet in the room, and Raven clicked on the next memory without saying a word. 

_Clarke was on the ground staring up at the top of her tent, when the flap opened and Bellamy walked in._

The eyes in the room immediately snapped towards him, but Bellamy stared forward, he knew what this was immediately, it was a couple of days after he and Clarke brought guns back to camp. 

_"Hey Princess." Clarke snapped up to him, and hastily wiped her eyes. Bellamy frowned at the action._

_"What's wrong?" Clarke asked, preparing for the worst._

_"What, something has to be wrong for me to come see you." Bellamy replied._

_"You hate me." Clarke deadpanned, Bellamy grinned, gingerly sitting on the bed as if testing new waters._

_"Awww, I thought we'd moved passed that Princess." He said, knocking his shoulder with hers. She glanced up at him then, a smirk playing on her lips._

_"Who told you that?" He rolled his eyes and she turned to look forwards. Bellamy watched her side profile, until she couldn't stand the silence anymore and turned back to face him which caused him to smirk again. "You're such an ass."_

_"You love me." He replied, a light blush peppered Clarke's cheeks, which made Bellamy's grin widen._

_"You have no idea what you're talking about." She replied resolutely, Bellamy glanced down at the sheet of paper she was clutching, it was a sketch of Wells, and when Bellamy glanced back at her his eyes were full of gentle concern._

_"I'm not a leader Bellamy." Clarke said, breaking the silence and turning to face him, "not like he was." A single tear slipped down her face, and Bellamy gently wiped it off. Clarke's eyes flickered towards him as if searching for answers._

Watching the memory was weird, it felt like yesterday yet also a lifetime ago. 

_"I'm not either." Bellamy said, "but we can do this Clarke, together." Clarke nodded and then hesitantly rested her head on his shoulder. Bellamy sucked in a breath and then let himself lean on her as well. She squeezed his hand._ _  
_

_"Together." She whispered back, the memory flickered out._

Bellamy sucked in a breath, and glanced around the room. Nobody looked shocked or surprised at the scene, in fact Harper looked... oddly moved. 

"Why'd we see that?" He finally voiced, "It wasn't- it couldn't have been particularly important to her." When Raven looked at him, he couldn't read what was in her eyes. 

"It was to her." Raven said, he turned away and was met with Echo who was staring at the wall with something like... understanding in her own eyes. A new memory forming broke Bellamy out of his thoughts. 

_"I burned 300 of your people, I slit a man's throat and watched him die, I'm soaked in grounder blood. Take me." Clarke said passionatly, tears stinging her eyes as she pleaded with Lexa._

Bellamy glanced at Raven, he knew what this was immediatly. Sometimes he felt like Raven never truly forgave Clarke for this, for killing Finn. He didn't know what watching this would do. Some part buried inside him hated how much Raven put Clarke through for this, but another part of him tried to remember Gina and how angry he was. He focused back on the memory. 

_"Finn is guilty." Clarke shook her head._

_"No! He did it for me." she trailed off, "He did it for me."_

_"Then he dies for you." Lexa replied cooly._

_Clarke looked at Finn who was tied to the tree, staring at her, and glanced back at Lexa._

_"Can I say goodbye?" She whispered through clenched teeth. Lexa nodded, giving Clarke at least that._

_Clarke ran to Finn, and kissed him, willing the salty tears that were slipping out to go away._

_"I love you too." She whispered, staring at him intently._

Raven chocked behind them, covering her mouth, her eyes wide with something akin to shock simmering in them. 

"Raven." Monty said, but she shook her head and stared at the memory.

_"I'm scared." Finn whispered and Clarke hugged him, nuzzling into his neck as he tried to hold back tears._

Harper was crying and shockingly enough it looked like Miller was. Raven looked like her world had been flipped upside down. 

_"You're going to be ok." She chocked out, her tears falling freely. "You're ok." Finn groaned._

And that's when it hit Bellamy, when it hit all of them. 

_"Thanks princess."_

Raven sobbed behind him, covering her mouth with shaky hands as the memory faded just as Clarke stepped back and the moonlight illuminated her tear streaked face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH
> 
> Oh my god, sorry about the long wait! Thank you so much for all of the comments, everytime I see one I force myself to keep going and finish this story. You guys motivate me! Please please comment and let me know if there is something that you really want to see next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo if you guys didn't catch it, the him Clarke is talking about is... Bellamy dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!!! Anyway updates will be every Tuesday, and maybe earlier if I have time. Let me know what you guys think in the comments.


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